QUICKSWOOD

OBJECT 12

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-11-05T14:22:46-04:00

A half-century in a man’s life is a significant chunk of time and so turning 50 was an important landmark for me. It was the moment when I stood on the timeline and saw for the first time both the beginning and the end. But I’m a lucky man for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that the cloud that was my 50th birthday had a silver lining. That’s not quite right. Actually, my wife presented me with a birthday present that was a cloud, but a very special cloud, a cloud with a plastic lining. My 50th birthday present from Josée was La Chaise, Charles and Ray Eames’ iconic chaise longue and the object of desire of every serious chair lover.

La Chaise, the chair in French. Makes sense, right? Not so simple. The name does not refer to an object but rather to a person, the French-American sculptor Gaston Lachaise (1882 – 1935). It is said that as the chair was taking shape in the Eames office, someone suggested that they could imagine a Gaston Lachaise model reclining in it. In honor of the sculptor and no doubt for the pun of it, Charles and Ray named the chair La Chaise.

No object exists in isolation and it is likely that La Chaise is related conceptually to the surrealistic style as espoused by Salvador Dali. Consider Dali’s Le Sommeil (1937) and Vestiges Ataviques Apres La Pluie (1934). Both of these paintings make use of organic shapes in surreal contexts. The latter of these two works is especially significant in its similarity in that the main object is white and possesses a topological genus of 1. The hole in La Chaise catches the eye and in my opinion amplifies the organic character of the chair.
La Chaise appears to have its roots in a series of chairs designed jointly by Charles Eames and Eero Saarinen for The Museum of Modern Art’s “Organic Design in Home Furnishings” competition in 1940. Among the many pieces they submitted were 3 chairs that went far beyond conventional bounds. These were truly “organic” in the sense of being nearly freeform and sculptural. The chairs were praised for their use of new manufacturing techniques to mold wood into compound curves. The “lounging shape” organic chair (pictured right) in particular is most likely the direct precursor to La Chaise and is the only one of the 3 that accommodated both upright and reclined postures.
In 1948, New York’s Museum of Modern Art announced its International Competition for Low-Cost Furniture Design. Three thousand entries were submitted from the USA and around the world. The Eames’ submitted a series of metal and plastic molded chairs that would eventually make their fame and fortune. One of their submissions however stood out from the rest as less “serious” but more aesthetic: La Chaise.
La Chaise was submitted under Charles’ name but although there is no doubt he contributed to its design, most insiders attribute this piece to Ray. Indeed, many photos of the chair’s development show Ray at work on it. This bit of doubt as to who actually designed La Chaise may explain why this page on Moss’ web site lists the designer of La Chaise as unknown. I’ve written to Moss about this as I feel unknown should at least be changed to Charles and Ray Eames. No reply as of the time of writing.

La Chaise is constructed of 2 fiberglass shells glued together and separated by a rubber disk. The space between the shells is filled with styrene. The shells are painted white and sit atop a chrome-plated tubular steel frame fixed to a natural solid oak crossed-shape base. This is a large chair at 150cm wide and 87cm high. It weighs in at about 42.5kg.
At the time of the competition, a full-scale prototype was submitted. However, because the factory floor price for La Chaise was estimated to be $27.00, the chair never went into production. It was not until 1991 (The actual year production started is variously stated as 1989, 1990 or 1991.) that Vitra started manufacturing small quantities of the chair in serial production. La Chaise became a symbol of the renewed interest in mid-20th century modern when the fashion designer, Tom Ford, featured his own La Chaise in a 1995 advertising campaign for Gucci. The price of La Chaise at MoMA at the time of writing is $8,430. Go figure.

Shaped like a cloud and looking more like a sculpture than on object to sit on, you may be wondering how comfortable La Chaise is. Amazingly enough, this is one of our most comfortable chairs and one Josée and I often use for reading. Either sitting upright or reclining, the chair seems to envelope and support you. It is also the first chair people want to try when they enter our dinning room. For now, it is by far my very favorite chair.

Joseph Froncioni

600 BOOKS

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-10-15T21:56:13-03:00

The first 600 books I've read (or at least the 600 I remember).

I love books and for this I have my father to thank. Dad was a voracious reader who was especially enamored with history and the classics. I on the other hand consider myself to be more of an omnivore who if anything is a bit lacking in the classics department. I’m not a collector of books but I do keep all the books I read except bestsellers. As a rule I do not lend or borrow books.
I have a deep appreciation for books although I would not consider myself a bibliophile. Unusual as it may seem, I make no bones about judging a book by its cover. Indeed, it is a rare exception for me to purchase a book without due consideration to design, cover art and binding. Next time you visit a bookshop ask to see any title from the Everyman’s Library collection published by Alfred A. Knopf (look for the borzoi) or leaf through books from Bibliothèque de la Pléiade published by France’s famous Éditions Gallimard. For me at least, these are two examples of books at their very best. For those bibliophiles in Montreal, a real treat awaits you at LIBRISSIME, a bookstore like you’ve never seen before.
Ever read the colophon of a book? I do when there’s one to be found because I’m interested in typography (see Helvetica – 50 Years Young). Do you dog-ear the pages of your books or do you use bookmarks? Do you have any books with bound bookmarks? (Most of the books in the collections mentioned above do.)
You may consider it an innocent peculiarity or then again you may think it rude but I have to admit that when I am a guest in someone’s house, I make it a point to keep a close eye out for books. I will leaf through coffee-table books if they are to be found or I’ll scan the shelves if a library is at hand. There is no denying that one can tell a lot about someone from the books they read. Then again, I’ve been in some homes where not one measly volume is about. Makes you wonder. Furthermore, I’m always amazed that some people can sit around a coffee-table that is covered with big beautiful books and not leaf through one of them. Do they consider it antisocial? Maybe so.
Some years ago, I started to compile a list of all the books I have read, no easy task I assure you. I’ve just reached the 600 mark. Six hundred books in 54 years. Doesn’t sound like a lot of reading does it? That’s an average of less than a book a month over my lifetime. However, on closer analysis, this is not quite accurate. First, I have not included the textbooks I read through primary school, high school, university, medical school and residency; that’s got to be at least 200 books. Second, I estimate that I’ve forgotten at least15 percent of all the books I’ve read. So, a rough estimate of the total number of books I’ve read in 54 years is just over 1000. That makes the lifetime average approximately 18.5 per year. Just to give it some perspective, I know for a fact that since I started this website in May 2005, I’ve read 106 books or over 42 books a year. I guess I have a bit more time on my hands as I get older.
Someone once told me that men read a lot more nonfiction than women but I’ve never been able to verify that. Looking at my list, I can tell you that just under 35% of the books I’ve read are nonfiction. Before I compiled the list, I would have guessed that the split would be about 50/50. Looking at the books I’ve read in the last 2 years, 46% are non-fiction. Not sure if there is a trend there.
Now, why compile a list in the first place? I know it’s a bit obsessive but you find reading lists all over the Internet. I’m interested in what other people read so why not find out what I’ve read first? I wonder if my dad kept a reading list; not likely but I'm sure it would have been a mighty interesting one. The Internet has made compiling such a list so much easier and Amazon is a wonderful place to start.
I guess after all this you’ll ask me to pick my all-time favorite books, right? It's not easy but here goes: Fiction, A Maggot by John Fowles and non-fiction, Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. I've always liked historical fiction and A Maggot is that with a bit of a science fiction twist. Guns, Germs and Steel is a book that does a stirling job at explaining many of factors that have shaped man's history. The book was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for non-fiction and Guns, Germs and Steel is considered by many one of the best non-fiction books of the 20th Century. Now here’s the bloody list and let’s be done with it (sorry about the poor demarcation between title and author).

100 Masterpieces from the Vitra Design Museum Alexander von Vegesak
1000 Chairs Charlotte and Peter Fiell
102 Minutes Jim Dwyer and Kevin Flynn
1st to Die James Patterson
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Jules Verne
2001: A Space Odyssey Arthur C. Clarke
2107 Curious Word Origins, Sayings and Expressions from White Elephants to Song Dance Charles Earl Funk
397 Chairs Arthur C. Danto
50 Chairs Inovation in Design and Materials Mel Byars
A Brief History of Time Stephen Hawking
A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens
A Clockwork Orange Anthony Burgess
A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court Mark Twain
A Cook's Tour Anthony Bourdain
A Crack in the Edge of the World Simon Winchester
A Dangerous Fortune Ken Follett
A Death in Belmont Sebastian Junger
A Farewell to Arms Ernest Hemingway
A Food Lover's Companion to Tuscany Carla Capalbo
A Life in Sciences Stephen Hawking
A Maggot John Fowles
A Man in Full Tom Wolfe
A Meal Observed Andrew Todhunter
A Mighty Heart Mariane Pearl
A Moveable Feast Ernest Hemingway
A Painted House John Grisham
A Rare and Curious Gift Pauline Holdstock
A Respectable Trade Philippa Gregory
A Short History of Nearly Everything Bill Bryson
A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian Marina Lewycka
A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens
A Taste for Death P.D.James
A Time to Die Wilbur Smith
A Time to Kill John Grisham
A Very Long Engagement Sébastien Japrisot
A Walk in the Woods Bill Bryson
A Year in Provence Peter Mayle
Absurdistan Gary Shteyngart
Accordion Crimes Annie Proux
Acquired Tastes Peter Mayle
Adventures of Huckelberry Finn Mark train
After Dark Haruki Murakami
Airframe Michael Crichton
Airport Arthur Hailey
Alaska James Michner
Alexander Calder and his Magic Mobiles Jean Lipman et al
Alexander Vol. 1 Valerio Massimo Manfredi
Alexander Vol. 2 Valerio Massimo Manfredi
Alexander Vol. 3 Valerio Massimo Manfredi
Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll
Alive Piers Paul Read
Along Came a Spider James Patterson
Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient Norman Cousins
Ancient Evenings Norman Mailer
Andromida Strain Michael Crichton
Angel of Darkness Caleb Carr
Angela's Ashes Frank McCourt
Angels and Demons Dan Brown
Animal Farm George Orwell
Annapurna Circuit Andrew Stevenson
Anything Considered Peter Mayle
Arthur and George Julian Barnes
As I Lay Dying William Faulkner
Atonement Ian McEwan
Basket Case Carl Hiaasen
Baudolino Umberto Eco
Be Seated A Book About Chairs James Cross Giblin
Bear Attacks Stephen Herrero
Being Digital Nicholas Negroponte
Being There Jerzy Kosinski
Bel Canto Ann Patchett
Bermuda: Five Centuries Rosemary Jones
Berrocal: Antologica Berrocal (1955 - 1984) Ministerio de Cultura
Betrayers of the Truth William Broad
Between a Rock and a Hard Place Aron Ralston
Birds of Prey Wilbur Smith
Black Like Me John Howard Griffin
Blackhawk Down Mark Bowden
Blindness Jose Saramago
Blink Malcolm Gladwell
Blood Work Michael Connelly
Breaking the Spell Daniel C. Dennett
Brunelleschi's Dome Ross King
Burning Shore Wilbur Smith
Calder Sculpture Alexander Calder
Cannery Row John Steinbeck
Caribbean James A. Mitchner
Carpetbaggers Harrold Robbins
Casanova in Bolzano Sandor Marai
Casino Royale Ian Fleming
Catch 22 Joseph Heller
Catcher in the Rye J.D.Salinger
Chair Barbara Prete
Chairman Rolf Fehlbaum Tibor Kalman
Chairs Peter Johnson
Chosen Prey John Sanford
Classic Herman Miller Leslie A. Pina
Close to the Wind Pete Goss
Code Name Ginger Steve Kemper
Cold Mountain Charles Frazier
Collapse Jared Diamond
Complications Atul Gawande
Confessions of a French Baker Peter Mayle
Consilience Edward O. Wilson
Corelli's Mandolin Louis de Bernieres
Creation Gore Vidal
Critical Path R. Buckminster Fuller
Culture and Imperialism Edward Said
Danish Chairs Noritsugu Oda
Dark Age Ahead Jane Jacobs
Days That Changed the World Hywell Williams
Death in the Afternoon Ernest Hemingway
Death of a Salesman Arthur Miller
Death of a Stranger Anne Perry
Debt of Honor Tom Clancy
Deception Point Dan Brown
Deja Dead Kathleen Reichs
Devices and Desires P.D.James
Dictionnaire amououreux du Vin Bernard Pivot
Digital Fortress Dan Brown
Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde Robert Louis Stevenson
Don't Try This at Home Kimberly Witherspoon
Dr. No Ian Fleming
Eames Design John Neuhart et al
Earthly Powers Anthony Burgess
East of Eden John Steinbeck
Eaters of the Dead Michael Crichton
Eats, Shoots and Leaves Lynne Truss
Eclipse John Banville
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems Edgar Allan Poe
Eiger Dreams: Ventures Among Men and Mountains Jon Krakauer
Embraced by the Light Betty J. Eadie
Emily Post's Etiquette Peggy Post
Empire Falls Richard Russo
Endurance Alfred Lansing
Epic: Stories of Survival from the World's Highest Peaks Clint Willis
Europe: A History Norman Davies
Evening News Arthur Hailey
Executive Orders Tom Clancy
Eye of the Needle Ken Follett
Fatal Storm Rob Mundley
Fatal Voyage Kathy Reichs
Fierce Pajamas David Remnick and Henry Finder (Ed)
Fire Sebastian Junger
First Man: The Life of Neil A. Armstrong James R. Hansen
Flowers for Algernon Daniel Keyes
For Whom the Bell Tolls Ernest Hemingway
Forever Pete Hamill
Foucault's Pendulum Umberto Eco
Frank Gehry: New Bentwood Furniture Designs The Montreal Museum of Decorative Arts
Frankenstein Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey J.D.Salinger
Freakonomics Steven D. Levitt
French Women Don't Get Fat Mireille Guiliano
Future Shock Alvin Toffler
Galileo's Daughter Dava Sobel
Girl with the Pearl Earring Tracy Chevalier
God is not Great Christopher Hitchens
Godforsaken Sea Derek Lundy
Going to Extremes Nick Middleton
Golden Fox Wilbur Smith
Goldfinger Ian Fleming
Great Apes Will Self
Great Expectations Charles Dickens
Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift
Guns Germs and Steel Jared Diamond
Hamlet William Shakespeare
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets J.K.Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire J.K.Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J.K.Rowling
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone J.K.Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban J.K.Rowling
Helter Skelter Vincent Bugliosi
Holy Blood Holy Grail Michael Baigent
Hotel Arthur Hailey
How Children Learn John Holt
How Mumbojumbo Conquered the World Francis Wheen
How the Mind Works Steven Pinker
How to Think About Weird Things Theodore Schick
Hunted David Fletcher
I Am Charlotte Simmons Tom Wolfe
I Claudius Robert Graves
Iceberg Clive Cussler
I'm A Stranger Here Myself Bill Bryson
Imperial Life in the Emerald City. Inside Iraq's Green Zone Rajiv Chandrasekaran
In a Sunburned Country Bill Bryson
In Cold Blood Truman Capote
In the Company of the Courtesan Sarah Dunant
In the Electric Mist with Confederate Dead James Lee Burke
In the Hand of Dante Nick Tosches
In the Heart of the Sea Nathaniel Philbrick
In the Wake of the Plague Norman F. Cantor
Inca Gold Clive Cussler
Inferno Dante
Into the Wild Jon Krakauer
Into Thin Air Jon Krakauer
Is Paris Burning Larry Collins Dominique Lapierre
Isaac's Storm Erik Larson
Italian Folktales Italo Calvino
Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte
Jonathan Livingston Seagull Richard Bach
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell Susanna Clarke
Jurassic Park Michael Crichton
Kiss the Girls James Patterson
Kitchen Confidential Anthony Bourdain
Kon-Tiki Thor Heyerdal
Krakatoa Simon Winchester
La Chaise: Un objet de Design ou Architecture Centre de Création de Diffusion en Design
Lady Chatterley's Lover D.H.Lawrence
Last Breath: Cautionary Tales from the Limits of Human Endurance Peter Stark
Last Climb John Mallory
Le Petie Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Leadership Rudolph Giuliani
Leonardo Da Vinci - Flights of the Mind Charles Nicholl
Leonardo’s Swans Karen Ussex
Les Francais Aussi ont un Accent Jean-Benoit Nadeau
Letter to a Christian Nation Sam Harris
Lie Down with Lions Ken Follett
Life Millennium Robert Friedman
Life of Pi Yann Martel
Light in August William Faulkner
Like Water for Chocolate Laura Esquivel
L'industrie Thonet Alexander von Veresack
Little Girls in Pretty Boxes Joan Ryan
Live and Let Die Ian Fleming
Live from Golgotha Gore Vidal
Living History Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lolita Vadimir Nabokov
Long Walk to Freedom Nelson Mandela
Lord of the Flies William Golding
Lore of Running Tim Noakes
Lost City Clive Cussler
Lost Horizon James Hilton
Love in the Time of Cholera Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Lovely Bones Alice Sebold
Macbeth William Shakespeare
Mackintosh to Mollino Fifty Years of Chair Design Derek E. Ostergard
Mademoiselle Victorine Debra Finerman
Magical Thinking Augusten Burroughs
Marcel Breuer Furniture and Interiors Christopher Wilk
Marie Antoinette Antonia Fraser
McGill Medical Luminaries Edward H. Bensley
Memoirs of a Geisha Arthur Golden
Men Myths and Mountains Ronald W. Clark
Mid-Century Modern Cara Greenberg
Middlesex Jeffrey Eugenides
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil John Berendt
Midnight’s Children Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick Herman Melville
Mon Lisa: Inside the Painting Jean-Pierre Mohen
Monsoon Wilbur Smith
Moonraker Ian Fleming
Mortal Fear Robin Cook
Mountain Search and Rescue Techniques W.G.May
My Life and Loves Frank Harris
Napoleon's Buttons Penny Le Couteur
New Italiain Design Nally Bellati
New New Thing Michael Lewis
Night Elie Wiesel
Night Over Water Ken Follett
Nineteen Eighty-Four George Orwell
No Comebacks Frederick Forsyth
Objects of Design from the Museum of Modern Art Paola Antonelli
Octopussy and the Living Daylights Ian Fleming
Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck
Oliver Twist Charles Dickens
On Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Ian Fleming
On the Road Jack Kerouac
On Wings of Eagles Ken Follett
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth R. Buckminster Fuller
Oryx and Crake Margaret Atwood
Outside 25 Hal Espen
Paddy Clark Ha Ha Ha Roddy Doyle
PADI Advanced Diver Manual Dennis Graver
Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid Jimmy Carter
Papillion Henri Charriere
Patriot Games Tom Clancy
Pattern Recognition William Gibson
Perfume Patrick Suskind
Pirate Ted Bell
Pleading Guilty Scott Turow
Polar Shift Clive Cussler
Pompeii Robert Harris
Portnoy's Complaint Philip Roth
Power of the Sword Wilbur Smith
Powershift Alvin Toffler
Presumed Innocent Scott Turow
Prey Michael Crichton
Pride and Prejudice Jane Austin
Questioning the Millenium Stephen Jay Gould
Rage Wilbur Smith
Rainbow Six Tom Clancy
Raise the Titanic Clive Cussler
Red Storm Rising Tom Clancy
Rich Man Poor Man Irwin Shaw
Rip Van Winkle and the Legend of Sleepy Hollow Washington Irving
Riptide Douglas Preston et al
Rising Sun Michael Crichton
Risk David Ropeik
River God Wilbur Smith
Romeo and Juliet William Shakespeare
Roses are Red James Patterson
Running With Scissors Augusten Burroughs
Sacred Hunger Barry Unsworth
Safe Paola Antonelli
Sahara Clive Cussler
Salt Mark Kurlansky
Secret Prey John Sanford
Selected Poetry of Ogden Nash Ogden nash
Señor Vivo and the Coca Lord Louis de Bernieres
Seven Hundred Kisses: A Yellow Silk Book of Erotic Writings Lily Pond
Seventh Scroll Wilbur Smith
Shalimar the Clown Salman Rushdie
Shock Wave Clive Cussler
Shutter Island Dennis Lehane
Siddahrtha Hermann Hesse
Sierra Club Galen Rowell
Silas Marner George Eliot
Sitting on the Edge Paula Antonelli
Slaughtrhouse Five Kurt Vonnegut
Small Crimes Matthew Kneale
Snow Falling on Cedars David Guterson
Sophies Choice William Styron
Sound of Thunder Wilbur Smith
Sourcebook of Modern Furniture Jerryll Habegger
Sphere Michael Crichton
Stanley: The Impossible Life of Africa's Greatest Explorer Tim Jeal
Starck Taschen
State of Fear Michael Crichton
Steal This Book Abbey Hoffman
Stolen Lives Malika Oufkir
Strange Pilgrims Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Strong Medicine Arthur Hailey
Suite Francaise Irene Nemirovsky
Summerland Michael Chabon
Survive Peter Deleo
Survivors John B Letterman
Swid Powell Objects by Architects Annette Tapert
Swimming to Antarctica Lynne Cox
Taboo. Why Black Athletes Dominate Sports Jon Entine
Taking on the World Ellen MacArthur
Ten Days Jane Smiley
The Adventurers Harold Robbins
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer Mark Twain
The Alchemist Paulo Coelho
The Alchemy of Mind Diane Ackerman
The Alienist Caleb Carr
The Ancestor's Tale Richard Dawkins
The Angel of Darkness Caleb Carr
The Aquitaine Progression Robert Ludlum
The Archer's Tale Bernard Cornwell
The Art of Eating M.F.K. Fisher
The Art Thief Noah Charney
The Assault on Reason Al Gore
The Audacity of Hope Barack Obama
The Beatles Anthology Paul McCartney et al
The Bible Zondervan
The Birth of Venus Sarah Dunant
The Blind Assassin Margaret Atwood
The Blind Watchmaker Richadr Dawkins
The Bookseller of Kabul Asne Seierstad
The Bourne Identity Robert Ludlum
The Bourne Supremacy Robert Ludlum
The Boys from Brazil Ira Levin
The Bretheren John Grisham
The Burden of Proof Scott Turrow
The Call of the Wild Jack London
The Cardinal of the Kremlin Tom Clancy
The Carpetbaggers Harold Robbins
The Catcher in the Rye J.D.Salinger
The Cave Jose Samarago
The Chair Elizabeth Wilhide
The Chair Galen Cranz
The Chair Sarah Colombo
The Chamber John Grisham
The Cider House Rules John Irving
The City of Falling Angels John Berendt
The Clan of the Cave Bear Jean M. Auel
The Client John Grisham
The Coffee Trader David Liss
The Communist Manifesto Karl Marx
The Company Arabella Edge
The Complete Book of Running James Fixx
The Corrections Jonathan Franzen
The Crimson Petal and the White Michel Farber
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Mark Haddon
The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown
The Dangerous Summer Ernest Hemingway
The Dante Club Matthew Pearl
The Day of the Jackal Frederick Forsyth
The Death and Life of Great American Cities Jane Jacobs
The Death of Ivan Ilych Leo Tolstoy
The Debt to Pleasure John Lanchester
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Edward Gibbon
The Demon Haunted World Carl Sagan
The Devil in the White City Erik Larson
The Devil Wears Prada Lauren Weisberger
The Devil's Alternative Frederick Forsyth
The Diversity of Life Edward O. Wilson
The Dogs of War Frederick Forsyth
The Eagle Has Flown Jack Higgins
The Egyptologist Arthur Phillips
The Electric Acid Coolaid Test Tom Wolfe
The Emperor of Ocean Park Stephen L. Carter
The Emperor’s Children Claire Messud
The End of Faith Sam Harris
The English Patient Michael Ondatje
The Essential Lewis and Clark Landon Y. Jones
The Evolution of Useful Things Henry Petrosk
The Fatal Shore Robert Hughes
The Fencing Master Arturo Pérez-Reverte
The Fifth Horseman Larry Collins Dominique Lapierre
The Firm John Grisham
The First Man in Rome Colleen McCullough
The First Word Christine Kenneally
The Fist of God Frederick Forsyth
The Fixer Bernard Malamud
The Food Chronology James Trager
The Food of Love Anthony Capella
The Foreign Correspondent Alan Furst
The Fourth Hand John Irving
The Fourth Protocol Frederick Forsyth
The French Lieutenant's Woman John Fowles
The Geographer's Library Jon Fasman
The Gladiators Fik Meijer
The Glass Menagerie Tennessee Williams
The God Delusion Richard Dawkins
The God of Small Things Arundhati Roy
The Golden Spruce John Vaillant
The Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
The Great Train Robbery Michael Crichton
The Greatest inventions of the Past 2000 Years John Brockman
The Gulag Archipelago Alexander Solzhenitsyn
The Hammer of Eden Ken Follett
The Handmaid's Tale Margaret Atwood
The Historian Elizabeth Kostova
The Hobbit J.R.Tolkien
The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail Michael; Leigh
The Home Office Book Donna Paul
The Hotel New Hampshire John Irving
The Hound of the Baskervilles Arthur Conan Doyle
The Human Zoo Desmond Morris
The Hunt for Red October Tom Clancy
The Ice Limit Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child
The Immigrants Howard Fast
The Innocent Man John Grisham
The Intelligencer Leslie Silbert
The Interpretation of Murder Jed Rubenfeld
The Invisible Man Ralph Ellison
The Italian Boy Sarah Wise
The Italian Secretary Caleb Carr
The Jester James Patterson
The Journals of Lewis and Clark Meriwether Lewis
The Jungle Book Rudyard Kipling
The Key to Rebecca Ken Follett
The King of Torts John Grisham
The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini
The Known World Edward P. Jones
The Last Cato Matilda Asensi
The Last Juror John Grisham
The Last Presinct Patricia Cornwell
The Last Trout in Venice Doug Lansky
The Lincoln Lawyer Michael Connelly
The Lonely Sea and the Sky Sir Francis Chichester
The Lord of the Rings J.R.Tolkien
The Lost World Michael Crichton
The Making of the Atomic Bomb Richard Rhodes
The Maltese Falcon Dashiell Hammett
The Mammoth Hunters Jean M. Auel
The Man from St. Petersberg Ken Follett
The Man Who Refused to Die Barry Wynne
The Meaning of Evolution George Gaylord Simpsom
The Meaning of Night Michael Cox
The Measure of all Things Ken Alder
The Medium is the Message Marshall McLuhan
The Medusa and the Snail Lewis Thomas
The Meme Machine Susan Blackmore
The Merchant of Venice William Shakespeare
The Modern Chair Clement Meadmore
The Modigliani Scandal Ken Follett
The Moneychangers Arthur Hailey
The Mountains of my Life Walter Bonatti
The Murders in the Rue Morgue Edgar Allan Poe
The Naked Ape Desmond Morris
The Natural Superiority of Women Ashley Montagu
The Nautical Chart Arturo Pérez-Reverte
The Negotiator Frederick Forsyth
The New New Thing Michael Lewis
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Alexander McCall Smith
The Odessa File Frederick Forsyth
The Old Man and the Sea Ernest Hemmingway
The Only Way to Eternal Life Chaikou Bah
The Origin Irving Stone
The Parsifal Mosaic Robert Ludlum
The Partner John Grisham
The Pearl John Steinbeck
The Pelican Brief John Grisham
The Pencil Henry Petroski
The Perfect Storm Sebastian Junger
The Physician Noah Gordon
The Piano Shop on the Left Bank Thad Carhart
The Piano Tuner Daniel Mason
The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde
The Pillars of the Earth Ken Follett
The Plains of Passage Jean M. Auel
The Prince of Tides Pat Conroy
The Profet Kahil Gibran
The Proving Ground G.Bruce Knecht
The Rainmaker John Grisham
The Reader Bernhard Schlink
The Right Stuff Tom Wolfe
The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany William L. Shirer
The Road Cormac Mccarthy
The Royal Physician's Visit Per Olov Enquist
The Rule of Four Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason
The Runaway Jury John Grisham
The SAS Survival Handbook John Wiseman
The Satanic Verses Salman Rushdie
The Sea John Banville
The Seige of Krishnapur J.G.Farrell
The Selfish Gene Richard Dawkins
The Seventh Grade Reinhold Messner
The Shadow of the Wind Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Shipping News Annie Proux
The Sound and the Fury William Faulkner
The Source James A. Mitchner
The Stories of John Cheever John Cheever
The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde Robert Louis Stevenson
The Street Lawyer John Grisham
The Sum of all Fears Tom Clancy
The Summons John Grisham
The Sun Also Rises Ernest Hemingway
The Tempest Juan Manuel de Prada
The Terminal Man Michael Crichton
The Terrible Hours Peter Mass
The Testament John Grisham
The Third Translation Matt Bondurant
The Third Twin Ken Follett
The Thurber Carnival James Thurber
The Time Traveler's Wife Audrey Niffenegger
The Tipping Point Malcolm Gladwell
The Unprivate House Terence Riley
The Valley of the Horses Jean M. Auel
The Wall Jeff Long
The War of Don Emmanuel's Nether Parts Louis de Bernieres
The Witches of Eastwick John Updike
The Work of Charles and Ray Eames Donald Albrect et al
The World Jan Morris
The World According to Garp John Irving
The Worst Journey in the World Apsley Cherry-Garrard
Thonet Alexander Von Vegesack
Three Novels of Ancient Egypt Naguib Mahfouz
Through the Looking Glass Lewis Carroll
Thunderball Ian Fleming
Thunderhead Douglas Preston et al
Thunderstruck Erik Larson
Time to Die Wilbur Smith
Timeline Michael Crichton
To Build a Fire and Other Stories Jack London
To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
To Reach the Clouds Philippe Petit
Toddler Taming Christopher Green
Total Immersion Terry Laughlin
Touching the Void Joe Simpson
Treasure Clive Cussler
Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller
Tropic of Capricorn Henry Miller
Turn of the Century Kurt Anderson
Twentieth Century Furniture Philippe Gardner
Twentieth-Century Furniture Fiona and Keith Baker
Two Solitudes Hugh Maclennan
Ultimate High Göran Kropp
Ulysses James Joyce
Uncle Tom's Cabin Harriet Beecher Stowe
Under the Banner of Heaven Jon Krakauer
Under the Tuscan Sun Frances Mayes
Understanding Media Marshall McLuhan
Un-Private House Terence Riley
Vixen 03 Clive Cussler
Wake Up Sir! Jonathan Ames
Walden Two B.F.Skinner
Water for Elephants Sara Gruen
Wheels Arthur Hailey
Where the River Flows Aimée Laberge
White Death Clive Cussler
White Fang Jack London
Whiteout Ken Follett
Who Moved the Stone Frank Morison
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf Edward Albee
Wind Sand and Stars Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Wine and War Don and Petie Kladstrup
Without Remorse Tom Clancy
Women in Love D.H.Lawrence
World Design Uta Abendroth
Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte
Year of Wonders Geraldine Brooks
Zinn and the Art of Road Bike Maintenance Lennard Zinn

Joseph Froncioni

Delinquent Catharsis

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-10-06T06:30:47-03:00

The shame that is Marion Jones.

So I’m looking at a website called KidsRunning.com with the tagline “Get fit. Have fun. Stay healthy.” The site is part of Runner’s World. This photo is on the front page:

Under the photo is a short essay by Shizuka, a little girl runner from Japan who obviously idolizes Marion Jones. Shizuka states that she was inspired by Marion's high level of energy and her beautiful smile. Now tell me, who will break the bad news to Shizuka and all the other kids who look up to Marion Jones? How do you explain to a kid that behind that beautiful smile is a cheater who takes drugs and has no shame? What does it do to a kid to be told that the person they admire most is a bad person?
I liked Marion Jones. She has an honest, wholesome face, crooked teeth and all. Deep inside, I was hoping she was clean. How many times did she look straight into the lens and state she did not dope? Read some of these Marion quotes:

"You forget that sometimes people are out there to get you - they don't even have a reason."
"Was I married to C J Hunter, who tested positive? Sure."
"Nobody has ever said anything about Marion Jones every using performance-enhancing drugs and they never will.
"I'm for a drug-free sport and always will be."
"I will continue to express the fact I am for a drug-free sport and always will be."
"I was going to get it done as best as possible, enjoy the moment and then we would deal with all of the accusations after the Games."
"I think the people who have really followed my career from the time I was seven years old can see my steady progress and see the type of person and athlete I am."
"I met Mr. Conte a number of years ago, and we had a conversation or two. Did our conversation involve talking about any performance-enhancing drugs? No."
"Have I ever taken THG? No."
“But I don't believe in guilt by association.”

We all need role models and heroes to inspire us. Marion Jones was one of them. I consider it a symptom of deep societal pathology that cheating has become so widespread and that those we admire would stoop so low to deceive us. Can we ever watch our sports heroes again without asking ourselves if their performances are artificially enhanced?
I’ve just watched Marion Jones’ statement after she pleaded guilty in federal court today and I must say that Lance and Floyd and all the other lying, cheating skumbags could learn a thing or two from her about dignity. Marion Jones has at least shown the world that she has a conscience and that she understands the concept of remorse. Here is her catharsis:

"Making these false statements to federal agents was an incredibly stupid thing for me to do, and I am responsible fully for my actions. I have no one to blame but myself for what I've done. To you, my fans, including my young supporters, the United States Track & Field Association, my closest friends, my attorneys, and the most classy family a person could ever hope for, mainly my mother, my husband, my children, my brother and his family, my uncle and the rest of my extended family, I want you to know that I have been dishonest, and you the have the right to be angry with me. I have let them down. I have let my country down. And I have let myself down. I recognize that by saying that I'm deeply sorry, it might not be enough and sufficient to address the pain and the hurt that I have caused you. Therefore, I want to ask for your forgiveness for my actions, and I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I have asked Almighty God for my forgiveness. Having said this and because of my actions, I am retiring from the sport of track and field, a sport that I deeply love. I promise that these events will be used to make the lives of many people improve. That by making the wrong choices and bad decisions can be disastrous. I want to thank you all for your time."

It is such a rarity to see an athlete admit to cheating that one is tempted to show sympathy and understanding when it does happen. Marion is very likely to be stripped of all five medals she won in Sydney. The IOC has a statute-of-limitations rule whereby it can go back eight years to strip medals and nullify results. In Marion’s case, this would include the 2000 Sydney Olympics, where she won gold in the 100 meters, 200 meters and 1,600-meter relay and bronze in the long jump and 400-meter relay. The standings would normally be changed, and the second-place finisher would move up to gold. However, Katerina Thanou, the Greek sprinter who finished second in the 100, failed to show up for a drug test on the eve of the 2004 Games. She was later suspended for two years. That would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. How do we clean up this mess? Any ideas?

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 11

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-10-04T21:13:06-03:00

The Wishbone Chair.

I did not own a single piece of Scandinavian furniture until last month and now that I think of it, I find that quite unbelievable. After all, Scandinavians dominated the world of design in the first half of the 20th Century and I remember clearly that through much of my youth, I was surrounded by Scandinavian furniture. Come to think of it, I’m sure that a few of my aunts and uncles still have original Scandinavian teak dining chairs, tables and sideboards in excellent condition; I should pop ‘round and give them a closer look to see if there are any treasures to be had.
I wasn’t out to buy a chair when I walked into Tampas, a relatively new design shop on Laurier Street in Montreal. Honest. The store has an eclectic range of items from a wide variety of designers and I must say I found it a welcome change from the regular Montreal design stalwarts. And then, casually strolling through the store, it caught my eye: Hans Wegner’s Wishbone Chair. This is a chair I was very familiar with and it is certainly a classic but somehow I had never considered adding it to my collection. Maybe my tastes are changing as I get older or maybe they’re just getting more refined. My Danish architect friend Peter Schionning would surely say it is the latter. I bought the chair.
The Wishbone Chair is also known as the Y-Chair as well as CH-24, its production code. It was designed by Hans J Wegner in 1949 and put into production by Carl Hansen & Son in 1950. Apart from his Round Chair, used during the CBS televised presidential debates between John F Kennedy and Richard M Nixon in 1960, the Wishbone Chair is Wegner’s most famous.
“A chair is to have no backside,” Wegner said. “It should be beautiful from all sides and angles.” Aside from the bit about the backside, the same can be said about a woman of course. All jest aside though, this is one sexy chair. Just have a look at the back legs: variable diameter from top to bottom and curves that seem to wrap around your waist. The wishbone-shaped backrest is a thing of beauty and is topped with a delicate semicircular rail. The seat is woven papercord. My chair is beech but it is also available in maple, ash, oak, cherry and walnut.
This chair is not about innovative materials or new technology. Nope. This chair is about craftsmanship. While his contemporaries, Eames, Nelson and Saarinen led the way in the field of plastics, tubular metal and advanced molding techniques, Wegner along with his fellow Danes Jacobson, Kjaeholm and Juhl used his skills as a cabinetmaker and joiner to expand the limits of simple, handcrafted wood furniture. This is a light chair but it’s built to last. It is a modern chair with hints of Eastern influence. It yields no hints that it was conceived more than half a century ago. Describing his furniture in an article for the New York Times, Paola Antonelli, curator of architecture and design at the Museum of Modern Art in New York put it this way: “First and foremost, it’s comfortable, and saying that it’s comfortable before saying it’s beautiful is really high praise, because the truth is that it’s incredibly elegant.”
Alas, while the chair lives on, it’s designer, Hans Wegner, is no longer. Wegner passed away in Copenhagen on January 26 2007. He was 92. Strange coincidence that I should acquire my first Wegner chair the year he dies.

(All photos by Søren Larsen.)

Joseph Froncioni

Splendid Glyphs

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-09-04T05:51:00-03:00

The evolution of language.

You may have noticed this book in the sidebar (as if anyone is interested in what I read) and I recommend it highly if you have any interest in the evolution of language. I would just take a moment however to point out the sequence of glyphs that serves as cover art. Can you think of a better way to symbolize the evolution of language? Fantastic!

Joseph Froncioni

Index of Democracy

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-09-03T09:54:38-03:00

From THE ECONOMIST.

A well functioning democracy conforms to Plato’s concept of “ruled by the governed”. The exact definition, however, is still the subject of academic debate; application around the world varies immensely.
The ECONOMIST’s Intelligence Unit has developed an index of democracy, which is, by its own description, “thick”. Its newly published 2007 Democracy Index makes fascinating reading and provides an informative snapshot of the state of freedom and liberty in the world today. Some of the country rankings are predictable; others are a surprise. The table below lists countries that rated best and worst on the democracy index.

The full report is well worth reading and can be found here as a pdf document. The Methodology section on page 8 is tedious but is a testament to the thoroughness of the index. Thick indeed.
America ranks 17th on the list and it is my prediction that although it is very likely to remain on the list as a full democracy in future editions of this report, it may tumble further down and go below a score of 8.0.

Joseph Froncioni

Africa Photo Album

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-30T18:30:49-03:00

A small collection of photos entitled AFRICA can be found in the left hand column of on this page. The photos in this album were taken during our recent trip to South Africa. In a very limited way, they illustrate the myriad emotions this country can evoke from the outsider. South Africa has on offer the very best that money can buy but it serves it up with the echo of the evil that was apartheid still lingering in the background. There is, however, optimism in the air; there is every expectation that the very heart of this country, its people, will beat again.
You may already know that yesterday, a 3 meter bronze statue of Nelson Mandela was unveiled in London’s Parliament Square. It joins the effigies of 3 other great leaders: Winston Churchill, Benjamin Disraeli and Abraham Lincoln. Mandela is the diamond that formed in the fire of apartheid. He represents the very best we can aspire to become. He is a gift to humanity. Long live Madiba!

Joseph Froncioni

Africa Journal 5

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-20T08:49:29-03:00

August 16 2007

We drive to Kruger Mpumalanga International Airport where we meet up with our next bush pilot, this one from Chilli Pepper Charter if you can believe it. We go through the nearly none-existent security check and walk to our plane, a tiny single engine Cessna. Josée and the kids are worried but I reassure them the Cessna is a very reliable craft; I slept at a Holiday Inn last night. The flight is uneventful except for a few bumps. We land in Kruger Park where we are met by Eddy, the guy who will be our tracker for the next 4 days.
Eddy drives us to the lodge in a brand new Land Rover and we all agree that the ride is much smoother that the Land Cruiser we rode around in at Kwandwe; you have to understand that the roads are about as rough as you can imagine and that these vehicles are in 4-wheel-drive at all times.
Ivory Lodge on the Sabie River is the most beautiful place we have ever seen. Our accommodation consists of 2 separate glass-walled rooms: living room and bedroom/ensuite. There is a central balcony with a splash-pool and this overlooks the Sabie River where predators and prey are seen daily. There is also an outdoor shower. We are advised not to use either the outdoor shower or the splash-pool after dark. We also are warned against leaving any shiny objects around, as the monkeys will steal them. The photos don’t quite do it justice but they’re probably better than a lengthy description.

August 17 2007

The routine here is similar to Kwandwe except that the wake-up call is at 5:30AM. At 5:45, our butler Johannes rattles the hollow calabash just outside our entrance indicating that he has placed our coffee and biscottis in the dumb-waiter that opens into our living room. We scarf this down and are sitting in the Land Rover ready to go at 6AM. The drives here are 3 hours each for a total of 6 hours a day. We like this much better than the 8 hour a day at Kwandwe.
The guides and the trackers here converse in the Shangaan dialect called Tsonga and they seem to enjoy keeping us in the dark until we get to the sighting. However, we quickly pick-up some key words (spelling may not be correct): mafazi – female, madata – male, ndlopfu – elephant, nghala– lion, ingwe – leopard, quazi – area or road.
The animal sightings here are fantastic and we see the big five on the very first day. By the way, do you know what the big five are and why they are so designated? The big five are: elephant, buffalo, leopard, lion and rhino. These are called the big five because they were the most dangerous to hunt. The most elusive animal of all, the leopard, seems to be everywhere. Not only do we see this cat but we get front row seats, and I mean like less that 2 meters away, while a big male is mating with not one but 2 females! (One after the other of course.) Mating for the leopard is a violent act. The male repeatedly emits a deep growl that scares the poop out of us. These animals are not bothered at all by the vehicle or its occupants and they seem to ignore us altogether even during the serious business of mating.

August 18 – 19

Our last 2 days at Ivory Lodge. Animals are everywhere. We see hippo, zebra, several types of antelopes and huge herds of elephants.
One day, we’re driving along when we meet a large herd of elephant crossing the path. There were large females and males as well as quite a number of young ones. All of a sudden, a very large male in must turns suddenly and charges us. You can spot a male in must because they secrete from the temporal glands just in back of the eyes and also pee nearly constantly accumulating a crystalloid crusty deposit near the end of the penis (not very pretty). Here is a photo of a male in must. Fortunately, the guides have a deep understanding of animal behavior and most often anticipate aggressive behavior and start taking appropriate evasive action sooner rather than later. So it was that we had just started to turn the vehicle around when the charge began. Away we went down the path at 30 – 40 kph. The elephant chased us for at least 2 minutes: I’m glad we were not on foot because we could not have outrun it. Here's that elephant running after us.

Another exciting activity we experienced is the walking safari. You get out of the vehicle with the guide and explore…sticking very close to the guide. Very scary. The guide has his rifle with him at all times and he told me it’s not to scare the animals away; it’s to kill them if they make any threatening advance.

Most of the animals react very passively to the vehicles headlights at night. They do not seem to mind the lights and so every evening on the way back to the lodge, the tracker shines a spotlight left and right and spots various animals including lions and other predators. The only animal that does not appreciate lights at night is the elephant. One night on the way home, we were surrounded by a herd of elephants. Our guide tried to proceed but soon realized that the elephants were not happy. So, he cuts the engine and switches off the lights and we wait. I have to tell you we were scared to death. Some of the males mock-charged us and came as close as 2 meters. The herd numbered 30 - 40 and they make a hell of a racket as they plow their way through the vegetation knocking down trees and trumpeting. Elephants also communicate with each other with a very low frequency rumble that you can feel in your chest. We were in that situation for about 15 minutes and we wanted to cry. Most of us held out breaths for most of that time. Finally, our guide felt it was safe to get moving and so we drove to the lodge and headed straight to the bar.
I'll end with some photos.

Cheers and Hakuna Matata.

Joseph Froncioni

Africa Journal 4

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-20T06:35:59-03:00

(Sorry folks but I have not had access to Internet since August 10.)

August 10 2007

There is a low sitting over the area and we are seeing squalls of rain and hail. It’s time for a wine tasting. We head for Glen Carlou and their ZEN restaurant. We have a lunch reservation for 1PM. Before lunch, we opt for the full tasting: 3 whites and 5 reds. We then have lunch WITH wine. We’re bad.
With the weather not letting up, we decide on a movie, hot chocolate and cookies in our room. We choose OUT OF AFRICA with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford…how appropriate. The movie dates from 1985, the year before Alex was born. Remember, “I haahd aah faahrm een Aahfrikaah…”.? This was just the right film to get us into the mood for the next leg of our trip.

August 11, 2007

We arrive in Port Elizabeth where we are met by Etienne le Roux, the guy who will fly us to Kwandwe private game reserve on the Great Fish River. The plane is a 6-seater Piper Seneca that looks a little worse for wear. We soon find out though that the pilot is no slouch. During the flight, Etienne hands us a copy of Aviation Magazine in which an article describes him as “dentist, entrepreneur, raconteur and bush pilot”. Turns out he was the pilot who did all the flying in the film “Blood Diamond”. There are photos of him in full “rough, tough guy” makeup and beard standing with Leonardo DiCaprio. Cool.
The 25-minute flight ends with a remarkably smooth landing on a crude dirt runway. Etienne tells us that the previous week, he had to abort the landing because there was a rhino on the runway. “Indy!!!!”

We are driven to a colonial era homestead that serves as the reception area. There is a huge spread of food laid out for us in case we’re hungry. We’re not really hungry but we eat anyway because the offerings are so inviting: roasted vegetables, biltong, fresh bread, fruits and champagne all laid out in a rustic safari style.

We are asked if we would like to go out on a safari even before seeing our accommodation and we agree. One of the guides is located and we are driven out to him. The safari vehicle is an amazingly tough Land Cruiser that appears indestructible. Out first drive into the African wild is unbelievable. Within half an hour, we start seeing some of the animals we came here to see: cheetah, kudu, springbok, impala, and caracal.

It is 6:30PM and the sun has dipped below the horizon. Phil, our guide and the tracker, Dali, find a safe place to stop (Beats me how they can consider it safe when we’ve just been observing a pride of lions but I guess these guys know what they’re doing.) In no time at all, they set up a small table complete with white linen. It’s cocktail time! Scotch, gin and tonic, white and red wine and savory snacks all served-up in near pitch darkness with only the stars to give us light. Fantastic!
We finally get into camp at 7:30PM. The mercury has plummeted down to 45° F and we are frozen. The staff welcomes us and we are shown to our huts, #1 for the kids and #2 for us. Now get this: 30 meters separate our huts and we are 500 meters from the main house. We are told in no uncertain terms that under no circumstance are we to venture outside our huts after dark. If for any reason we need to go from one hut to the other of from a hut to the main house, we must call for a security guard to accompany us, no exceptions. One day prior to our arrival, a pride of lions strolled across the deck of the kids’ hut! We’ll be following the rules.
Here’s the daily routine: A security guard knocks on our door for a 6AM wake-up. Shower, dress warmly and get the camera gear ready. The head ranger walks the path from the main house to the huts and gives the all clear. At 6:30AM, we walk to the main house as a family with the gross misconception that there is safety in numbers. Quick coffee and plan the strategy for the morning’s safari. In the vehicle at 7AM. We stop in the bush at 9:30 or 10AM for a coffee or hot chocolate. Continue on safari until about 11:30AM when its time for brunch at the main house. After brunch, read, sleep, download photos. Then, shower in the outdoor shower…great feeling except that you always have to keep a lookout for monkeys or worse. Meet up at the main house at 2:30PM for tea, coffee and sweets. Leave for afternoon safari. Stop at 6:30 for scary drinks in the dark. Get back to camp at 7:00PM and get escorted to hut by security guard. Escort back to main house for drinks at 7:30PM followed by dinner at 8PM. Escort back to hut at 10:30. Sleep like a log.

August 12 - 13 2007

Same routine with lots of animal sightings (photos follow).
I do have to mention this one incident, thought, that we won’t soon forget. Phil beat the guide at the old Afrikaans game of Bokdrol Spoeg. Yup, a Bermudian teenager beats a born and bred South African safari guide at his own game. Impressed? Oh, that’s right, you probably don’t know what the hell Bokdrol Spoeg is right? Well it’s a simple game all the boys and men out here play out in the bush. It goes like this: you’re walking along in the bush when you come upon a kudu midden, you know, a pile of kudu shit. Now these little droppings are firm and black and look very much like chocolate-coated peanuts. Now you carefully select a very firm and perfectly shaped one and your opponent does likewise. You then draw a line in the sand, stand behind the line, pop the dropping into your mouth and have a dung-spitting contest. I kid you not. Phil the guide challenged our Phil who was man enough to take him on. Phil won! We’re so proud of him…and he didn’t puke! Actually, the droppings contain only grass since kudu are vegetarian. Phil says they’re tasteless. We’re all taking his word for it.

Try filling in the blanks here. I’ll give you the first one.

A pride of lions
A _____ rhinoceroses.
A _______ of giraffes.
A ____ of elephants.
A ____ of hyena.
A _____ of warthogs.
A ________ of ducks.
A ______ of wild dog pups.
A ______ of crows.
A ______ of zebra.
A ______ of frogs.
A _____ of baboon.
A ____ of snipe.
A ____ of turtles.
A _______ of ants.
A _____ of foxes.
A ____ of hippo.
A ______ of locusts.
A ____ of leopards.
A __________ of owls.
A ____ of buffalo.

The answers: crash, journey, herd, clan, drift, paddling, litter, murder, dazzle, chorus, troop, walk, bale, colony, skulk, raft, plague, leap, parliament, herd. Our guide knew most of them.
Here are some photos:

August 14 - 15 2007

One last early morning game drive where we finally see giraffe and more elephant.
Pack-up and get driven to the landing strip where Etienne le Roux and his Piper twin-engine are waiting for us. It’s a beautiful day with perfect flying conditions. It’s Alex’s turn to be in the copilot seat. We make a perfect take-off and level off at 5,000 feet. It’s only at that point that we notice Alex is at the controls! Etienne is keeping a close eye on her of course but Alex is flying the bloody plane! Phil who is a little nervous about flying anyway freaks-out. Alex does well, though, and manages to keep the plane on a steady course. However, when Port Elizabeth Airport comes into view, we realize that Etienne intends Alex to stay at the helm for landing. He’s there all the time helping her but Alex brings down the plane without incident. But there is an incident. As we taxi along the runway, the right tire blows out and the plane comes to an awkward stop. We have a tight connection and we find ourselves in the middle of the runway with our luggage. With help from Etienne, we lug everything to the terminal and make our flight.

We now spent 2 nights at Cybele Forest Lodge and Spa near White River in Mpumalanga province. We’re here to rest between the 2 safaris but we can’t resist doing a little visiting in our 4-wheel-drive vehicle. We visit Blyde River Canyon in the lowveld. When the girls get fed up, we drop them off at the lodge and Phil and I go off in the vehicle and try to get into trouble on some rough logging roads. Phil now not only knows how to drive standard but can also hill-climb.

Joseph Froncioni

AFRICA JOURNAL 3

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-10T06:15:17-03:00

August 5 2007

Our home for the next 3 days is The Cellars-Hohenort in Constantia on the eastern slopes of Table Mountain. We’re here because the manager is Bailli Délégué of the SA Chaîne des Rôtisseurs and a friend of Josée’s. We’ve made the right choice as the place is spectacular and the food divine. Every day, we are treated to flights of Western Cape wine that just seem to appear on our table complinents of the house. Love traveling with my wife.

August 6 2007

The weather today is horrible. The climate here is Mediterranean and there are 4 well-defined seasons. Days like today are common in winter with cold fronts sweeping across the Atlantic and slamming the Cape peninsula with rain and the north-westerly gales. This explains why early explorers referred to it as the Cape of Storms.

In spite of the bad weather, we decide to drive down to Cape Point and the very famous Cape of Good Hope (Kaap die Goeie Hoop in Afrikaans). Cape of Good Hope is often mistaken as being the southern most tip of Africa and the place where the Atlantic and the Indian Oceans meet. It is neither of these as this geographical distinction goes to Cape Agulhas about 150km to the southwest. This does not, however, diminish the historical importance of this point of land. Rounding the Cape for past and present mariners has always meant passing Cape of Good Hope, a treacherous and dramatic affair especially in the days of old. Philippe and Alex were especially thrilled to visit a place they had heard so much about in their studies.
The area around The Cape is a nature preserve. The landscape is rocky and the vegetation sparse. In spite of this, there is quite a variety of fauna including ostriches, antelopes and baboons. Regarding the last of these, there are warnings everywhere about the sometimes aggressive and always devious nature of these cousins of ours. They will steal and destroy anything they can get their hands of and will attack viciously when teased or threatened.

August 7 2007

We’re not happy. Try as we might, we are unsuccessful at getting passage to Robben Island where Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years. This has become a must-see for visitors to Cape Town and our agent has forgotten to tell us that advance booking is essential. Nelson Mandela is referred to as Madiba here in South Africa. This is a reverential term of address reserved for tribal elders and also means Father of our Nation.
After a visit of the Waterfront, we made our way to Table Mountain. Unfortunately, most of this 1,086 m landmark was in the clouds today so visibility was nil to poor. The cable car ride to the top is well worth is. The mountain can also be hiked or climbed but we had already ruled this out as a young American doctor had fallen to his death doing just this 24 hours previously.

Have you ever heard the expression “Cape Malay”? We had not either. It refers to a people, their culture and their cuisine unique to the Western Cape and The Cellars has one of the best Cape Malay restaurants in the region.
In the 17th century, the Dutch East India Company started bringing in slaves from India and Malaysia. Mostly Muslim, the Malays settled in the Western Cape region and now form a distinct and thriving ethnic community here. Cape Malay cuisine is noted for its mild spice and gentle aromatic character. The food is aromatic and flavorful and incorporates the full pallet of Indonesian spices including cardamom, coriander, cumin, cloves, nutmeg, mace, tumeric and chillies. This is the low season for tourism here and so we got the chef’s full attention as we were the only table in the restaurant.
Chef Martha Willams is an expert in Cape Malay cuisine having studied under Cass Abrahams, the foremost authority on Cape Malay cuisine. Here is some of what we ate: Smoor Snoek, a braised local fish (Smoor means braised) The photo of fresh snoek helps explain the local expression, “Slat my dood met ‘n pap snoek!” Translation: “Hit me dead with a flabby snoek!”

This was followed by tomato bredie (Afrikaans for stew and consisting of lamb knuckles slowly cooked in tomato with flavors of cardamom), mild Cape Malay chicken currie (seasoned with cumin, tumeric, fennel seads and finished with natural yoghurt), Vegetable breyani, Dhall curry with 3 types of lentils. Dessert: Boeber (a warm milk and lockshen pudding with almonds, cinnamon and rosewater), malva pudding, caramel baked meringue and finally Koeksisters (sweet braided donut).

August 8 2007

SHARK!!
Today, we cage dive with the Great White Shark and we’re all a bit apprehensive. The guide picks us up in Cape Town early in the morning and we are driven 2 hours south to Ganasbaai just past Hermanus. After a safety briefing, we boat out to an area called “Shark Alley”. This is where the Great White hangs out waiting for a seal from the neighboring breeding ground to have a lapse of attention….or for a dumb tourist to stick out a pale white limb.
The deckhands start chumming. They repeatedly cast out a tuna head. The dinner bell has rung and it’s time to present the main course…us! The water is cold. Some us shiver but that’s before going in. We don wetsuits and we wonder if it’s ok to pee in them. The cage is lowered over the side and the first pair step inside. That would be Alex and Phil. A 2 meter monster makes his presence known and the kids submerge. They’re thrilled! The Great White brushes the cage and lunges at the tuna head. I’m not sure if I’m more scared about my 2 kids being in there or that my turn is next.

The video that follows was shot by Phil while Josée and I were in the cage. I’m the one with no hood on and Josée is to my right with a hood on. The Great White you see is 3 meters long. Notice my hands grasping the cage until the dive master tells me to pull them in. (Note: The video may take a little while to download but it’s well worth it. Double click on the image to start the video.)

Josée has already stated that she may not have the guts to get into the cage. However, when the time comes, she hops right in with no hesitation whatsoever. I’m right there beside her and the adrenalin starts flowing as the largest beast of the day, a 3 meter Great White swims right for the cage only to veer off at the last moment. That’s when I felt someone tap me on the head. It was the dive-master pointing out that I am grasping the cage bars and that I should pull my hands in NOW. Gulp! Back on deck, we four hug and congratulate each other for having done it.
We get back to our hotel at 9PM exhausted.

August 9 2007

Today, we’ve made our way to Franschhoek nestled in the heart of the wine region. We’ll be spending 2 nights at a boutique hotel called Mont Rochelle before heading off to our first safari. Mont Rochelle is a working vineyard; grapes have been growing on the property since the early 1700s. The hotel has 22 bedrooms. The entire property underwent extensive renovations after a major fire destroyed much of the hotel and restaurant 18 months ago. The interiors are jaw-dropping. The service is impeccable. Unfortunately, the weather is miserable so we’re taking the opportunity to…well…do some more eating and drinking.

Joseph Froncioni

Africa Journal 2

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-06T11:44:31-03:00

August 2 2007

Too much emotion for 24 hours; Africa is already tugging at our heartstrings. Where to begin?
First, let me tell you about our one and only evening at Illyria House. After helping ourselves to the exotic hors d’oeuvres with porcupine quills - much nicer than toothpicks, I must say - we were invited to gather round the grand piano for a not quite impromptu piano concert by Brian Wallick, world class pianist and friend of the owners. Brian was the Gold Medalist at the Vladimir Horowitz International Piano Competition in Kiev. His performance was outstanding and included pieces by Mozart and Schubert. The most memorable piece however and the one that earned him an emotional standing ovation was a little known and unwritten (Unpublished? Brian tells us that Horowitz did not put this composition to paper as he did not want it copied.) transcription of one of Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody’s by Vladimir Horowitz.

August 3 2007

Our departure from Illyria House, I think, will certainly always be among our fondest memories of Africa. Waiting for us at the front gate was the entire staff of the house and we were all four reduced to tears when these beautiful people broke into Zulu a cappella to wish us adieu. Never have we been so touched by the beauty of spontaneous and heartfelt song. Always in our hearts will these voices reside.
In 1989, Rohan Vos decided he wanted a railroad and so Rovos Rail was born. This is no ordinary railroad. All of the cars are vintage and have been lovingly restored. Mr. Vos likes to greet each passenger personally and so we got to meet this very impressive man at Rovos Rail’s private station in Capital Park, Pretoria. The station is colonial in style and stately in manner. Champagne is offered along with a warm welcome as the porters take the luggage away. The locomotive, Pride of Africa, waits patiently at the platform with the steady release of steam obscuring its massive wheels. I feel like we are getting on the Hogwarts Express.

We are assigned the McAlpine and Shepherd suites in car #4510, the KONINGSBERG. The luxury is slightly off-putting: enormous double bed, mahogany paneling, in-floor heating, en suite WC and shower. Everything is included except French champagne and caviar. Need your laundry done? No problem. Want a bottle of Port and a cheese board at midnight? Done.
Vos makes the rules: Cell phones and computers are forbidden in the public areas of the train. Jacket and tie are mandatory in the evening. Vos also suggests “a wee bit more of your favorite tipple” as a sleeping aid at night. It works for me.

There are 41 passengers aboard hailing from the following countries: Italy, South Africa, USA, UK, Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland and of course Bermuda. The train manager is Peter Winterbottom, a man who gives the impression of having born for the job.
Our Journey today has taken us from Pretoria to Christiana, a total of approximately 450km. The shake, rattle and roll of the train takes some getting used to but you get your “train legs” after the first day, and so much so that when you step off the train, the ground seems to move underfoot. African railroads have a gauge of only 3’6” compared to Europe and North America’s 4’8 1/2” and this accounts for the rougher ride.
Dinner this evening: Smoked ostrich carpaccio with tempura vegetables; carrot and ginger soup; springbok loin with braised prunes and red wine and ginger sauce; dark chocolate sponge Africana with chocolate sauce; cheese board. The wine selection is extensive and includes white, rosé, red, dessert, port and champagne. Phil and Alex made quite a dent in it tonight as they were at it till the wee hours with the owner’s daughter Tiffany and her boyfriend Brandon. I somehow doubt we’ll be seeing them at breakfast tomorrow morning.

August 4 2007

We’re just not used to the kind of abject poverty that exists here in Africa. As our train slows down at a siding, old women and scruffy barefoot children with hands outstretched yell at us in their tribal dialect. Behind them are the shantytowns where they live. The contrast between them and us is difficult to take. It should not be so; it’s not right; I feel guilty; I want to do something to make it right; I can’t enjoy all this decadent luxury while they watch. The train pulls away leaving the shanty behind. We have a deep discussion about poverty and what can be done to fix it…over a five-course dinner. Unfair.

The train pulls in at Kimberley, the center of Africa’s diamond mining. The discovery of a diamond “pipe” on Mr. de Beers’ farm in 1871 triggered the diamond rush here. In 1888, Cecil John Rhodes became the chairman of the newly formed De Beers Consolidated Diamond Mines, one of the world’s oldest monopolies and one that has nearly absolute control of the world’s diamond trade.

The visitors’ center in Kimberly is well worth seeing. The star attraction here is the Big Hole, the largest hole in the world dug entirely by manual labour…pick and shovel! It is estimated that between 1871 and 1914, 28 million tones of rock and earth were removed from this site yielding an estimated 3 tonnes (14.5 million carats) of diamonds. It has a surface area of 17 hectares and a depth of 800 meters.
Dinner this evening: Salmon blini tower with herb greens and tzatziki sauce; butternut and mango soup; roasted quails with sesame seeds and Soya sauce OR feta and peppadew agnelotti with puttanesca sauce; warm sticky ginger pudding with ginger syrup; cheese board. Lots of wine and port.

August 5 2007

Up early this morning. We are now well and truly in the Great Karoo, South Africa’s arid interior plateau. The average elevation is 1200m. Springbok are everywhere. At 8AM, the train slows to a stop about 5km from Matjiesfontein to let a bunch of us out. The temperature hovers around 0° C and ice covers some of the shallow ponds. We hike to Matjiesfontein to reboard for the final leg to Cape Town.
I have not mentioned the lunches yet. These are nearly as elaborate as the dinners and are served at 1PM sharp. Today’s lunch is traditional South African: Melon, mint and feta salad; Traditional South African Bobotie with yellow rice (originally made with dog or goat meat but this version used beef, thankfully); cinnamon milk tart with traditional Koeksisters. Wine.
Our journey ends at Platform 24 in Cape Town and has taken us a total of 1595km.

Joseph Froncioni

Africa Journal 1

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-08-02T13:28:37-03:00

August 3 2007

Our ancestors left this continent a ragtag band and on foot some 50,000 years ago; we’ve just returned on a Boeing 747. This is where we come from. We’re home.
It’s winter in the southern hemisphere but Johannesburg has greeted us with a clear blue sky and 22°C temperature. Our stay there, however, is short-lived as we are driven directly from the airport to Pretoria, known locally as Jacaranda City. Our resting place for the night will be Illyria House, a secluded grand mansion hidden away in a sculptured garden where time seems to have stopped. We were the only guests here this morning and so we were the recipients of extra special pampering by the butler Johann. Sensing we were a little peckish around noontime, Johann suggested a salad of lettuce and warm curried chicken which he presented under silver serving bells on the grand veranda right out of Gone With the Wind. Two bottles of Western Cape Chardonnay completed the meal, a very special one indeed as it was our first one in Africa.
Oh and did I forget to mention the ducks…they are part of Illyria House and occasionally appear on the menu.
Here are a few photos taken at Illyria House.

Joseph Froncioni

Tour de Farce

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-07-22T12:05:45-03:00

Cheating in cycling.

I’ve had it. I love cycling but the sport has become so dirty I just can’t take it any more. The Tour de France is now nothing more than a showcase of tricks and scientific sleight-of-hand for a bunch of lying money-hungry hairless prima donnas. A farce is what it is.
Consider the one-balled boy wonder Lance Armstrong. The man is diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer with metastases to his brain, abdomen and lungs, has surgery and chemotherapy and makes a miraculous recovery. He then goes on to win what is arguably the dirtiest sport on the planet not once but 7 consecutive times. He beats a handful of champions who now admit they were doping …and he claims he was clean. And I believe in fairy tales. Give me a break! I know a feel-good story is great for the morale and god knows Americans need a super-hero in their midst considering the state of their late great nation. The bad news is that miracles don’t happen and fairy tales are for kids. Grow up.
And then you get the man who has taken denial to new heights. Floyd Landis, the new American hero who would take the torch from his countryman Lance Armstrong and go on to win the 2006 Tour de France. In stage 17 of that race and after “bonking” in stage 16 falling from 1st overall to 11th, the man girds his loins and in a demonstration of shear courage explodes into a 120 km solo breakaway attack that many have called "one of the most epic days of cycling ever seen." Imagine that. Now, consider that at the time of this amazing athletic feat, Landis’s right hip was undergoing avascular necrosis; the femoral head of his right hip was crumbling, literally. To quote the man himself (you might shed a tear here) "It's bad, it's grinding, it's bone rubbing on bone. Sometimes it's a sharp pain. When I pedal and walk, it comes and goes, but mostly it's an ache, like an arthritis pain. It aches down my leg into my knee. The morning is the best time, it doesn't hurt too much. But when I walk it hurts, when I ride it hurts. Most of the time it doesn't keep me awake, but there are nights that it does." He wasn’t lying. I saw his x-ray and most of my patients who have an x-ray like his can’t walk to the corner store, never mind compete in a world-class event.
Then, a doping control shows him to have a testosterone/epitestosterone ration of 11:1. The maximum allowable is 4:1. Oh, and the samples also tested positive for synthetic testosterone. So what does our American hero do? Denies, denies, denies of course, and then hires the best lawyers money can buy: José Maria Buxeda of Spain who defended Roberto Heras when he was suspended for two years after testing positive for EPO and Howard L. Jacobs of the United States, the guy who defended 2 of the most famous cheaters in American sport, cyclist Tyler Hamilton and sprinter Tim Montgomery. Nice. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.
In this year’s Tour, you have Michael Rasmussen, the current leader. He’s been excluded from September's world cycling championships and the Olympic Games in 2008 by the Danish Cycling Union for dodging doping controls…but he claims he’s clean. I have to stop before I puke.
And on and on it goes. The public service German television channel has dropped its coverage of the Tour stating, "We signed a broadcasting contract for a sporting event, not a show demonstrating the performances of the pharmaceutical industry."

These are some of the reasons I have not watched one second of this year’s Tour de Farce. I can't stand cheating and lying. Where has the honor gone? What kind of role models are these guys? What do you tell your kids? They’re all going down sooner or later, Lance and Floyd included, mark my word, and that will be a great day indeed.

Joseph Froncioni

Finding Pablo in Paris

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-07-12T13:13:14-03:00

For lovers of Picasso...in Paris.

I love Paris. Sure Parisians can be arrogant but I guess they have something to be arrogant about. Paris has its problems, more so of late it seems, but nothing serious enough to extinguish the flame. The city of lights lives on and its denizens seem possessed with a joie de vivre that is hard to match.
Springtime in Paris and there is nothing I enjoy more than to sling my camera over my shoulder and go on a walkabout. This trip was a bit different than most for me as Josée was in board meetings for most of the 4 days we were there and so I was on my own. This has its pros and cons I guess. It certainly gave me the freedom to indulge in some interests that are not equally shared by my better half. On the other hand, I can never fully enjoy something if I can’t share it with my wife.
Any visitor to Paris with the slightest interest in art has made the pilgrimage to one or all of the following Meccas: Le Musée du Louvre, le Musée d’Orsay and le Musée National d’Art Moderne at the Centre Georges Pompidou. One of the things that impresses me the most about this trio is how well their collections compliment each other. With the Louvre holdings spanning antiquity to the mid-19th century, Musée d’Orsay from mid-19th to the early 20th century and Pompidou from the early 20th century to the present, the whole of man’s artistic timeline is covered. I’ve also always been a bit surprised at how much influence non-French architects have had on these 3 iconic buildings. Le Louvre’s main entrance and its outstanding glass pyramid (and no, there is no substance to the urban myth that the pyramid has exactly 666 panes of glass, “the number of the beast”) were designed by the Chinese American I M Pei (with Peter Rice). Gae Aulenti, Italian architect, installation artist, lighting and interior designer is responsible for the transformation of the Gare d’Orsay into the truly magnificent Musée d’Orsay which opened in 1986 and for which she was named Chevalier de la Légion d’Honneur by the French government. Finally, the Centre Georges Pompidou which opened its doors in 1977 was designed by Italian architect Renzo Piano (with Richard Rogers). Must have pissed off a couple of French architects I bet.
But I digress. This article is really about a Paris museum I didn’t even know existed: Musée National Picasso . I don’t remember how I found out about it but I assure you it is a real gem.
When Picasso (born in Malaga in 1881 and christened Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Clito Ruiz y Picasso) died in 1973, his heirs were saddled with a hefty inheritance tax, known in France as la dation, which they paid off with works of art. The donation to the state consisted of over 3,500 works including 203 paintings, 1500 drawings, 1600 engravings, 29 reliefs, 88 ceramics, 158 sculptures as well as sketch books, collages and illustrated books. Picasso was also a collector and the donation included works by Braque, Matisse, Miro, Cézanne, Degas and many other well know artists. When Picasso’s wife Jacqueline died in 1990, the museum acquired more than 100 more pieces. Finally, in 1992, the entirety of Picasso’s archives including thousands of letters and photographs found a home in the Musée Picasso. These works form the bulk of this impressive collection now housed in the fine 17th century mansion called Hôtel Salé at 5 rue de Thorigny in the Marais district.
That the man was prolific becomes evident when one realizes that the works in the Musée Picasso make up only a small portion of his oeuvre. The Museu Picasso in Barcelona houses about the same number of Picassos including the bulk of his early work. Add to this the vast number of Picassos in the major museums around the world as well as those works lost to public view in private collections and you begin to get the idea of this artist’s creative zeal.
The works in the Musée Picasso are displayed in chronological order in this well organized but maze-like mansion. As I segued from the early years to his Blue, Rose, African and Cubist periods, I was overwhelmed by the satisfying feeling of finally getting to know this man properly. Indeed, one has the impression of becoming intimate with Picasso here. As interesting as the paintings, for me, are the myriad multimedia compositions often constructed of materials that a mere artistic mortal would ignore. How can 2 children’s toy cars stuck together wheel to wheel become the head of a baboon, an old bicycle seat and rusty handlebars a bull’s head or a wicker basket the rib cage of a skipping girl?
Also on display are hundreds of photographs that depict Picasso the man. Through these photographs, we get to see Picasso dressed up as a toreador, Picasso the husband and father with Jacqueline, Claude and Paloma and Picasso in drag. Add to these his letters, sketches and doodles and you slowly start to understand what made this man tick.

There are plenty of sculptures scattered throughout the museum with the larger ones displayed in a large airy glassed-in courtyard. The diverse styles of these pieces once again demonstrates Picasso’s amazing artistic talent and boundless imagination.
I have to say that this is one of the best and most moving museum experiences I have ever had. If you decide to visit Musée Picasso, plan to dedicate at least 2 hours for a basic walk-through. If you have a particular interest in Picasso however, even a full day might not suffice.
Finally, some words from the artist:
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

Joseph Froncioni

Josée’s Big Knife Story

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-07-02T08:00:00-03:00

A weapon at JFK.

The following is a true story.

In 2005, in preparation for the opening of her cooking school, Josée spent a week at the venerable Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York. Her stay there was productive and, save for a small cut to her left index, happily uneventful. She brushed-up on her already considerable skills in the kitchen and managed to learn quite a number of useful tricks from the school’s impressive teaching staff.

Immediately following her stay at the school, I met up with Josée in NYC where we spent a delightful weekend exploring our favorite city’s offerings. By now, I’m sure you’re wondering about the title of this story and so I had better get to the point before I lose your attention.

It is a standard requirement of the Culinary Institute that attendees have their own knife-sets, and so it was that Josée traveled to the school with a collection of 9 sharp instruments sufficient to de-bone a cow. At the time, she did not have a proper knife-set holder and so made do with an old ballistic-nylon briefcase that she placed inside one of her checked bags.

Here, we get into the meat of the story, no pun intended. It was on the very first day of classes that Josée noticed that she was missing 1 knife. Remember she had 9 to start with and now the count had been reduced to 8. Search high and low as she might, the 9th knife was never found and she made do with what she had for the rest of the week.

Near the end of her stay, Josée purchased a professional knife-set holder from the school which freed the ballistic-nylon bag to carry back the numerous textbooks and documents from her courses. So it was that at the end of our weekend in NYC, we found ourselves in the security line-up at JFK Airport, Josée with the nylon (now) document bag in hand.

In this post-9/11 era, you know as well as I do how courteous and friendly airport security personnel can be…or not. America, obsessed with terrorism, has become a police state and the minions in uniform have lost all traces of civility. And they have guns. I find JFK particularly bad in this respect and I must admit that at times, I have experienced feelings of intimidation bordering on fear passing though security.

I was in front of Josée and had just passed through the metal detector beltless, shoeless and sheepish when I first noticed that something was amiss. Josée had placed her bag on the belt when moments later, the operator’s expression went from ho hum boredom to worried concentration. Something had caught his eye. I started to move forward but the wand guy barked at me not to move. I could tell the x-ray guy was worried when he asked some of his colleagues to join him and started whispering and pointing at the screen. A furtive glance in my direction and I knew I might be in trouble. The guy then called for a supervisor. A quick look at the screen by the supervisor, a few words spoken into the walkie-talkie and before we knew it, the place was crawling with armed police. “Ladies and gentlemen, this line is now closed so please proceed to the next security station.” yelled a big cop. “Sir, mam, please don’t move.” he said pointing to my wife and I. Oh shit.

After what seemed an interminable length of time, the supervisor took a couple of steps toward me and stopping a safe distance away, he asked, “Sir, is the black briefcase yours?” “Uh…why yes…it is.” “Sir, do you have a very long letter opener in the briefcase?” “ No, of course not.” I replied. He strolled back to the x-ray viewer and again conferred with his colleagues all the while pointing at the screen and casting the occasional glance in my direction. Looking around, I could see that the cops had undone the little safety straps holding down their guns. Beam me up NOW, Scotty! I couldn’t help wondering how I would look in an orange jumpsuit on my first and possibly last visit to Cuba. After another minute, the supervisor approached me again. “Sir, do you have a...eh... butcher knife in your bag?” “Of course not….” I started to mumble. Then it hit me. “IT’S HER!!!” I yelled pointing to Josée. “SHE’S JUST SPENT A WEEK AT THE CIA AND SHE LOST A KNIFE!!” I blurted out. Oops I thought as I immediately felt the terror-alert-status go up to red. Shouldn’t have said that. “The CIA?” said the supervisor. “Eh…I mean the Culinary Institute of America.” “And why are you concealing a butcher knife in your bag sir?” “It’s a long story, sir but my wife lost a knife at the cooking school and I guess it was left in the bag.” Terror alert-status down a notch.

He then reached into the briefcase and extracted the 10-inch Sabatier from under the false bottom. Holding it up with 2 fingers, he asked us if the knife was ours. “Yes sir, it is.” We said. “I’m afraid we’ll have to confiscate this weapon...alright with you?” “Eh…of course sir.”

And there it ended. No detention, no extraordinary rendition. “Josée, for Christ’s sake, you trying to get us arrested?!” I said on the way to our gate. She looked at me with a sheepish smile, “Well at least I know where that knife went…”

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – Dublin

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-06-28T08:00:00-03:00

Our Dublin trip.

This is NOT the definitive guide to Dublin eating. Our 3 days in Baile Átha Cliath, Irish for Dublin, were pleasant enough especially that we got to spend quality time with our very good friends Tom and Robin, but our goal was not to plumb the depths of Irish cuisine. Rather, we explored the city and environs and savored the atmosphere and cultural offerings.
The DART is an ideal way to get around the greater Dublin area and is a very pleasant way to visit the nearby towns. A walk down the old and winding streets of Dalkey to the south and a visit to its 15th century Goat Castle took up most of a morning and gave us an appetite for lunch. Finnegan’s Pub on Sorrento Road served up Irish cottage pie and smoked cod and we washed it down with the mandatory pint of Guinness. Farther north, we strolled through the fishing village of Howth and learned a thing or two about the local catch from a very talkative Chilean fishmonger.
Back in Dublin proper, we strolled down Grafton Street and hit some pubs in Temple Bar just south of the River Liffey. I particularly enjoyed Trinity College, founded in 1592 by Elizabeth I where we saw the very ancient Book of Kells.
But back to eating. We did make one very interesting find and that would be a Dublin restaurant with the unusual moniker of One Pico . Tucked away in Molesworth Place, One Pico is an excellent example of the wave of fine dining that has no doubt accompanied Ireland’s newfound fortunes. The atmosphere is warm and the service attentive. The walls are decorated with interesting framed works by Irish artists. The master in the kitchen is Stephen McAllister and I can tell you that this is one chef that deserves your attention. Here’s what we ate:

Starters: Roast Scallops with carrot and cardamom puree, carrot and chervil salad and Riesling jelly; Ham Hock and Foie Gras Terrine with crushed peas, pea and basil ice cream (The ice cream was outstanding and was a perfect accompaniment for the terrine.); Langoustines on a bed of orange and white Valhrona chocolate risotto, summer truffle and sorrel (This is what Josée and I had and it ranks as one of the best dishes we have ever had. The taste of white chocolate in the perfectly cooked risotto was nicely offset by the acid in the thin slices of orange. The langoustines were so tender they just melted in the mouth. What a discovery! Photo 1)

Main Courses: Roast New Season Lamb with goats’ cheese cannelloni, sweet garlic, lemon and basil ; Roast Rabbit, saddle wrapped in Parma ham, stuffed leg, confit shoulder, apple and vanilla puree, voilette mustard Photo 4; Barbary Duck Breast, chicory, prune and tea puree, confit duck ravioli, orange and poppy seeds Photo 2.

Side orders: mousseline potatoes; baby potatoes, parsley, garlic and lemon butter; roast organic carrots, honey and thyme; organic beetroot, chive crème fraîche.

Desserts: Chocolate and Cherry, chocolate délice, cocoa and cherry ice crème, balsamic and kirsch syrup Photo 7; Pineapple and Coconut, ravioli of pineapple and tropical fruit, coconut sorbet, Coca-Cola jelly (Yup, you read correctly.)Photo 6 ; Raspberry and White Chocolate, orange and Campari jelly, raspberry and white chocolate salad Photo 5.

Wine: 2 bottles of decent claret: Sarget de Gruaud Larose (I don’t remember the year. I know you’re wondering about the modest wine consumption but we had started sipping long before dinner.)

Total for 4 before grats: €423.75 and well worthwhile. We’ll be back.

Joseph Froncioni

Flying Macs

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-06-24T08:00:00-03:00

A great Mac story!

The following is a true story.

My wife is an important person. You knew that. In 2000, in her capacity as Balli of the Bermuda Bailliage of the Chaîne des Rôtisseurs, she (with unimportant me in tow) was invited to attend the gala celebration of the 40th anniversary of the American Chaîne des Rôtisseurs. The event was held at the iconic Plaza Hotel in New York City. So it was that on March 24th of that year, we found ourselves in white tie attire at what is incontestably the most lavish food and wine event we have ever attended. The event had been orchestrated by the then Balli of the New York chapter, Harriette Rose Katz, whose power and influence in the hospitality industry was manifestly sans pareil. I say this because it became evident early on in the evening that the food and decoration costs for this event bore no relationship to the ticket price and as surely as truffles grow in the ground, the Plaza was putting this party on at a considerable loss. It is difficult to do this event justice in the sense that “you had to be there” but here’s my meager attempt.

Formalities were completed in the Rose Room from whence we were lead to the Terrace Room, which had been transformed, into a cherry orchard in full bloom. We were invited to stroll around to whet our appetites with a few pre-dinner offerings. Well I never…here is a sampling of the gastronomic delights we were treated to: Perrier-Joüet Grand Brut and Domaine Comte Lafon Macon Chapeau 1997, French goose liver, French duck liver, and Hudson Valley goose liver pan sautéed to order, four varieties of oysters on the half-shell, Louisiana crayfish, Norwegian langoustines, tiger shrimp from Venezuela, white shrimp from Guatemala, Hawaiian rock shrimp, and shrimp from the Gulf of Mexico, tuna presented three ways: roasted with red and green pepper salsa, sashimi with soy vinaigrette and ginger, and tartare with mustard wasabi, sweetbreads, Scottish hare stew, wild pigeon confit, Coquilles St. Jacques, risotto with truffles.

A short walk up the white marble staircase past a dozen violinists in tails took us into the Grand Ballroom for dinner. The Ballroom was spectacular having been decorated with 4,000 yellow roses, I kid you not. Wine older than my children accompanied myriad dishes of extraordinary splendor including: lemon and dill marinated Atlantic salmon with scallop tartar and a spoon of Imperial osetra caviar; seared antelope chop with  huckleberry sauce,  antelope bourguignon  and parsnip timbale,   glazed pearl onions, carrots  and fava beans; Fourme d'Amber with honey and almonds, toasted baguette with white truffle oil; spiced bread Bavarian with Armagnac coulis and frozen nut cream Jivara, sugar "bulb" with plum compote and lemon ice cream; mignardises. …I know what you’re thinking but we’re professionals and we train for these things.

Now that you have a sense of the evening, I’ll get to the point of the story. Josée was seated beside an elderly gentleman in tails who kept her entertained with stories of fame, fortune and artificial sweeteners. At one point, he turned to Josée and said, ”You know, my dear, I’ve just received my new G4.” “Really?” replied Josée. “I didn’t know the G4 was out yet. We have a G3 but I’m sure that as soon as my husband finds out the new model is out, he’ll insist we get one. What color is it by the way?” “We got ours in white.” the gentleman replied. “And is it fast?” Josée asked. “Much faster than the G3.” He replied. The conversation was interrupted at that point by the Cuban rhythms of the Buena Vista Social Club no less.

The evening over, we stumbled back to our room well sauced. That’s when I noticed that Josée was giggling to herself. The giggling quickly became uncontrolled laughter prompting me to ask her what was so funny. “You’ll never believe this,” she said “but I had a long conversation with that man sitting next to me at dinner. We talked about G3s and G4s and it just hit me that while I was talking about Macintosh computers, he was talking about Gulfstream jets!”

We’ve always thought this would make a great ad for Macintosh computers.

Joseph Froncioni

World's 50 Best Restaurants 2007

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-06-21T22:41:20-03:00

This year's list by Restaurant Magazine.

Restaurant Magazine’s list of the world’s 50 best restaurants for 2007 is out and the winner is….. El Bulli . Again. For the second year running. And we still haven’t eaten there. Not happy.
I’ve published this list before and I think it’s worth explaining again how Restaurant Magazine , a London based industry glossy, puts it together. You will find this year’s list here and previous years’ lists here . The magazine somewhat pretentiously refers to its selection committee as The Academy. Basically, it divides the world into 22 regions and selects a chairperson for each one. The chairpersons are selected for their intimate knowledge of the restaurant industry in their part of the world. These chairs each select a voting panel, who cast a total of 3,255 votes. There is no list of nominated restaurants and each member of the Academy may vote for their 5 favorite restaurants with a maximum of 2 being in their own region and the rest being from other regions. They must have eaten at the restaurants they vote for in the previous 18 months and are not permitted to vote for their own restaurant. I hope you agree with me that this selection method is about as democratic and comprehensive as you can get.
You will note that the first 5 positions have not changed from last year with Ferran Adria’s El Bulli, in the top 3 since 2002, leading the pack. France has nearly 25% of the top 50 followed by USA, UK, Spain and Italy. Canada, my home country, does not even make the top 100.
Enjoy.

Joseph Froncioni

500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-05-26T09:00:42-03:00

Feminine pulchritude in art.

I saw this on YouTube and fell in love…52 times. The director of this video morphs the female visage as seen in 500 years of art. The result is a moving experience for any art lover. The download may be lengthy but well worth the wait. The works are by the following artists: Leonardo Da Vinci, Raphael, Titian, Botticelli , Boltraffio, Albrecht Durer, Lucas Cranach the Elder, Messina, Perugino, Hans Memling, El Greco, Hans Holbein, Rokotov, Peter Paul Rubens, Gobert, Caspar Netscher, Pierre Mignard, Jean-Marc Nattier, Vigee-Le Brun, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Winterhalter, Tyranov, Borovikovsky, Venetsianov, Gros, Kiprensky, Amalie, Corot, Edouard Manet, Flatour, Ingres, Wontner, Bouguereau, Comerre, Leighton, Blaas, Renoir, Millias, Duveneck, Cassatt, Weir, Zorn, Mucha, Paul Gaugan, Henri Matisse, Picabia, Gustav Klimt, Hawkins, Magritte, Salvador Dali, Malevich, Merrild, Modigliani, Pablo Picasso.

More videos from eggman, the director of the piece, can be viewed here. Enjoy!

Joseph Froncioni

Quinessential Hitchens

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-05-23T10:00:26-03:00

Hitchens at his best.

You may have noticed in my reading list on the left the yellow jacket of Christopher Hitchens’ latest work, God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. Master polemicist par excellence , Hitchens writing should be of interest not only to atheists but also to any clear thinking person with an interest in religion. Reprinted below from SLATE is what I consider to be a particularly fine example of this man’s no-holds-barred writing and a particularly suitable obituary for a man of Jerry Faldwell’s ilk. The original can be found here. Enjoy.

Joseph Froncioni

Faith-Based Fraud

JERRY FALWELL'S FOUL RANTINGS PROVE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IF YOU HAVE "REVEREND" IN FRONT OF YOUR NAME.

By Christopher Hitchens
Posted Wednesday, May 16, 2007, at 12:46 PM ET

The discovery of the carcass of Jerry Falwell on the floor of an obscure office in Virginia has almost zero significance, except perhaps for two categories of the species labeled "credulous idiot." The first such category consists of those who expected Falwell (and themselves) to be bodily raptured out of the biosphere and assumed into the heavens, leaving pilotless planes and driverless trucks and taxis to crash with their innocent victims as collateral damage. This group is so stupid and uncultured that it may perhaps be forgiven. It is so far "left behind" that almost its only pleasure is to gloat at the idea of others being abandoned in the same condition.
The second such category is of slightly more importance, because it consists of the editors, producers, publicists, and a host of other media riffraff who allowed Falwell to prove, almost every week, that there is no vileness that cannot be freely uttered by a man whose name is prefaced with the word Reverend. Try this: Call a TV station and tell them that you know the Antichrist is already on earth and is an adult Jewish male. See how far you get. Then try the same thing and add that you are the Rev. Jim-Bob Vermin. "Why, Reverend, come right on the show!" What a fool Don Imus was. If he had paid the paltry few bucks to make himself a certified clergyman, he could be jeering and sneering to the present hour.
Falwell went much further than his mad 1999 assertion about the Jewish Antichrist. In the time immediately following the assault by religious fascism on American civil society in September 2001, he used his regular indulgence on the airwaves to commit treason. Entirely exculpating the suicide-murderers, he asserted that their acts were a divine punishment of the United States. Again, I ask you to imagine how such a person would be treated if he were not supposedly a man of faith.
One of his associates, Bailey Smith, once opined that "God does not hear the prayers of a Jew." This is one of the few anti-Semitic remarks ever made that has a basis in fact, since God does not exist and does not attend to any prayers, but Smith was not quite making that point. Along with his friend Pat Robertson, who believes in secret Jewish control of the world of finance, and Billy Graham, who boasted to Richard Nixon that the Jews had never guessed what he truly thought of them, Falwell kept alive the dirty innuendo about Jews that so many believing Christians seem to need. This would be bad enough in itself, and an additional reason to deplore the free ride he was given on television, if his trade-off had not been even worse.
Seeking to deflect the charge of anti-Jewish prejudice, Falwell adopted the cause of the most thuggish and demented Israeli settlers, proclaiming that their occupation of the West Bank and Gaza was a holy matter and hoping that they might help to bring on Armageddon and the return of the Messiah. A detail in this ghastly narrative, as adepts of the "Left Behind" series will know, is that the return of the risen Christ will require the mass slaughter or mass conversion of all Jews. This consideration did not prevent Menachem Begin from awarding Falwell the Jabotinsky Centennial Medal in 1980 and has not inhibited other Israeli extremists from embracing him and his co-thinkers ever since. All bigots and frauds are brothers under the skin. Trying to interrupt the fiesta of piety on national television on the night of Falwell's death, I found myself waiting while Ralph Reed went all moist about the role of the departed in empowering "people of faith." Here was the hypocritical casino-based Christian who sought and received the kosher stamp from Jack Abramoff. Perfect.
Like many fanatical preachers, Falwell was especially disgusting in exuding an almost sexless personality while railing from dawn to dusk about the sex lives of others. His obsession with homosexuality was on a par with his lip-smacking evocations of hellfire. From his wobbly base of opportunist fund raising and degree-mill money-spinning in Lynchburg, Va., he set out to puddle his sausage-sized fingers into the intimate arrangements of people who had done no harm. Men of this type, if they cannot persuade enough foolish people to part with their savings, usually end up raving on the street and waving placards about the coming day of judgment. But Falwell, improving on the other Chaucerian frauds from Oral Roberts to Jim Bakker to Ted Haggard, not only had a TV show of his own but was also regularly invited onto mainstream ones.
The evil that he did will live after him. This is not just because of the wickedness that he actually preached, but because of the hole that he made in the "wall of separation" that ought to divide religion from politics. In his dingy racist past, Falwell attacked those churchmen who mixed the two worlds of faith and politics and called for civil rights. Then he realized that two could play at this game and learned to play it himself. Then he won the Republican Party over to the idea of religious voters and faith-based fund raising. And now, by example at least, he has inspired emulation in many Democrats and liberals who would like to borrow the formula. His place on the cable shows will be amply filled by Al Sharpton: another person who can get away with anything under the rubric of Reverend. It's a shame that there is no hell for Falwell to go to, and it's extraordinary that not even such a scandalous career is enough to shake our dumb addiction to the "faith-based."

Letters to Alexandra

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-05-21T06:40:54-03:00

My daughter Alexenandra turns 21.

QUICKSWOOD May 21st 2007

Dear Alexandra,

I have to tell you that exactly 21 years ago, I was a little bit stressed. There I was doing a total hip replacement and all I could think of was your mother 2 floors below. Josée was in full labor and you were about to be born. The head nurse would periodically stick her head through the door and indicate with her thumb and index just how dilated my wife was, and that was certainly no help at all. I finished the hip without incident and left my resident to close and I made it in good time to help mum finish what I had started 9 months earlier. Tevor Mudge delivered you with The Police blasting over the delivery room speakers and you did your best to keep up with the lyrics. I popped the Moët and passed it round and you probably got a taste of it during one of your first feeds…which explains a lot.
You were a feisty little thing from the start as if someone had forgotten to tell you that we were in a faraway land with no family about. You put your mum through the ringer with sleep deprivation and you even dared to bite the very bosom that fed you. We should have recognized the prescience of all this.
Very early on, though, a charming little creature emerged in the form of “Yaya”, a loveable girl-child that stole everyone’s hearts. You were always a handful, and you may even be proud of that, but you were the kind of handful that tends to be interpreted as “character”. You had no fear and could free-dive to 5 meters by age 4; you could calm any hound no matter how big or how angry. You showed true grit and determination throughout your gymnastics career and did us mighty proud at the ’99 Pan American Games.
Then came the hormones…and by the bucketful. The difficult moments were, well, difficult and mum and I learned how heavy the burden of parenthood really was. The truth of the matter is that deep down, we were never really worried because we had confidence in the way we had raised you and, in retrospect, we knew you better that you knew yourself. We look back on it as a learning experience and we’re pretty sure that you now agree with Mark Twain’s famous description of his own passage from adolescence to adulthood: “When I was 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
You are now a young adult and a wonderful one at that. Your feet are firmly on the ground and you’re looking ahead at a bright and exciting future. You love and are loved, you work hard and you play hard. And although you can still go from zero to…well you know what, in 4.2 seconds, you have that wonderful combination of passion and charm that together with your natural beauty makes you someone very special indeed.
Happy 21st birthday, my Alexandra.

Dad

Lettre d’un grand-papa à sa petite fille

Les Bermudes

Le 21 Mai 2007

Ma chère Alexandra,

Ce matin ensoleillé du 21 mai 1986, ta grand-mère et moi avons reçu un interurbain en provenance d’Adelaïde, Australie. C’était ton papa Joseph qui nous annonçait ta naissance, un magnifique poupon de 7 livres. Au moment de la communication téléphonique j’étais sous la douche et quand grand-maman me fit part de l’heureux évènement survenu, à des milliers de kilometres de notre résidence je fus envahi d’une joie si intense que des larmes de joie coulaient sur mes joues.

Ce même matin, alors que je circulais parmi le personnel de mon bureau, mes collègues réalisèrent qu’un grand évènement était survenu dans ma vie tellement mes traits semblaient démontrés de la joie

La distance, nous empêchait il va de soi, de partager le bonheur de tes heureux parents et de te serrer dans nos bras. Cependant, trois mois plus tard, à la fin d’août, ta grand-mère et moi avons fait ce grand voyage qui nous a conduit en Australie où résidait tes parents. Que d’émotions et d’émerveillements durant ce voyage memorable. Enfin nous allions pouvoir te transmettre tout l’amour dont nos coeurs débordaient..

Après des arrêts à Vancouver, Hawaï et aux Iles Fidgi l’avion de la ligne Ansett nous déposa à l’aéroport d’Adelaïde où tu nous attendais en compagnie de tes parents et …..là…..dans ton pousse-pousse se présenta à nos yeux le plus beau bébé du monde…toi, ma chère Alexandra. Inutile de te rappeler combien d’émotion nous étreignait et c’est à-travers nos larmes qui nous avons pu t’admirer pour la première fois.

Quelles merveilleuses semaines grand-maman et moi avons passé avec toi et tes parents. Jamais n’oublierons-nous nos excursions dans les vignobles de Barossa Valley ni de notre fabuleux voyage dans les outbacks pas plus que notre croisière sur la Murray River. Finalement, notre voyage à Sydney se révèla le meilleur moment de notre séjour en Australie.

Depuis lor, les distances qui nous séparaient à ta naissance se sont rétrécies et du fait que tu résides maintenant aux Bermudes nous pouvons te voir grandir et te visiter ou t recevoir plus fréquemment.

Aussi avons nous été, ta grand-mère et moi privilégiés d’assister à ton cheminement à travers tes 21 années d’existence. De poupon à la jeune fille qui dançait la lambada, à tes exploits de gymnaste et de nageuse sans passer sous silence l’évolution de tes goûts gastronomiques pour les olives, la salade César et le risotto.

Tes success scolaires, en dépit d’une courte période difficle sont tout à ton honneur et ta tenacité et tes qualités artistiques pour la photographie laissent entrevoir un avenir rempli de promesses. Ton instinct quasi maternel pour ton frère Philippe est une qualité qui t’honore et ton entregent en société est une valeur qui t’ouvrira bien des portes.

En terminant, chère Alex, aurions nous voulu, ta grand-mère et moi décrire notre premier petit enfant c’est toi que nous aurions décrit.

Nous t’adorons et t’aimons de tout notre coeur et te souhaitons un joyeux 21ième anniversaire de naissance.

Grand-papa Roy

Helvetica – 50 Years Young

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-05-16T21:11:13-03:00

A venerable font.

“50 years young!” I keep telling my wife who, like Helvetica, is celebrating (my word, not hers) a half-century this year. And both, in my eyes, have managed to retain a fresh and modern look that shows no sign of decline. Oh how I love the flow of those lovely curves and that cute little tail…on the “a”, the well-formed ascenders and the sexy descenders...
Helvetica is indeed 50 years old and MoMA has marked the occasion with an exhibition in the third floor Philip Johnson Architecture and Design Galleries, called 50 Years of Helvetica. Furthermore, MoMA acquired an original set of 36-point lead Helvetica letterforms, the first typeset in its collection. I have to admit that it was pure chance that we spotted the Helvetica exhibition as we make it a habit to always drop into the Architecture and Design galleries to see what’s new.
First introduced in 1957 under its original name, Neue Haas Grotesk, Helvetica was conceived by Edouard Hoffmann, director of the Haas Type Foundry in Switzerland, as an updated version of Akzidenz Grotesk, a late 19th-century sans serif typeface. Hoffmann commissioned little-known typography designer Max Miedinger, to create the new font. The typeface did not gain immediate popularity. In 1961, Haas's parent company, Mergenthaler Linotype, decided to market Neue Haas Grotesk internationally and to change its name to one that would be more memorable in English and so they chose Helvetica as a more accessible and easily pronounceable version of Helvetia, the Latin word for Switzerland. In no time at all, Helvetica soon became the typeface of choice for anyone who wanted to project a modern contemporary image. Christian Larsen, curator of the MoMA exhibition put it this way: "Helvetica delivers a message quickly and efficiently without imposing itself. When reading it, one hardly notices the letterforms, only the meaning, it's that well designed. It's crisp, clean and sharply legible, yet humanized by round, soft strokes. Many type designers have said that they can not improve on it."
Consider the following list of companies that use Helvetica for their brand names and I think you’ll understand how ubiquitous this font has become: 3M, AA, AGFA, American Apparel, Amtrak, BASF, BMW, Comme des Garçons, Crate & Barrel, Evian, Fendi, Greyhound, Intel, JEEP, Kartell, Knoll, Lufthansa, Microsoft, Mitsubishi Electric, Muji, NYC subway map, Nestlé, Olympus, Panasonic, Parmalat, Saab Automobile, Sears, Staples, Toyota, Samsung, Seagate, Target, Texaco. This list is no doubt incomplete but does support the opinion of some observers that Helvetica was the “official typeface of the 20th century.”
Mac lover that I am, I can’t resist pointing out that Helvetica is and always has been the default font for Mac OS. I also can’t resist pointing out that that other company, the one that dominates the market, uses Arial as its default font (but Helvetica for its brand name). Most computer users, both Mac and PC, are constantly exposed to Arial as a consequence of Microsoft’s overwhelming dominance of the market. However, according to graphic designer Mark Simonson, "Arial has a rather dubious history and not much character. In fact, Arial is little more than a shameless impostor." In the early 1980’s, Adobe developed Postscript page description language and included Helvetica as one of the fonts they licensed from the original foundries (the others were Times, Courier and Symbol). In the late 80’s, Microsoft developed TrueImage and Apple developed TrueType as page description languages that would compete with Adobe’s. However, while Apple went with Helvetica and paid the foundry license fee, Microsoft opted for the much cheaper knockoff, Arial. Arial had been developed by Monotype and was a loose adaptation of the existing Grotesque series of fonts. Grotesque had been redrawn to match the weight and proportions of Helvetica. To the untrained eye, the difference was difficult to spot. Here are the key differences between Arial and Helvetica (from Mark Simonson’s article How To Spot Arial):

Now when is the last time you saw a film about typography? Well I never have but the 50th anniversary of Helvetica is the perfect excuse would you not agree? Helvetica is here! A documentary by Gary Hustwit, Helvetica is currently doing the rounds of international film festivals and is being well recieved. Soon to be out on DVD, Helvetica should cement this venerable font's rightful place in the history of graphic design.

I hope you have noticed by now that this blog uses Helvetica. I have to admit though that most of my word processing to date has been in Arial. I guess Arial, like a weed, has spread not on its merits but rather as a parasite clinging to Microsoft products. Well I've fixed that and changed all the default font options to the real thing...long live Helvetica!

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – More NYC Treats

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-05-11T15:46:00-03:00

NYC: 2 museums and 3 restaurants.

Not that we ever need an excuse to go to The Big Apple but this is the one we used this time: We wanted catch the Jeff Wall Exhibition at MoMA and the Design for the Other 90% Exhibition at the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum. The shopping and eating were incidental of course. Jeff Wall was, well, Jeff Wall (see photos) . MoMA’s retrospective of his works is impressive and a fitting tribute to one of the most famous living photographers, and a Canadian to boot. The Design for the Other 90% Exhibition was a bit disappointing. The exhibition is actually outdoors in the beautiful courtyard garden of the museum facing Central Park. Some of the objects, however, might have been displayed a bit better. Two that caught my attention as particularly well designed for the third world are the Q Drum and the LifeStraw (see photos). The Cooper-Hewitt remains a grand old lady of a building and delights with its eclectic assemblage of design artifacts including a wonderful collection of staircase models from 19th-century France.
Now for the pleasures of the palate. Three new restaurants this time: Esca (402 W. 43 St.), Bolo (23 E. 22 St.) and Café Gray (Time Warner Center, 10 Columbus Circle).
ESCA is a collaborative effort by Mario Batali, Joseph Bastianich and David Pasternack and is devoted to Southern Italian seafood. The décor is clean and modern and the service is informal and pleasant in an upscale bistro style. There were 3 wine waiters working the floor, 2 of them women. The gastronomic find here is the crudo, Batali’s Italian version of sashimi. The seafood is obviously the freshest available and the tastes are definitely Mediterranean. As any good menu demands to be read with a glass in hand, we started with a “Kastelaz” pinot bianco 2005 by Elena Walch (Alto Aldige) while nibbling on amuse bouches of bruschtta with white beans and cod and marinated olives. Josée started with the crudo tasting: Indian Point oysters (from Maine, not the power plant); halibut belly with olio Laggo di Garda, pink snapper in red clay salt; hamachi with Gaeta olive aioli; razor clam 2 minute cheviche with chilis, scallion and mint; scampi with olive oil from Sorrento. While all of these tender raw bits were delightful, the scampi in particular deserves special mention. Have you ever had raw scampi? We had not and I dare say you won’t find scampi sashimi on too many menus. The chef here obviously has absolute confidence in the freshness of his seafood and manages to turn this little crustacean into something that astonishes. Having sampled some of Josée’s crudo, I started on my appetizer – polipo (octopus) grilled and served with giant corona beans and preserved Sorrento lemon. Now these tentacles had obviously been stolen from a pretty large beast and my expectation was that the meat would be rubbery. Not so. This baby was as tender as it was tasty. Josée and I then shared a plate of spaghetti neri – house made squid ink spaghetti with cuttlefish, green chilis and scallions. My Venetian relatives would surely have approved. For the main course, I chose flounder (passera) with spinach and fava beans while Josée had Montauk cod (merluzzo) with a salad of artichokes and marinated olives. Both dishes were done to perfection with a bottle of Scioppetino Dorigo (Friuli) 2005 (red) to wash it all down. Assorted biscotti and a double espresso for a final tab of ~ $230. – well worth it and certainly deserving of another visit.
Bolo is a Bobby Flay establishment and offers up Spanish fare with an American twist. We had eaten here once before but the experience had been less than satisfactory as we were rushing to catch a show. This time, we had all the time in the world and a delightful dinner guest, the beautiful Annie Pinto contributing her Venezuelan charm to the evening. A bottle of crisp 2005 Naia from Rueda, Spain got things going. I chose a flight of 4 tapas: saffron rice cake with shrimp; sautéed squid & bacon with garlic oil; artichoke heart with quail egg & salmon caviar; white anchovies with tangerine. I could have had 4 more. Josée had a plate of white and green asparagus with fava beans (in season at the moment). Main course: I had the pan-roasted rabbit wrapped in Serrano ham with cauliflower risotto, caramelized shallots & thyme. Josée had the black squid ink risotto with grilled prawns, lobster & green onion vinaigrette…squid ink 2 nights in a row but she wanted to compare the 2 preparations. The wine: Viña Tondonia Reserva (red) 1998 from Rioja. Overall, excellent food, good service and lively atmosphere. Tab: ~$330. for the three of us. We’ll be back.
Finally, Café Gray. We’d heard about this one from quite a bit so we were happy when our friends Albert and Ellissa proposed it. The chef is Gray Kunz formerly from Lespinasse, one of NYC’s best restaurants. Chef Kunz is also part owner of Spice Market (previously reviewed on this blog) in the Meat Packing District, a joint venture with Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten. The restaurant is bustling and the décor lavish. There is an unobstructed view onto Columbus Circle that is especially impressive after dark. The kitchen is open-style and more importantly is sunken so that one has the impression of looking down into the orchestra pit at a symphony. The cooking is done on induction hobs and the chef’s brigade is sizeable. The tables are covered in a plastic mesh material that in my mind is no substitute for white linen. Josée started with soy-ginger cured hamachi (tuna) on a cucumber and black radish salad followed by grilled snapper on pea shoots, jicama and young ginger bouillon. I had the risotto mushroom fricassee followed by the grilled snapper. Don’t remember the wine. Overall, we were not very impressed. The fish was good but not memorable and the risotto stood out not because it was tasty but rather because it was undercooked. The tab was ~ $500 for 4 and we’ve crossed this one off our list.

Joseph Froncioni

Kaz II: Mystery at Sea

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-04-27T15:16:05-03:00

The unsolved mystery of Kaz II.

Here’s a story that’s piqued my interest. It’s not that I’m a particularly avid fan of the mystery/thriller genre so much as the fact that this is a real-life drama that has got a lot of people scratching their heads. Listening to a good yarn is one thing but following an evolving mystery-at-sea on the Internet is quite another. See if you can get your teeth into this one.
Synopsis: Three men set off on a 9.8 meter catamaran, the Kaz II, with the intention of completing a six week journey from North Queensland, Australia, traveling north and then west ending up in Perth. Three days after their departure, the Kaz II is found floating adrift and with no one aboard. A lengthy sea and air search has thus far failed to turn up any sign of the men.
The protagonists: All three men are from Perth, Australia. The skipper and owner of the boat is 56yo Derek Batten. His companions are Peter Tunstead, 69, and his brother James, 63. The men are reportedly keen fishermen. Apparently, none of the men are strong swimmers but were described as "ocean-wise". (See photo: from left to right, Peter, Des and James)
The boat: Kaz II is a 9.8-meter catamaran sailboat with standard rigging. Barry Haldan, who runs the Harbour Side Boat Hire, Bait & Tackle on the jetty estimated that the Kaz II was five years old and "more than capable" of making the voyage to Townsville, its first intended port of call.
The timeline: The men left Airlie Beach in northern Queensland sometime on Sunday April 15. At 06:45pm Sunday evening, the men put out a routine radio call notifying Volunteer Marine Rescue of their position at George Point, south of Bowen. A VMR spokesman said the contact was not a distress call. No other radio communication has been reported from Kaz II.
Kaz II was found drifting about 80 nautical miles east of Townsville off the north Queensland coast on Wed April 18 by a coastal patrol aircraft. Rescue workers only confirmed there was no one aboard when they reached the boat early Friday April 20.
The weather: Bureau of Meteorology records for the region show that while wind speed was 20 knots at 9am on Sunday, April 15, and the next day, the winds peaked at 46 knots at about 5pm Sunday, nearly two hours before the final recorded call at 6.45pm. Greg Connor, from the Australian Bureau of Meteorology, said there was no reason to believe it was a weather-related incident. He added that the sailors would have faced moderate southeasterly winds of about 22 mph, typical weather for this time of year. Frank Nachtigal, the Commodore of the Abel Point Yacht Club in Airlie Beach, said the waters the men were sailing in were manageable for even the most inexperienced sailors.
The Evidence:
• Kaz II was found drifting about 80 nautical miles east of Townsville off the north Queensland coast Wed April 18.
• Three life jackets and the emergency beacon were still on board but no life rafts. There was a dinghy on board still on its davits.
• The table was set for a meal with food and cutlery in place.
• Mobile phones, sunglasses and three wallets were placed on the table in front of the empty chairs.
• The GPS was working and things below deck were normal except for the absence of crew.
• The beds had recently been slept in.
• The men's medicine and clothes still in place.
• Here is the description by the first rescue diver to board Kaz II: "The engine was still running at that stage and it had a real eerie feel. The door was wide open and I could see downstairs, so I cautiously walked down there not knowing what to expect -- not knowing whether someone was injured and couldn't get help or whether something sinister had happened. I went down to the eating area and sitting on the table were two laptops that were both on, a Sunday paper, a video camera, cameras, mobile phones, wallets, watches, the beds had been slept in, there was medication and clothes -- nothing was out of place and everything was so neat. One thing that was especially odd was that everything was still on the table so they mustn't have gone through any rough weather. Something else unusual was that the radio wasn't working."
• A fishing line with a bright orange lure is also tangled around one of the rudders.
• And here’s a quote from Emergency Management Queensland helicopter rescue crewman Phil Livingstone: "There was neatly placed shorts, sunglasses, cap, sitting on the back deck, unruffled like they'd gone for a swim." He said alongside the clothing was a fishing rod with its line in the water.
• The headsail was shredded.
• Besides the shredded headsail, there was no indication of any other damage.
• Bumpers were out as seen in the photos: 1 starboard and 3 port.
• Investigators who examined the yacht's global positioning system said it had been drifting with the wind and currents since Sunday April 15.
• Investigators noted that there was nothing to indicate the yacht had capsized at any stage.

OK, so what happened to these guys? They didn’t just vanish into thin air. Here are some of my thoughts based on the information that is available to date.
Maybe they went overboard involuntarily, as in washed overboard. However, it seems unlikely that all 3 would be washed overboard at once. Furthermore, the weather around the time of their last radio contact was fine according to the weather service. The fact that there was a set table on the abandoned Kaz II upon which there were numerous articles makes it very unlikely that they were hit by a wave big enough to wash them overboard. The clothes neatly folded on the deck also mitigates against this scenario. The shredded jib does not indicate bad weather as it is well known that a sail left to luff in the breeze for an extended period will deteriorate and finally tear.
Someone was quoted as saying that none of the men were strong swimmers. It is possible that one of the men fell overboard and needed rescue. A second one dives in to help him and gets into trouble himself. The third guy jumps in and before you know it, the boat has drifted out of reach and the sharks have a feast (There are plenty of sharks in those waters.). This scenario is possible but would have required very poor decision-making on the part of the last 2 crewmembers. One of the photos of Kaz II clearly shows that there is a red ring buoy on the guardrail. Surely, anyone who has been described as “ocean-wise” would think of throwing the ring buoy to the struggling swimmer(s). The neatly folded clothes do not fit with this scenario either.
They could have decided to go in for a pre-dinner dip. If they were really dumb, or just drunk, they might have all gone in together only to see their boat drift off….and the sharks.
A suicide pact? Also a possibility but we don’t know enough about their personal lives to speculate on this intelligently. However, I still think this is an unlikely scenario. Jumping overboard to drown or get eaten by sharks is not a very pleasant way to end it all. Better to swallow a pill, down a couple of cold ones and get into your bunk and drift off into oblivion.
Pirates! Possible. Piracy on the high seas is not uncommon. The fact that the bumpers were out indicates that the crew prepared the boat for another vessel to come alongside. However, if they were taken by bad guys, they it appears they were made to strip and neatly fold their clothes on deck prior to stepping onto the other vessel. One would also have to accept that the captors had no interest in loot as we know that many valuable items including wallets, watches and laptops were left onboard.
Maybe these guys just wanted to disappear for whatever reason. Again, we know too little about their personal lives to speculate on possible motives but these things happen. A secret pre-arranged pick-up at sea and away you go to a small tucked-away village in Thailand.
They could have been up to no good. This is unlikely to be a drug deal gone bad as those usually end up very messy (at least in the movies). Rather, this may have been something illegal that worked like a charm…and we find our 3 chaps living in luxury in that little village in Thailand.
The latest on the Internet is that the official search has been called off but that the families have put together an ongoing search. Also, 25 members from the Proserpine State Emergency Service (SES) unit in north Queensland will be on a training run this weekend around George Point and Gloucester Island near Airlie Beach and have offered to look for the men. I wish them luck.
What are you thoughts on this mystery? Have I missed anything? Can you think of any other possible scenarios that fit the evidence? Please let me know by posting a comment.
Cheers.

Joseph Froncioni

Kaz II

Virginia’s Gun Legislation Sucks

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-04-17T06:56:58-03:00

Second Amendment madness in the late great US of A.

While my heart goes out to the friends and families of the shooting victims at Virginia Tech, I cannot help thinking that you reap what you sow. How many more shootings will it take to make Americans realize that free and easy access to deadly weapons no longer has a place in enlightened societies. A nut with a baseball bat is one thing; a nut with an assault weapon is quite another.
Virginia has some of the weakest gun legislation in America. Here is a summary of Virginia gun laws from the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence website:

Anti-Trafficking  Is there a one-handgun-per-month limit on gun sales? Yes
Assault Weapons  Are there limitations on assault weapons and magazines? No
Attorney General Regulations  May Attorney General regulate guns? No
Background Check At State Level  Do state police perform a background check in addition to federal NICS check? Yes
Ballistic Fingerprinting  Must handguns be ballistic fingerprinted prior to sale? No
CCW Limits  May police limit carrying concealed handguns? No
Child Access Prevention - CAP  Are gun owners held accountable for leaving guns accessible to kids? Yes
Child-Safety Locks  Must locking devices be sold with guns? No
Gun Manufacturer Accountability  Do cities have authority to hold gun makers legally liable? No
Gun Show Checks  Are background checks required at gun shows? No
Juvenile Possession  Are minors restricted from possessing guns? Partial
Juvenile Sale  Is it illegal to sell guns to kids? Partial
License or Permit to Purchase  Is a license/permit required to buy handguns? No
Local Gun Laws - Preemption  May cities enact laws stronger than the state's? No
Record Keeping  May police maintain gun sale records? Partial
Registration  Are all guns registered with law enforcement? No
Safety Standards  Are there consumer safety standards on guns? No
Safety Training  Is safety training required for handgun buyers? No
Saturday Night Specials  Are there limitations on 'junk' handguns? No
School Zones  Is it illegal for CCW permit holders to carry guns into schools? Yes
Secondary Sales  Are background checks required on 'private' gun sales? No
Waiting Period  Is there a waiting period on gun sales? No

Lets see what the next few weeks brings but my bet is that the NRA is already preparing vigorous action to counteract and move to change the existing gun laws. Sad.

Oh, and just one more thing. I just watched a CNN interview with the governor of Virginia, Timothy Kaine, who said Virginia is a leader in gun legislation. He said he's particularly proud of the fact that you are limited to one handgun purchase a month in his state. Senator John McCain, the Republican presidential candidate (You know, the one who said he didn't know the answer when asked by a reporter if condoms prevented the transmission of AIDS.) said, “This brutal attack was not caused by nor should it lead to restrictions on the Second Amendment, which guarantees an individual right to keep and bear arms.” Is it just me or is this fucking nuts.

Joseph Froncioni

Einstein, Hitler, God

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-04-16T20:07:27-03:00

More atheism.

I was recently discussing with a friend the inverse correlation between religiosity and education and/or scientific training (some would like to say intelligence although this is more controversial) that many researchers have demonstrated when he pointed out that Einstein, intelligent as he was, believed in God. As our conversation got more heated, he also brought up the old chestnut that many of the world’s most evil men, Hitler for example, were atheists. Contrary to my friend’s beliefs, there is substantial documentary evidence that Einstein was an atheist and that Hitler was a Catholic.
The impression that Einstein believed in God may have come from a misinterpretation of his 1929 letter to Rabbi Herbert Goldstein of New York in which he stated: "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings.”
Many of his other writings make it clear that Einstein did not believe in a personal God in the same sense as the God of Abraham or Moses. Here is a sampling of quotes attributed to him:

• “It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.”
•    “I cannot conceive of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals, or would directly sit in judgment on creatures of his own creation. I cannot do this in spite of the fact that mechanistic causality has, to a certain extent, been placed in doubt by modern science.” March, 1954
•       “I cannot conceive of a personal God who would directly influence the actions of individuals, or would directly sit in judgment on creatures of his own creation. I cannot do this in spite of the fact that mechanistic causality has, to a certain extent, been placed in doubt by modern science. My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance-but for us, not for God.” August, 1927
•       "From the viewpoint of a Jesuit priest I am, of course, and have always been an atheist.... I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is a childlike one. You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our being." 1945
•       "Thus I came--despite the fact I was the son of entirely irreligious (Jewish) parents--to a deep religiosity, which, however, found an abrupt ending at the age of 12. Through the reading of popular scientific books I soon reached the conviction that much in the stories of the Bible could not be true. The consequence was a positively fanatic [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived...Suspicion against every kind of authority grew out of this experience, a skeptical attitude... has never left me..." Autobiographical notes, 1945

Hitler was born and bred a Catholic. Moreover, he was inculcated from an early age with the belief that the Jews were ultimately responsible for the death of Jesus Christ, a concept not unsupported by the Vatican prelates of the time. Anti-Semitism, therefore, constituted a normal and accepted part of the cultural landscape Hitler grew up in. John Toland wrote of Hitler: "Still a member in good standing of the Church of Rome despite detestation of its hierarchy, he carried within him its teaching that the Jew was the killer of god. The extermination, therefore, could be done without a twinge of conscience since he was merely acting as the avenging hand of god - so long as it was done impersonally, without cruelty. Himmler was pleased to murder with mercy. He ordered technical experts to devise gas chambers which would eliminate masses of Jews efficiently and 'humanely', then crowded the victims into boxcars and sent them east to stay in ghettos until the killing centers in Poland were completed."
The following quotes are evidence of his religiosity:

•       "I believe today that I am acting in the sense of the Almighty Creator. By warding off the Jews, I am fighting for the Lord's work. " 1938
•       "Christ was the greatest early fighter in the battle against the world enemy, the Jews . . . The work that Christ started but could not finish, I--Adolf Hitler--will conclude." 1926
•       "Therefore, I am convinced that I am acting as the agent of our Creator. By fighting off the Jews, I am doing the Lord's work." Mein Kampf, 1925
•       "I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so," 1941

So much for those two misconceptions.

Joseph Froncioni

Conservapedia dot com

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-04-08T15:29:51-03:00

The online encyclopedia for idiots.

The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism. Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919)

I found it. Yup! I’ve finally discovered where George Dubya gets his information. I know where he does his research before invading countries. I know where he does his background checks before appointing people to important posts. I have found the very fount of wisdom from which the President drinks.
Consevapedia is the Christian fundamentalist version of Wikipedia. Describing itself as “A conservative encyclopedia you can trust.” Conservapedia strives to be “family friendly” and “clean”. It claims that its content is “true and verifiable”. Let me give you a flavor of this encyclopedia by citing excerpts from some entries I came across. They are listed here in no particular order.

• American Indians: “…Current anthropological and historical models have the first Native Americans crossing the Bering land bridge sometime after the Great Flood….”
• Theory of Evolution: You’ll see RED when you go to this one. All other encyclopedias I know of have the entry as Evolution, not Theory of evolution. The article opens with: “The Theory of evolution is a materialist explanation of the history of life on earth.” Next line: “An article by CBS News begins with the observation that, "Americans do not believe that humans evolved…” The article is basically a short put-down of evolution and a very lengthy defense of intelligent design. For a really good laugh, have a read of the reference list.
• Abortion: The bulk of the article focuses on the health hazards of abortion…such as breast cancer, would you believe?
• Sex: There is no entry for sex; one is redirected to Gender. Why!?
• Homosexuality: “Homosexuality is condemned in both Old and New Testaments. It is mentioned directly four times in the Bible.” …and other good stuff.
• Science: This is what I found under Science: “Bold textItalic textLink title THE EARTH IS 4.5 BILLION YEARS OLD. CRAZY LOONS!!!!!” Someone’s taking the mickey out of them?...hee hee.
• Condom: “The page you were trying to view has been deleted and protected to prevent re-creation.” …I kid you not!
• Reproduction: “This article was blanked due to vandalism.” …hmm…
• Moscow: Moscow is the capital of Russia. Alternatively, Moscow is a city in Idaho across the border from Pullman, Washington, in the rolling Palouse hill country.” Well that was very informative…

Ok, so I’ve had my little fun but the very sad thing is that in this, the information age, millions of residents living in what is arguably the most technologically advanced nation in the world will go to this site for information…and get misinformation. Carl Sagan, I’m sorry old pal but I fear the candle gutters more than ever.

“The suppression of uncomfortable ideas may be common in religion or in politics, but it is not the path to knowledge, and there's no place for it in the endeavor of science…” Carl Sagan

Joseph Froncioni

Designing Me

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-04-04T23:24:00-03:00

How I got to love design.

INNOCENCE

Looking back, I think it all started in Flushing Meadows, New York. The year was 1964 and I had reached the palindromic age of 11. My father, then in his mid-thirties, was, as always, well informed and ever curious about the world around him. Voracious reader, it is very likely that he came across some article in TIME or LIFE that piqued his interest and so it was that one summer day he informed me that we were headed for the 1964 New York City World’s Fair. This would be a “boys’ trip” with my uncle Dino coming for the ride and my mother staying behind with Andy, my young brother.
I knew nothing of the existence of design or architecture of course and the excitement I felt at the time was no doubt the result of childish curiosity rather than serious contemplation. However, some of the more vivid memories I retain of this event most certainly represent the primitive awakenings of my esthetic consciousness. Walking onto the fairgrounds for me was like stepping into the future. Although much of what I was to see went straight over my head, I realized that I was witnessing something very special indeed.
The 1964 New York City World’s Fair, held in Flushing Meadows Park, NY, was different as it was the first and only significant world exhibition ever to have sanction withheld by the Bureau International des Expositions, the Paris body that governs World Expos. The organizers of the Fair were aggressive New York businessmen who hoped the event would be an economic boon to the City. They had chosen as the theme of the Fair “Peace Through Understanding” and even with the lack of an official sanction from the BIE managed to attract quite a number of international participants (Spain, Vatican City, Japan, Sweden, Mexico, Austria and Denmark to name a few). The stars of the show though were the corporate participants: IBM, General Motors, Westinghouse, Bell, Dupont, Parker Pen and SC Johnson (of Johnson’s wax fame). These corporations had the money and they were out to put on a show.

The Vatican Pavilion included Michelangelo’s La Pieta. Although I did not know it then, this is the only time La Pieta has ever left the confines of the Vatican. Viewing, of course was very controlled: we stood on a moving sidewalk, in itself a first for me, and gawked at the masterpiece as it went from left to right across our visual field. I was impressed but probably not half as impressed as my dad since he knew just about everything there was to know about the renaissance.
I later realized however that far more prescient for me would be the IBM Corporation Pavilion. Charles Eames had collaborated with Eero Saarinen to come up with a concept for the IBM Pavilion and Eames was responsible for exhibition material, film presentations, graphics and pavilion signage. This was the beginning of the information age and Eames set out to demonstrate how computers would become part of our everyday lives.
The first thing that struck me was the structure called the “Ovoid Theater”. This was an elevated egg-shaped cinema where the audience watched a multi-screen presentation called THINK that had been entirely created by the Eames Office. What I remember most is that we sat in a grandstand directly below the Ovoid Theater and listened to the host of the show who had been lowered from the belly of the theater on a tiny futuristic podium as if by magic. Then, the whole grandstand we were seated in rose into the belly of the theater where we watched the show. Impressive especially for an 11 yo.
Also in the IBM Pavilion was an exhibit called MATHEMATICA that traced the history of mathematics and illustrated many of the important mathematical concepts and quirks. I was fascinated by the various displays although many of them went far beyond my knowledge of mathematics. At the time, I had no idea that MATHEMATICA was Eames’ brainchild. Two weeks ago, some 43 years later, I found myself in the MATHEMATICA exhibit at the Boston Museum of Science. This exhibit is an exact duplicate of the original 1964 MATHEMATICA and was installed in 1981 complete with the original post-modern design elements.
I am convinced that the wonders of the 1964 Worlds Fair planted a seed in me that quickly took hold; from that moment, I became interested in why things were as they were and what made some objects more appealing than others. Now at 11, I was still a child and as such found very little outlet for these early feelings. This would soon change.
Then of course came Expo 67, arguably one of the greatest and best-attended World Expositions ever held. Like many people in the Montreal area, I had a season pass to Expo and over the course of the summer I managed to explore every square meter of the grounds. With the ’64 World’s Fair fresh in my mind, I was eager to catch another glimpse into the future and Expo did not disappoint.
In terms of architecture, innovation was everywhere. HABITAT 67 was a building and living concept by Montreal architect Moshe Safdie. A complex of interlocking concrete living modules, HABITAT 67 combined the independence of individual dwellings with the convenience of apartment living. I was also impressed by the HABITAT furniture designed for the building. Habitat chairs were especially futuristic.
A number of pavilions really broke the mold. Buckminster Fuller’s geodesic dome formed the American Pavilion. The German pavilion was a multi-peaked tent of steel netting and translucent plastic. Canada had an inverted pyramid and the USSR a huge glass structure facing a gigantic hammer and sickle sculpture. The Netherlands Pavilion had an exterior made of 56 km of tubular aluminum and the very impressive British Pavilion a magnificent white tower reminiscent giving the building the appearance of a futuristic fort.
The French Pavilion is still in use today as Le Casino de Montreal. I retain vivid memories of this pavilion primarily for the unique and in some ways “space age” furniture on exhibition within it. Two chairs that are now very familiar to me are Oliver Mourgue’s Djinn series (of 2001: A Space Odyssey fame) and Pierre Paulin’s Ribbon Chair.

AWAKENING
I take you now to 1972. I was 19 and in the last year of my collegiate course (CEGEP) at McGill university. The seed had grown and I was now finding my way around the world of Bach, jazz and art. That year, my dad and I took another road trip south to visit the groundbreaking New York Museum of Modern Art exhibition Italy: The New Domestic Landscape. Italy had been at the forefront of industrial design for some time and MoMA’s exhibition was intended to ratify the leading position of Italian creativity as well as highlight Italian designers' focus on encouraging a free, informal lifestyle. All the greats of the time participated: Gaetano Pesce, Joe Colombo, Vico Magistrati, Mario Bellini, Richard Sapper, Achille and Pier Giacomo Castiglioni, Marco Zanuso, Ettore Sottsass and Gae Aulenti to name only some of them.
I was blown away by what I saw. This was cutting-edge stuff: new, innovative materials, multi-function units and modular urban environments all designed for a rapidly changing world. This exhibition convinced me that good design could be widely applied in our everyday lives to the betterment of all. This was the start of my design addiction.
In 1974, I traveled to Boston with my good friend Gruri Karady where we stayed with his uncle, an architect and design aficionado. This is the very first time I got to experience what it was like to actually live with good design. This guy had surrounded himself with many of the classics of the time. His favorites were Harry Bertoia’s welded steel lattice chair series including the Diamond Chair and the Bird Lounge Chair. We had dinner in Eero Saarinen Tulip chairs around a large Saarinen Dining Table of white marble. I was a baby in a candy store.
In 1978, I married Simone Guillon. We were medical students and, as is often the case for young professionals, very naïve about the real world. For reasons I won’t go into, the marriage lasted less than 2 years. During those 2 years however, my love for design got an unexpected boost. Turns out that Jacques Guillon, Simone’s dad, was an icon in the world of industrial design. It took me some time to find this out and much of what I know about him I learned later on.
Jacques settled in Montreal, Canada after the War and after attending McGill University, he founded Jacques S. Guillon & Associates Ltd. (later to be known as GSM Ltd.). By combining the disciplines of industrial design, interior design, graphic design and architecture his firm managed to meet a wide variety of client demands. Consequently, the firm won contracts with such prestigious companies as Air France, Air Canada, The Aluminum Company of Canada Limited, Morgan Trust Company, and Canadian General Electric Company. Guillon created the symbol and signage system for the Montreal Métro, developed the coachwork for the subway trains and designed an illuminated advertising display unit for the subway and the buses, an idea copied in many North American cities. His work in the transportation industry included the design of the Alouette snowmobile (ridden by Gilles Villeneuve during his snowmobile racing career) and the L.C.R. high-speed train for Via Rail (Senior designer: Morley Smith). The firm participated in the creation of the scientific exhibit at the Pavilion of Man at Expo 67 and many others at the National Museum of Science and Technology in Ottawa. Jacques also designed the String Chair which appeared in LIFE Magazine and cooperated with Michel Dallaire on the Habitat Garden Chair.

PASSION
In 1980 at age 27, I purchased my very first designer piece. La Barca, I Tavoli, an ash dinning room table made by Cassina and designed by Piero de Martini in 1975, was way beyond my means but I felt it was time to indulge in my passion. Purchased at Van Leeuwen Boomkamp in Ottawa, this table has become an integral part of my life. The table seats 10 comfortably and I cannot count the number of splendid meals that have been served at it, the quantity of fine wine that has been spilt on it or the number of fists that have struck it in lively discussion over the past 27 years. La Barca, however seem none the worse for it as you can see in the photo.
The ‘80’s were busy years for me. Orthopedic residency, marriage to Josée and a 2-year fellowship in Australia preceded our move to Bermuda in 1988. I did manage to find the time for a few small acquisitions: TIZIO (Richard Sapper, 1972 for Artemide), ATON TERRA (Ernesto Gismondi, 1980 for Artemide) and MEGARON (Gianfranco Frattini, 1979 for Artemide) floor lamps and a KEVI chair (1973) by Danish designer Jørgen Rasmussen. It is during this period that I first became (and remain to this day) a member and frequent visitor of MoMA.
It was after our move to Bermuda that my yen for chairs really took hold. This may sound a bit paradoxical to those of you who know Bermuda. Isolated English colony that it is, modern design is nearly non-existent here and what little there is, like sexual depravity, is best enjoyed behind closed doors.
For those readers who have the same love of design as I do, there is, of course, no need to justify chair collecting. For the others, let me just plead my case by pointing out that the chair has been an object of attention since the dawn of civilization. More symbolic than utilitarian though most of man’s history, the chair has been both a blessing and a curse to mankind. While having something stable to sit on may have been an improvement over squatting on the ground or sitting on one’s haunches in many circumstances, there is no doubt the modern-day predicament of long days spent sitting is distinctly unphysiological and most likely a significant cause of low back pain.
Throughout history, certain chairs have been admired for their beauty and workmanship. However, it is only in the past 150 years that chairs have been elevated to art objects. During this period, chair design and manufacturing evolved from an essentially artisanal process to an industrial one. Architects, with their understanding of engineering, design and new materials were ideally positioned to take advantage of new technologies and express themselves through chair design. Indeed, it would not be too much of an exaggeration to say that most great architects have at one time or another designed a chair. Too numerous to count, chairs from the last 150 years come in all shapes and sizes and I have no doubt that books such as Catherine and Peter Fiell’s 1000 Chairs cover but a fraction of them.
What follows is a list of the chairs I’ve acquired since 1988. Perhaps, I should more properly call it a list of “objects to sit on” as some of the items cannot rightly be called chairs. Also included in the list is an object that you can’t sit on at all, the Eames Leg Splint. This is included because the techniques devised by the Eames’ to produce the splint were essential to the development of their iconic molded plywood chairs. Many of the chairs are used daily whereas some are more sculptural and never used. Here they are in alphabetical order:

• AALTO TALL STOOL WITH BACK, Alvar Aalto, 1930-33. International Contract Furnishings, USA. (4)
• AERON CHAIR, Bill Strumpf, Don Chadwick, 1994. Herman Miller, USA.
• BUTTERFLY STOOL, Sori Yanagi, 1956. Tendo Mokko, Japan.
• COSTES CHAIR, Philippe Starck, 1982. Driade, Italy.
• CROSS CHECK, Frank Gehry, 1991. Knoll, USA.
• DCW*, Charles and Ray Eames. 1946. Herman Miller, USA. (*Dining Chair Wood)
• ERO|S|, Philippe Starck, 1999. Kartell s.p.a., Italy. (8)
• FOLDING CHAIR, Anonymous Sailor, c.1905. (2)
• HILL HOUSE 1, Charles Rennie Mackintosh, 1902. Cassina, Italy. (2)
• KIOSK CHAIR, Olivier Leblois, 1992. Kiosk Canada, Canada.
• LA CHAISE, Charles and Ray Eames, 1948. Vitra, Germany.
• LC4, Le Corbusier, Pierre Jeanneret, Charlotte Perriand, 1928. Cassina, Italy.
• LCW*, Charles and Ray Eames, 1946-1957 Herman Miller, USA. (*Lounge Chair Wood)
• LEG SPLINT, Charles and Ray Eames, 1941-1942. Evans Company, Molded Plywood Division, Los Angeles, California.
• MEZZADRO STOOL, Achille and Pier Giacomo Castiglioni, 1957. Zanotta, Italy.
• MISS TRIP, Philippe Starck, 1996. Kartell, Italy.
• MOVE, Per Øie, 1987. Stokke, Norway.
• PANTON CHAIR, Verner Panton, 1967. Vitra, Germany.
• PLASTIC SIDE CHAIR WITH “EIFFEL TOWER” BASE (DSR*), Charles and Ray Eames, 1950, Herman Miller, USA. (*Dining Side Chair Rod)
• PLIA, Giancarlo Piretti, 1969. Anonima Castelli s.p.a., Italy.
• TATO, Enrico Baleri and Denis Santachiara, 1997. Baleri Italia, Italy.
• VARIABLE BALANS, Peter Opsvik, 1979. Stokke, Norway.
• WALNUT STOOL (Shape B), Charles and Ray Eames, 1960. Herman Miller, USA.
• WASSILY, Marcel Breuer, 1925. Knoll, USA.
• WOOD CHAIR, Marc Newson, 1988. Cappellini (since 1992), Italy.
• ZIG-ZAG, Gerrit Thomas Rietveld, 1934. Cassina, Italy.

It is important to point out that in spite of my seeming obsession for seating, my interest in design is not restricted to chairs although these are certainly the loudest expression of it. I believe strongly that good design can be incorporated into all aspects of daily life and I never tire of seeking it in every object that surrounds me…often to a fault. I hope that after reading this story you will better understand my choice of the tag line for this website: living by design.

Joseph Froncioni

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-03-31T14:59:08-03:00

A few questions for Bible literalists.

I've seen the following several times on various sites and I couldn't resist posting it here. What I would really like to see is the response...from any fundamentalist.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan,

Jim

OBJECT 10

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-03-25T10:47:23-03:00

Eames' DSR chair.

I still look at this chair and can’t believe it was designed in 1948, 5 years before I was born. I think you’ll agree with me that Charles and Ray Eames were ahead of their time and possessed with a vision that was largely responsible for what we now know as Mid-Century Modern.
Let me take you back to 1948. This was the post-war era and the Eames’ were extremely conscious of the need for cheap, functional, reliable, mass-produced goods for America’s young families. They had contributed to the war effort and they were determined to do the same in the post-war period. Moreover, the Eames’ had always been fascinated with new materials especially those that allowed them to do more with less. The first design iteration of this chair was made of stamped metal and was submitted to The Museum of Modern Art’s 1948 International Competition for Low-Cost Furniture Design. The competition was conceived to address the urgent need in the post-war period for low-cost housing and furniture designs adaptable to small housing units and included the following in its catalogue: “To serve the needs of the vast majority of people, we must have furniture that is adaptable to small apartments and houses, furniture that is well designed yet moderate in price, that is comfortable but not bulky and that can be easily moved, stored and cared for; in other words, mass-produced furniture that is planned and executed to fit the needs of modern living, production and merchandising.” Charles Eames wrote: “Metal stamping is the technique synonymous with mass production in this country, yet “acceptable” furniture in this material is noticeably absent…By using forms that reflect the positive nature of the stamping technique in combination with a surface treatment that cuts down heat transfer, dampens sound and is pleasant to the touch, we feel that it is possible to free metal furniture from the negative bias from which it has suffered.”

The International Competition for Low-Cost Furniture Design attracted 3,000 submissions. The Eames’ partnered with engineers from UCLA to submit their designs for low-cost metal-stamped seating and were awarded second place (shared with a submission by David J. Pratt) in the Seating Units category.
Alas, the metal-stamped chairs never went into production. Instead, the Eames’ partnered with Zeneth Plastics, a company that had made fiberglass reinforced radar domes during the War and in 1950, in collaboration with Herman Miller, started commercial production of the DSR (Dining Side-chair Rod) chair. At first, the shells were made of Zenaloy, a plastic resin reinforced with fiberglass. Customers had the choice of several interchangeable supports – wood legs, rod legs, wire struts, a cast aluminum pedestal with casters and birch rockers on wire struts. Supports were attached with rubber mounts. The molding was comfortably anatomical complete with a waterfall seat edge. The DSR became the first un-upholstered plastic chair to be mass-produced.
Still produced by Herman Miller today and commonly known as the Eiffel Chair, the DSR is now made of much more environmentally friendly recycled polypropylene. Apart from this change, the chairs are identical to the 1950 originals.

Joseph Froncioni

Vitamin Scam

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-03-02T12:02:02-04:00

Vitamins can kill.

I was having dinner with some friends last night when the same old topic of food supplements and vitamins reared its ugly head again. “What do you mean vitamins don’t do any good? Come-on. Everyone needs vitamins. Well any way, at least they can’t hurt you.” You know, I’ve been dealing with this ridiculous misconception for years and I’m getting a bit tired of it. My position has always been that for the vast majority of people, vitamins are a waste of money. The battle, of course has been a losing one. Health in a bottle whether pitched from the back of a covered wagon or delivered as a slick TV ad has sold well for hundreds of years. Folks can’t seem to get it through their heads that like happiness, you can’t buy health.
Last year, Americans spent $2.3 billion on nutritional supplements. A new study, that appeared in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association found a higher risk of death for people taking antioxidant vitamins: 4 percent for those taking vitamin E, 7 percent for beta carotene and 16 percent for vitamin A. It is important to note that the study was carried out as a “meta-analysis”. This type of study looks at a very large number of other studies (in this case 47 double blind randomized studies involving 180,938 participants) that have been selected for their quality of research.
Many researchers now believe antioxidants work only when they are in food, or that people who eat vitamin-rich food are healthier simply because they take better care of themselves. Furthermore, it has been known for quite some time that beta-carotene supplements have been found to increase lung cancer risk in smokers.
Eat a healthy diet, have a couple of glasses of wine every day, exercise regularly and manage the everyday risks in you life in a smart way. Apart from this, your health is pretty much out of your hands. And…if you really feel you need to give your money away, there are worthier causes than the vitamin and food supplement industry.

An old Italian saying pretty well says it all (I'll leave you to find the translation): "Mangia bene e caca forte non avrai paura della morta."

Joseph Froncioni

Speed on Ice

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-03-01T01:52:00-04:00

A speed skater who's headed for the Olympics.

I’m ashamed to admit it but I can’t skate to save my life…and I’m Canadian. Hey listen, I skied instead as lame as that sounds. I am happy to report, however, that there are members of my extended family who can skate and damned well at that. One in particular is making a name for himself in the world of short-track speed skating and there is every indication that by the time the 2010 Olympics roll around, he will have found a berth on the Canadian Olympic Team.

Nicholas Bean (in the lead at left) is my second cousin and at 19, he is arguably the best junior short-track skater Canada has. His list of accomplishments is impressive indeed. He has just won the GOLD in the 1500m and the BRONZE in the 500m at this year’s Canada Winter Games. Earlier this year, he came 4th in the 1500m at the 2007 World Junior Championships, Czech Republic. In December 2005, Nick set the world record in the 1,500m in 2:12:702.
Nick has what it takes and we’re all very proud of him.
GO NICK!

Joseph Froncioni

ADDENDUM More of Nick's results from this year's Canada Winter Games: GOLD in the 1000m, SILVER in the 3000m.

Blogger’s High

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-28T10:53:20-04:00

Reddit rocks!

Interesting thing blogging; sometimes feels like exhibitionism for intellectuals. For the first time ever it’s possible for you to expose your thoughts to hoards of prying eyes. Mind-boggling. Not so long ago you had to get your work published before anyone but your mother would read it.
Some blogs have more appeal than others. They find an audience of dedicated readers early on. Others are a bit slower to take off. Mine is one of the latter and I think I know why. Quickswood.com began as a family blog after my brother Andy gave us the domain name as a present. The idea was that all four of us would use the blog as a medium to express ourselves and communicate with family and friends so we gave it the catchy tag line, “Amblings and Ramblings of a Family”. Well, it didn’t work out that way. Turns out I was the only one who was interested in the damned thing. Now it’s become my blog although the transition is not quite complete and I’m contemplating a totally new look for the site.
One of the problems with this blog is the lack of direction. I guess I’m interested in too many things. Short list: photography, religion, design and art, politics and lifestyle issues. But, that’s not going to change anytime soon so the readers who come to the blog will need to be of a similar ilk.
I had in interesting blogging experience this weekend. A few days ago, a friend of mine posted a link to one of my articles on reddit.com. Before the article appeared I was getting 10 – 20 hits a day for a total of ~2000 over the past year. As soon as the article was posted on reddit, the hits started. In no time at all, the total number of hits had doubled. Someone else then submitted a second one of my articles and BAM! my hit rate went up to more than 10,000 a day. In fact, one of the articles went all the way up to number 1 on the front page of reddit and stayed there for more than 12 hours! Holy blogbait Batman! (See the Google Analytics screenshot below.)
Now along with the hits came comments, some posted on the site, some on reddit and yet others emailed directly. The vast majority were very positive and I must admit it’s a real thrill having thousands of people reading my stuff…and a bit scary as well. What amazes me though is how anonymity can bring out the worst in people. Some anonymous posters don a garb of frankness and boldness sometimes bordering on outright rudeness and say things in a way they would not have the courage to in a signed post, never mind face to face. Here’s a good example: “This page is so ugly that it hurt my eyes physically. Had to copy/paste the article to read it.” This guy has a problem with the layout and color scheme of my website and I certainly take his point. Black text on an orange background may not be such a good idea (although lots of the readers love it) and I’m considering changing it. However, there is, I hope you agree, more polite ways of pointing this out.
Blogs facilitate meme dissemination and function as vectors. Websites like reddit accelerate this dissemination by increasing exposure to the meme. The Internet transmits memes with high fidelity. The fecundity of the memes depends on their appeal and content. To think that just a few days ago, my views on running injuries and circumcision (…somehow, these 2 topics just don’t seem to belong in the same sentence) were known to a mere handful of others. Now, those memes are out there somewhere and it will be interesting to see just what happens to them.
To end on a lighter note, I visited my mother yesterday and she asked me to say Hi to her next time I posted an article so …”HI MOM!” She also said I looked a bit tired and that maybe we should stop entertaining so much. “What do you mean entertaining too much? We haven’t been entertaining.” I replied. “Yes you have.” she continued. “I’ve just been to your website and saw that you had 23,000 visitors and I think that’s way too much work for you and Josée." “…ah, mum…forget it.”

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 9

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-18T10:42:17-04:00

Eames' DCW Chair.

Charles and Ray Eames were remarkable designers. This is their DCW (dining chair wood) Chair, one of my favorites. In production from 1946 – 1953 and reintroduced by Herman Miller in 1994, the DCW is made of 5 molded plywood components linked by rubber shock mounts. The compound curved seat and back lend a level of comfort unequaled among solid chairs.

The Eames’ had developed various techniques to produce the plywood leg splints (see OBJECT 1 posted previously) and stretchers commissioned by the US Navy in 1942 and these were applied directly to furniture production. Here’s what Charles Eames had to say about his molded plywood chairs: “One of the things we had committed ourselves to was trying to do a chair with a hard surface that was as comfortable as it could be in relation to the human body and also that would be self-explanatory as you looked at it – no mysteries, so that the techniques of how it was made would be part of the aesthetics. We felt very strongly about this, because at the time there were so many things made with the opposite idea in mind, that is, to disguise a thing as if it were made in the Gobelin factories in Paris, when in fact it had been manufactured by modern techniques.”

This chair is one of the first successful examples of modern furniture produced for the mass market. It was selected as "Best Design of the Century" by Time magazine in 1999 and remains one of the best-recognized objects of modernism to this day. It resides in the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

Joseph Froncioni

CIRCUMCISION

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-09T07:52:00-04:00

My thoughts about male genital mutilation.

(Notice to reader: The following article reflects the views and biases of the author. Unbiased articles are boring, and besides, what’s the use of having a blog if you can’t say what you want. I have made every attempt, however, to base my statements on verifiable fact. If there is any part of this article you do not agree with, say so.)

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw

My father refused to have me circumcised and for this I remain eternally grateful. He was an enlightened, well-informed man and even in 1953 when routine infant circumcision was more the rule than the exception, he considered the procedure an abomination. If he were alive today, he would no doubt be proud that I am writing on this, the topic of numerous discussions between us and one about which he never softened his stance (…sorry).
My interest in circumcision has been rekindled primarily by the recent media coverage female genital mutilation has attracted. This latter practice, based as it is in ignorance and superstition, no doubt deserves all the attention it has garnered and no clear-thinking or fair-minded person can but vociferously support its complete abolition. What puzzles me though is that among these clear-thinking and fair-mined individuals are those who would, as they decry female genital mutilation, show not one bit of hesitation at having their male children so mutilated. Granted, the female version of this assault, and assault it is, I assure you, is much more harmful and disfiguring for the victim. However, I intend to make the case that male infant circumcision, unless performed for true therapeutic indications, is nothing short of medical assault, constitutes a serious abuse of the infant’s human rights, has no place in an enlightened society and should rightly be referred to as male genital mutilation.

ORIGINS

I will deal first with the origins of male circumcision, a topic about which there is little consensus. We know from Egyptian hieroglyphs that circumcision has been practiced for

more than 5,000 years. According the anthropologist Desmond Morris, the practice may have arisen from an Egyptian cult of snake worship and the belief that as with the snake that sheds its skin and undergoes a rebirth, so can the penis through circumcision. Ashley Montagu, on the other hand, suggests that Egyptian circumcision represented a sign of affiliation to the cult of the sun god Amon-Re. The Egyptian myth suggests that Amon-Re mutilated his genitals in some way. Circumcision was also common among ancient Semitic peoples who themselves may have borrowed it from the Egyptians. From Wikipedia: The Book of Jeremiah, written in the sixth century BCE, lists the Egyptians, Jews, Edomites, Ammonites, and Moabites as circumcising cultures. Herodotus, writing in the fifth century BCE, would add the Colchians, Ethiopians, Phoenicians, and Syrians to that list. Male circumcision has variously been used as a right of passage, a religious dedication, an in-group mark, an out-group mark, a mark of superiority, a mark of inferiority or slavery or a manipulation of sexual aesthetics.
According to the Old Testament (Genesis, chapter 17, verses 9 – 14) God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, his offspring and his slaves. Thus, the ceremony of Brit milah, the ritual circumcision on the 8th day after birth, is obligatory for all males under Jewish religious law although there is some disagreement on this point among Jewish scholars (The Torah forbids the torture or causing of pain to any living creature, especially physically assaulting or harming another person (Exodus 21:18-27). Jewish law specifically forbids body modification, including the cutting or marking of the human body (Lev. 19:28). Jews are also required to help those who are helpless, such as newborn infants, and are exempt from performing religious duties that would cause harm to others.). The oral sucking of the bleeding penis (metzitzah b'peh) by the one who performs the cutting is now the subject of considerable controversy and is probably performed only among ultra orthodox Jews. Furthermore, more liberal Jews are questioning the very need for circumcision.
More interesting, though, is the origin of non-religious circumcision of males in the United States. Since the beginning of the twentieth century, neonatal circumcision has been the most frequently performed surgery in the US. That American attitudes to issues of sexuality are often puzzling is, in my mind, a given. When Janet Jackson’s right nipple, a very lovely one at that, I might add, was exposed to millions of innocent Americans during Superbowl XXXVIII, America was thrown into crisis. As an amused and somewhat perplexed world looked on, America writhed in moral indignation as it tallied up the damage that had been perpetrated on its young minds and souls. I mention the Janet Jackson incident simply to prime you for what follows.
The practice of non-religious male circumcision in America started in the mid-1800’s as a means of preventing masturbation. I’m kid you not. Masturbation was not only considered sinful but was also said to cause blindness, weakening of the mind, tuberculosis, warts, epilepsy as well as a variety of other ailments. It was viewed as the most dangerous form of sexuality. Furthermore, Americans of this era were very conscious of the recently popularized “germ theory of disease” and as a consequence had a great disdain for dirt and body secretions. It is no surprise that smegma (from the Greek word for soap), a normal and essential secretion under the male prepuce, was viewed as unhealthy and its elimination by circumcision seen as essential.
One of the most influential proponents of circumcision in mid-1800’s America was a physician named John Harvey Kellogg (his brother Will Keith Kellogg invented Corn Flakes). Dr. Kellogg certainly had unusual ideas about nutrition and health. Consider his approach to good health (from Wikipedia): “Kellogg made sure that the bowel of each and every patient was plied with water, from above and below. His favorite device was an enema machine ("just like one I saw in Germany") that could run fifteen gallons of water through an unfortunate bowel in a matter of seconds. Every water enema was followed by a pint of yogurt -- half was eaten, the other half was administered by enema "thus planting the protective germs where they are most needed and may render most effective service." The yogurt served to replace "the intestinal flora" of the bowel, creating what Kellogg claimed was a squeaky clean intestine.” Gulp! (See the film THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE staring Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Kellogg)
With regard to circumcision, he wrote in his Treatment for Self-Abuse and its Effects: “ A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.”
Many other factors contributed to the rise in popularity of neonatal circumcision but only a couple more will be mentioned here. A very popular parenting book, All About the Baby, published around 1890 strongly recommended infant circumcision to prevent the vice of masturbation. It is also around this time that women of the wealthier classes started having their deliveries in hospitals and consequently having their infants circumcised there as well. Circumcision thus became a class marker of those wealthy enough to afford a hospital birth.
I would recommend highly the following article entitled Porn Flakes: Kellogg, Graham and the Crusade for Moral Fiber by Carrie McLaren. In it, the author serves up Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, Graham Crackers, Granola, Shredded Wheat, Post Toasties and Post Grapenuts followed by a large cup of Postum. This entertaining, well-written piece is sure to add valuable insight into your understanding of the rise of both circumcision and breakfast cereal in America.
Routine infant circumcision saw a steady rise in popularity in English speaking countries such as the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the UK. One source estimates that the rate of infant circumcision in the US was 30% in 1900, 55% in 1925 and 72% in 1950. Since 1950, the US infant circumcision rate has remained fairly steady save for a slight decline to about 55% in the last few decades. Except for groups such as followers of the Jewish and Islamic faiths who practice circumcision for religious and cultural reasons, infant circumcision is uncommon in Asia, South America, Central America, and most of Europe. One notable exception is South Korea where circumcision was virtually unknown before the US trusteeship (1945 – 1948) and US involvement in the Korean War (1950 – 1953) but which now boasts a neonatal circumcision rate of over 95%! It is a nearly inescapable conclusion that this custom, like blue jeans, is a direct result of US cultural influences. Furthermore, surveys show that it is widely believed by South Koreans that circumcision is universal and compulsory in the world. Interesting. For a less narrow-minded view of the incidence and distribution of circumcision in the world, have a look at this website.

JUSTIFICATION

What reasons do parents give for having their children circumcised? The one I hear most often is cleanliness or genital hygiene. Yes, I agree that it’s probably easier to keep that little penis smegma-free if there’s no foreskin for it to hide under. But wait a minute! Aren’t there other areas on our bodies that accumulate unwanted stuff? What about the lint and dirt in the belly button; maybe we should start surgically obliterating belly buttons. How about those nasty boogers in your nostrils; nasal ablation would solve the problem, right? Wax and dirt buildup in the external auditory canal and ear; lop the ear off and problem solved. Now I know I’m getting a bit silly here but stay with me. The point is this: you do not surgically excise perfectly normal and functional body parts merely for ease of grooming…without the consent of the recipient to boot (More on this later.).
The other reason parents have their children circumcised is for the health benefits. They argue that many conditions such as urinary tract infections, ballanitis and phemosis are less common in circumcised males. I won’t go into these conditions in detail except to say that they are uncommon, benign and preventable by a whole variety of non-disfiguring treatments. Even if, for the sake of argument, circumcision does decrease the incidence of these benign conditions, it is not justified. If it was, we would then be compelled, no obligated, to perform prophylactic mastectomies on all our female infants as 1 in every 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer, an often fatal condition, in her lifetime.
A more recent justification for male circumcision is the prevention of infection by the AIDS virus. A recent study by the National Institutes of Health has concluded that medically performed adult circumcision significantly reduces a man's risk of acquiring HIV through heterosexual intercourse. The trial in Kenya showed a 53% reduction of HIV acquisition in circumcised men relative to uncircumcised men, while a trial in Uganda showed that HIV acquisition was reduced by 48% in circumcised men. The official NIH press release can be found here and the WHO press release here. Now, these are impressive findings and represent a major step in the fight against HIV transmission. The reason for the greater risk of HIV transmission in uncircumcised males is believed to be that intact foreskin contains Langerhans cells. These cells are part of our immune system and are active in capture, uptake and processing of antigens and are therefore felt to be the primary point of viral entry.
Do the promising results of this study justify male infant circumcision? Absolutely not. First and foremost, both the NIH and the WHO point out that the individual’s human rights must be respected and that medical circumcision requires consent. Second, the protection afforded by circumcision does not replace the other known effective prevention methods and should always be considered as part of a comprehensive prevention package, which includes correct and consistent use of male or female condoms, reduction in the number of sexual partners, delaying the onset of sexual relations, and HIV testing and counseling. Third, medical circumcision is a surgical procedure and as such is associated with a number of known complications. Finally, there exists the risk that performing medical circumcision has the potential to undermine existing protective behaviors and prevention strategies that reduce the risk of HIV infection by giving the individual a false sense of protection.

KEEP THE TIP

What’s so important about the foreskin anyway? Circumcision only removes a few millimeters of skin so what’s the big deal? Well the big deal is that the foreskin is a normal, functioning and important part of male anatomy. It is not a vestigial organ and it certainly is not just an extra piece of overhanging skin. The foreskin forms the protective covering over the head or glans of the penis. It is rich in sensory nerve fibers and movement of the foreskin back and forth over the shaft and glans provides much of the pleasurable sensation experienced during sex. The inner foreskin layer is not just "skin," but mucocutaneous tissue of a unique type found nowhere else on the body. The nerve endings in the foreskin are called Meissner's corpuscles and are similar to those found in the fingertips and lips, parts of our body that respond in a fraction of a second to light touch. In an average circumcised adult man, the area of skin that is missing because of the surgery would, when erect and unfolded, measure approximately 50 - 100 cm2 or about ½ the total surface of the penis. Males who were circumcised as infants do not usually report sexual problems linked with their circumcision, perhaps because they have never experienced sexual sensation with a foreskin. However, men circumcised as sexually active adults quite frequently complain of sexual problems arising from either reduced or altered penile sensation. (By the way, in the course of my reading, I came across the statement that the glans is insensitive to pinprick, an observation I am quite willing to accept without proof.)
To continue on this painful topic, it is very important to understand that the circumcised penis loses sensitivity in three ways (Sorry for the lengthy explanation but this is important.):

1. Loss of the foreskin nerves themselves. It has been shown that the inner foreskin possesses a greater density of nerve endings. It is thought to be more erogenous than even the glans. There is no question that the foreskin is a highly erogenous tissue. This tremendous amount of sensitivity is lost completely when the forefold of the skin system is amputated. In addition to this, the most sensitive part of the penis, the frenulum of the foreskin, is either partially or totally removed in most infant circumcisions. The frenulum is the continuation of the inner foreskin, which attaches to the underside (ventral part) of the glans. Thus, a significant percentage, if not the majority, of erogenous nerve supply to the penis is removed in circumcision at birth.  
2. Damage to the glans. The erogenous sensitivity that remains after circumcision is primarily in the glans. This is further reduced by removal of the protective foreskin which leaves the glans permanently exposed. Unlike the shaft of the penis, and most of the rest of the body, the head of the penis, does not posses its own attached skin. This structure, like the eye ball and the gums of the mouth, is a somewhat naked structure. Its surface is non-keratinized, like that of the gums, the eye ball, and the clitoris in women. That means that it does not posses a protective thick layer like the keratinized skin of the outer penile skin system. Like the gums and the eye ball, the glans of the intact penis has a retractable skin covering. The skin covering of the glans is the foreskin. The eyelid is very similar in architecture to the foreskin. If the eyelid were removed and the eyeball were to become keratinized, you'd have a much harder time seeing. The same is true of the glans. It becomes artificially keratinized (dry, hardened, discolored, and wrinkled) as a result of permanent exposure, and thus less sensitive. Because most American men are circumcised and have a glans of this nature, it is harder to notice the abnormality. But just compare the glans of an intact man with that of a circumcised man next to each other and you'll notice a big difference. Thus, in addition to removing lots of erogenous nerve endings in the inner foreskin and frenulum, circumcision further desensitizes the remaining sensitivity of the glans by leaving it exposed.  
3. Loss of skin mobility. The nerve endings in the glans are predominantly complex touch receptors also known as mechanoreceptors. This is different from the light touch receptors of the skin which detect surface friction. The mechanoreceptors are best stimulated by massage action rather than surface friction. Thus, the glans is best stimulated to feel pleasure by a rolling massage action. With an ample and highly mobile skin system that rolls over the glans with pressure from the opposing surface, this optimal stimulation of the glans is achieved while avoiding direct friction of the delicate glans surface. Direct friction tends to fire off pain receptors causing irritation and also causes further keratinization of the glans. With the skin system of the penis significantly reduced by circumcision, the mobility is essentially gone and now the penis is a static mass with no dynamic self-stimulation mechanism. Now, it must be rubbed. Direct friction is now the primary form of stimulation. So then circumcision further reduces erogenous sensitivity in the penis by reducing skin mobility and thus the ability to use the foreskin to massage the glans. The combination of foreskin and glans in concert results in an even higher level of stimulation which is unknown to the circumcised male.

COMPLICATIONS

All surgical procedures have a certain risk of complication and circumcision is no exception. The exact incidence of complications is difficult to gage exactly and varies depending on the definitions used. The American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics both estimate the rate of complications at 0.2% - 0.6%; the American Academy of Family Physicians places it at 0.1% - 35%; the Royal Australasian College of Physicians and the Canadian Pediatric Society give an estimate of 0.6% - 55%. Bleeding and infection are the most common complications in the short term. The long term complications include urinary fistulas, chordee, cysts, lymphedema, ulceration of the glans, necrosis of all or part of the penis, hypospadias, epispadias, impotence and removal of too much tissue, sometimes causing secondary phimosis. The fatality rate is estimated at 1 in 500,000.
Recently, 3 infants in NYC and 8 in Israel contracted herpes after metzizah b’peh (see above). The virus was presumably acquired from the mohel’s (Rabbi specializing in the rituals and technique of circumcision) mouth.
Circumcision is one of the most horrifying procedures I have ever witnessed in my medical career. The 4 or 5 circumcisions I attended were during my medical school years and none of them were performed with anesthesia. The memory of those infant boys strapped to the molded plastic frame screaming and writhing in pain as the Gomco clamp was tightened down around the foreskin will forever remain with me. Anyone who chooses to have his or her infant circumcised should be forced to attend the procedure. There is no longer any doubt that infants feel pain and there is increasing evidence that the pain of circumcision can leave lasting psychological effects.

LEGAL AND ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS

With regard to the legal and ethical aspects of circumcisions, I respectfully defer to Dr. Margaret Somerville, one of the world’s best-known medical ethicists. She is the founding director of the Centre for Medicine, Ethics and Law at McGill University, where she holds the Samuel Gale Chair in the Faculty of Law and is a professor in the Faculty of Medicine; she has worked with the World Health Organization, the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights and UNESCO.
Dr. Somerville has advanced the opinion that infant male circumcision undertaken for non-medical reasons is “technically criminal assault” (under the Canadian Criminal Code). In her own words, “All wounding of one person by another person is prima facie criminal assault (indeed, aggravated criminal assault), but it can become justified—that is, not illegal, not a crime—on certain conditions. The most common and important situation in which wounding is not a criminal assault, is when it is indicated as medically required surgery and it is undertaken with the informed consent of the person on whom it is carried out or, if this person is incompetent, of their legal representative (in the case of children, the parents). The difficulty with infant male circumcision is that when it is not medically indicated, medical justification is not present and, although adults can consent to have a non-therapeutic intervention carried out on themselves provided the intervention is not considered to be contrary to public policy, in general, they may not consent to having such interventions carried out on their children. The exception to this is if the intervention is considered to be what the law calls de minimis, that is, a trifle of which the law will not take notice. Arguably, ear piercing, especially as it is reversible, falls within this category. However, even the rabbis with whom I talked agreed that male infant circumcision is not de minimis” This legal argument places a heavy burden of the treating physician to justify as “medically indicated” any procedure he intends to carry out on a patient lest the wounding be considered assault.
Male circumcision is the only medically unnecessary surgery in the USA that is performed without obtaining consent from the patient. In law, parental rights are derived from parental duty and exist only so long as they are needed for the protection of the person and property of the child. Giving consent to medical treatment of a child is a clear incident of parental responsibility arising from the duty to protect the child. This duty is clearly breached when the procedure in question is non-therapeutic, ablative and irreversible. Furthermore, the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child
is explicit in Article 24.3: "States Parties shall take all effective and appropriate measures with a view to abolishing traditional practices prejudicial to the health of children."
There you have it, my thoughts on circumcision. More than ever, I am of the view that non-therapeutic infant circumcision is nothing less than an act of male genital mutilation, a failure of society to protect the male child against assault, a breach of basic human rights and an abrogation of parental duties and responsibilities. Furthermore, religious, tribal or other cultural justification for circumcision is, in my view, no longer tenable in the context of modern medical knowledge and universal social jurisprudence.
Finally, my dear reader, I leave you with the following quote from one of the keenest observers of the naked ape:

“These, then, are the human genitals. Considering their great delicacy, complexity and sensitivity, one might imagine that an intelligent species like man would leave them alone. Sadly, this has never been the case. For thousands of years, in many different cultures, the genitals have fallen victim to an amazing variety of mutilations and restrictions. For organs that are capable of giving us an immense amount of pleasure, they have been given an inordinate amount of pain.”-- Desmond Morris.

Joseph Froncioni

MONA LISA, WHO ART THOU

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-07T21:28:31-04:00

Mona Lisa's direct descendant.

Mystery has always surrounded Leonardo’s La Gioconda and until recently, little was known about the woman in the picture. Although we now know more about her unique smile (See my September 26, 2006 post “That (slightly less) Enigmatic Smile), gaps still remain in the story.

However, recent work by scholars such as professor Giuseppe Pallanti is helping to fill those gaps. We now know that Leonardo’s model for the Mona Lisa was Lisa Gherardini, wife of Florentine merchant Francesco Bartolomeo Del Giocondo. Records show that the Gherardinis lived in a house across the street from Leonardo’s family on via Ghibellina in Florence. Leonardo’s father, Piero Da Vinci was a notary and there is evidence that Francesco Bartolomeo del Giocondo sometimes hired his services in the course of his business. Finally, we now know that Lisa Gherardini died at 63 years of age on July 15, 1542 and that she was buried in the center of Florence in what was then the convent of St. Orsola.
On another front, genealogist Domenico Savini yesterday claims to have found Lisa Gherardini’s closest living descendants. They are the princesses Natalia and Irina (pictured left) Strozzi, aged 29 and 24 respectively, whose ancestry can be traced back to the del Giocondo family on their maternal
side. Interesting when you think of it and only a matter of time till someone does a portrait of them in that Mona Lisa pose.

Joseph Froncioni

Living On Another Planet

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-03T22:30:38-04:00

On America and global warming.

In the wake of the IPCC report on climate change, we anticipate the reaction of the world’s politicians with bated breath. Will they have the wisdom and fortitude to do the right thing? Will they take off the corporate blinders and think of our children’s futures instead of their pockets?
Here are the first words that came out of the US Energy Secretary Sam Bodman yesterday: “We are a small contributor when you look at the rest of the world.” WHAT!@? Did you say “…a small contributor…”? America has 4% of the world’s population yet it produces 25% of the greenhouse gases and uses 25% of the world’s crude oil. The man’s a fucking idiot!

No one expects the US to turn this thing around on its own and everyone is cognizant of the huge emissions burden China and India are about to become, but we need leadership and we need technological leaps to address this problem. America could provide that leadership for the world…if it weren’t for Dubya and his cronies.
Sometimes I think they’re living on another planet…

Joseph Froncioni

Get A Mac!

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-03T10:32:17-04:00

Vista trashing.

Joseph Froncioni

IPCC Climate Report

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-02T07:35:20-04:00

The UN’s long awaited IPCC Climate report.

Just a quick heads-up for you: the UN’s long awaited IPCC Climate report has been released in Paris. I have not read the whole report yet but according to the BBC, it contains the following predictions:

• Probable temperature rise between 1.8C and 4C
• Possible temperature rise between 1.1C and 6.4C
• Sea level most likely to rise by 28-43cm
• Arctic summer sea ice disappears in second half of century
• Increase in heat waves very likely
• Increase in tropical storm intensity likely

The IPCC Report is available here.

Joseph Froncioni

Not Funny

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-01T20:20:42-04:00

A scary political cartoon.

The following cartoon was the 3rd place winner in the 2006 United Nations Correspondents Association Ranan Lurie Political Cartoon Awards. So not funny it's scary.

Joseph Froncioni

Elegant Data

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-02-01T16:08:30-04:00

Making the figures come alive.

Data is data is data right? Bar graphs, pie charts and spreadsheets, we see them all the time and frankly, they bore me to death. Sure, you can add some color and maybe even a third dimension but most data presentations still suck.
Enter Hans Rosling. Professor Rosling makes data come alive. He has developed software that animates data sets in a most amazing way. His website, gapminder.org is a non-profit venture that aims to develop and distribute software to better visualize human development. His presentations are stunning and give the viewer a completely new way to view the changing human condition. Rosling manages to debunk a number of misconceptions by extracting from the data elements previously hidden under the tons of information.
Have a look at this 20 min. presentation that I think will impress you.

Joseph Froncioni

Climate Change Warning

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-28T14:39:55-04:00

The 1st of 4 volumes of the 4th Assessment Report of The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change being released.

Hope you're paying attention. On Friday, February 2nd, the 1st of 4 volumes of the 4th Assessment Report of The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) will be released in Paris. The IPCC was established in 1988 by 2 United Nations bodies, the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) and the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) "to assess scientific, technical and socio-economic information relevant for the understanding of climate change, its potential impacts and options for adaptation and mitigation." This important report has been six years in the making and has involved more than 2500 scientific reviewers, 800 contributing authors and 450 lead authors from more than 130 countries.
One of the dramatic conclusions expected from the report is that unless greenhouse gas emissions are brought under control within the next decade, climate change may become unstoppable. The fear is that rising temperatures and increasing levels of greenhouse gases may soon exceed the capacity of the natural systems that normally keep their levels in check. According to today's Sunday Times, about half the 24 billion tons of carbon dioxide generated by human activities each year are absorbed by forests and oceans — a process without which the world might already be several degrees warmer. But as CO2 levels rise and soils dry, microbes can start breaking down accumulated organic matter, so forests become net producers of greenhouse gases. The sea’s power to absorb CO2 also falls sharply as it warms. The latest research suggests the threshold for such disastrous changes will come when CO2 levels reach 550 parts per million (ppm), roughly double their natural levels. This is predicted to happen around 2040-50.
This is all very depressing. The planet's biggest producer of greenhouse gases, the USA, appears to be under the spell of self-serving, myopic corporations and has thus far failed to demonstrate that it wants to be part of the solution. Sleeping giants China and India are unlikely to forgo the "dirty" stage of economic growth. A grim picture indeed.
If you haven't already done so, watch Al Gore’s excellent documentary An Inconvenient Truth and get even more depressed. Call me a pessimist but this is really getting me down.

Joseph Froncioni

DESIGNERS’ PASTA PASTS

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-26T02:00:00-04:00

Extreme pasta shapes that never made it.

I recently came across a forgotten bit of history that might be of interest to you. It certainly grabbed my attention as it concerns two matters about which I am passionate.
What do the following cars have in common: Alfa Romeo Alfasud, Audi 80, BMW M1, De Tomaso Mangusta, De Lorean DMC-12, Ferrari GT Bertone, Fiat Spider, Fiat Uno, Ford Mustang (2006), Lamborghini Cala, Lexus GS, Lotus Esprit, Maserati Quattroporte, Saab 9000, VW Golf, VW Passat and VW Scirocco? While we’re at it, what do these cars have in common with the Ducati 860 GT motorcycle and the following Nikon camera bodies: F3, F4, F5, F6?
Give up? All of the above were designed by Giorgetto Giugiaro, one of the greatest industrial designers ever to come out of Italy. Giorgetto Giugiaro was named Car Designer of the Century in 1999. Now while I do have a certain interest in cars, it doesn’t come close to the passion I reserve for good design and fine food. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered that Giugiaro had dabbled in pasta design.
In November 1983 Voiello, an innovative pasta manufacturing company in Naples owned by the Barilla group, decided to break the mold, so to speak, and develop a “modern” pasta shape. The assignment went to car designer Giorgetto Giugiaro. Giugiaro submitted 12 designs from which one was picked to go into production. Giugiaro named his pasta Marille.
Giugiaro took a very systematic approach to the problem. He realized that his new design should not absorb too much sauce and should increase its volume in water. The pasta should be both decorative and palatable. Of course his new shape should be produced by die extrusion.
Here are the only sketches and photos of Marille pasta I have been able to find. Notice the dual-tubular design and the protruding tongue. Unlike conventional rigatoni, the grooves or rugosities were on the concave surfaces of the tubes presumably to give better adherence to the sauce.

Unfortunately, Marille did not remain in production very long. As far as I can determine, problems were encountered with uneven cooking of various parts of shape. Judging from the available sketches and the photo above, my guess is that the junction of the 3 elements would have cooked much more slowly than the rest of the shape.
I think the Marille was, nevertheless, an innovative design even in spite of its troubles in hot water. I doubt much of it is still in existence but if you ever come across any, give me a shout.

Now you may have noticed that the title of this piece is in the plural. This is because as I was rooting around for more information on Mr. Giugiaro’s Marille, I happened upon a second designer pasta shape, this one by the equally famous Philippe Starck and called Mandala.
In 1987, the French pasta maker Panzani commissioned Starck to design a new pasta shape for them and this is what he came up with:

Perhaps, it would be best if I let Mr. Starck tell you about Mandala in his own words (from a lecture he gave at the Harvard Graduate School of Design in October 1997): “I was so happy because I'm very interested in things close to humans. I said, "OK, what can I do with pasta? Why do we love pasta? When do we love pasta? We love pasta when we are children, when we are sick, when we are stoned - ah! - or when we are old - in other words, when we are a bit regressed. But sometimes when you eat pasta you become fat. Perhaps the thing I can do is to give the same pleasure, with a good mouth full of pasta, but without making people fat. How I can make a pasta that will be ten percent pasta and ninety percent air? If you make a tube, you have ninety percent air, but when it's cooked, it collapses." That's why I thought of a spring that makes the pasta stay open. And because American and French people always overcook pasta, I made two wings that have a double thickness, so that when you overcook it, eighty percent of the pasta is still al dente. I asked a doctor, "What is in pasta?" and he said, "It's a perfectly well-balanced food." "Well-balanced: yin-yang! Perfect, that can be the spring!" This shows you that even in something small, everything can be functional. If you just make a nice design, it's nothing.”
The cross-section has a yin and yang look about it. Starck was obviously worried about maintaining the shape’s integrity when cooked and the pierced thickenings at opposite ends were probably meant to serve this purpose. Unlike the Marille, the rugosities are on the outside.
Alas, as far as I can tell, Mandala met with the same fate as Marille and try as I might, I can find no evidence that it is still in production. Furthermore, I have been unable to get any information from either Barilla or Panzani about these products. I even contacted the Museo Nazionale delle Paste Alimentari in Rome with no success. Pity because failures though they might have been, these two pasta shapes represented the work of great men in the world of design. Both my food-lover and design junkie sides grieve at having been deprived of these two interesting attempts at a “modern” pasta shape.

Joseph Froncioni

Moral Compass?

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-25T07:12:53-04:00

Blind faith or mental disorder?

From idrewthis.org:

Joseph Froncioni

Game Warp

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-21T11:16:03-04:00

An artist with a warped mind.

Laurent Perbos is warped. He has the knack of giving common objects another dimension. His conceptual art has just the right amount of realism to make you believe. Laurent lives in Marseille and has shown his works all over the world. You can see some of his stuff here but the piece that really grabbed me was his Ping Pong Pipe seen bellow.

Joseph Froncioni

Whither Reason

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-20T13:27:38-04:00

The irrationality of faith.

From idrewthis.org :

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 8

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-18T22:09:59-04:00

A toaster that works!

So far, all the objects I have written about have been ones that I own myself. OBJECT 8, however is one that as far as I know is not yet in production. See if you like it.
Some objects have become so ubiquitous we rarely think about them. They blend into the visual background of our daily lives and get little or no attention unless they malfunction. From a design point of view, some of these objects seem to have reached an evolutionary dead end. The toaster is one of these.
Nearly all toasters on the market today fall into one of 2 categories: 1– pop-up toaster: vertical slot loading with timer of sensor activated sprung platform 2– Toaster oven: small counter-top oven with top and bottom heating elements. A 3rd category of toaster, the conveyer type is found nearly exclusively in the hotel/restaurant industry and is designed for high volume use.
Enter the TOASTA. Designed by George Watson (UK), and winning entry in this year’s MACEF Milano International Home Show, this object kicks some design butt when it comes to making toast. Made of slip moulded bone china, the TOASTA (for toast automatica) combines form and functionality that makes it the best thing to come out since…sliced bread. Come to think of it, sliced bread is the only kind of bread it will accommodate easily. Have a look at the photos and read the designers note that follows.
IN USE

HOW TO USE

HOW IT WORKS

In Mr. Watson's own words:
"There has been little development of the toaster since the start of the century, whilst other appliances have developed and improved incorporating new technologies and thinking, toaster have remained relatively untouched. When the toaster was first invented eating toast was a social activity that took place on the breakfast table, these days toasters have been relegated to cheap plastic objects hidden away in the kitchen landscape. This toaster is designed to engage the user, re-invigorating the social context of toasting by questioning everything about what we toast with today. I was also keen to make playful object to be proud of having on your breakfast table. Slip moulded bone china allowed me create this intricate and sculptural form, but also provided the material longevity that I required. This is a toaster that brings life and joy to a stagnant domestic appliance, and iconic object for the home."
Coming soon to a breakfast table near you.

Joseph Froncioni

Best Opening Line

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-10T11:43:08-04:00

About first times.

An article entitled The Introduction of the iPhone From an Apple First-Timer's Perspective that just appeared on the ABC website written by Kristina Wong opens like this: "As a young woman with high expectations, I've found that first times usually disappoint. My first Apple keynote speech far exceeded my expectations, though."
Best opening line I've read in a long time. Kudos.

Joseph Froncioni

Apple Computer iPhone

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-09T18:05:05-04:00

The smartest smart-phone is here.

First of all, there’s been a name change. From today, Apple Computer , Inc. will be known simply as Apple, Inc. Good move I think since it’s so much more than a computer manufacturer. Apple has become one of the most innovative companies in the world and with well-designed products such as the iPod I have every expectation that its share of the lifestyle and entertainment sector will continue to grow.

Enter the Apple iPhone. This is what we’ve all been waiting for. An elegantly designed hand-held device that keeps us in-touch, iTuned and online. Here’s an interface that someone has actually thought about: no tiny keyboard, no stylus, no pearls, dials or scroll wheels. Eye-candy that just works.
My prediction: The Apple iPhone will do to the cell phone what the iPod did to the portable music player. It should leave all other smart-phones in the dust. Lets talk again in a year.

Joseph Froncioni

BBC Person of the Year

Joseph Froncioni — 2007-01-06T17:39:36-04:00

More kudos for Richard Dawkins.

Excellent news! Richard Dawkins has been named BBC Person of the Year. I’ve been a fan of his for many years now and have read most of his books. He’s certainly been in the spotlight this past year and I feel he is amply deserving of this honor.
There has, heretofore, existed a reluctance, an unwritten rule, a quasi taboo when it came to questioning another’s spiritual beliefs and religious convictions. It just wasn’t done in polite company. One respected others’ beliefs however irrational they seemed. Richard Dawkins has convinced me that this is no longer acceptable nor is it responsible post September 11. The men who flew those planes into the World Trade Center towers were men of deep religious belief. They were devout Muslims. They had faith, they prayed and without the obvious deep spiritual conviction that drove them, they surely would not have had the courage to die and take so many others with them. To quote Steven Weinberg: "(Religion) With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion"
(I have included a link to The Richard Dawkins Foundation in the right column of this blog.)

Joseph Froncioni

Religious Conflicts

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-20T08:59:05-04:00

Religion as a source of world and regional conflict.

Religion has been the root cause of most of the world’s major conflicts over the last few millennia. This animated map from Maps of War illustrates the rise of the worlds 5 major religions and the conflicts that have been sparked by their collisions.

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 7

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-13T10:08:08-04:00

The elegant cardboard chair.

Get yourself some cardboard and a box-cutter (that infamous weapon) and see if you can make an object that will hold a person’s weight. Not easy but not impossible either. Now try to make that object that looks and works like a chair…not easy at all.
Making a chair out of cardboard is an exercise that most architecture students have had to partake in at some point in their training. It’s an excellent way to gain an understanding of material properties and structural design. A piece of cardboard is a bendy thing until you fold it into a triangular beam whereupon it becomes rigid enough to support hundreds of times its weight. You can go here or here or here to see examples of cardboard chair making.

Frank Gehry, arguably the most well known living architect, worked with cardboard early on in his career. The WIGGLE CHAIR is probably the best example of his cardboard work but is not quite in the same category of object I’m referring to. Although it is constructed of 60 layers of corrugated cardboard, it also includes fiberboard and screw fasteners. This chair is in production (VITRA) and is a commercial success, but it would be disqualified in any cardboard chair making challenge.
About 10 years ago, Josée and I were exploring some of the small streets near Ile Saint-Louis in Paris when we came upon the cardboard chair pictured at right.
The chair sat in the street level window of an architectural firm. We walked in and immediately fell in love with it. The chair had been designed by one of the partners in the firm, Olivier Leblois, and we were informed that it had recently gone into commercial production by a Canadian firm, KIOSK Canada. Shortly after returning to Bermuda, I managed to purchase one online for $40 or $50.

The chair is known as the KIOSK CHAIR (1992) by Kiosk Canada with the chopsticks (tying the horizontal support beam to the side walls) or T.4.1. (Tea for One, 1993) by Quart de Poil, France, without chopsticks. The former may no longer be in production but the latter is easily available online and is designed specifically for children.
We have not used ours very frequently because the humidity in Bermuda is not cardboard friendly. However, my good friend Don Dessario who lives in Calgary used his on a daily basis for years before it had to be replaced. The chair is comfortable and feels sturdy enough to stand on. You may consider the chopsticks cheating but since the chair is in production without them, the designer can be forgiven for including them. In my opinion, the chopsticks are completely unexpected and give the chair that extra little bit of flair.
Hope you like our cardboard chair and you can view the complete slideshow of my photos of it here.

Joseph Froncioni

A Poll of Unlikelihood

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-09T15:33:51-04:00

What kind of individual will be the next president of the United States.

I think the next President of the United States will be another white, christian man who has a wife and kids. Nevertheless, I would still be interested in your opinion on the following:

Joseph Froncioni

Indian Penises

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-08T18:06:52-04:00

Length matters in India.

I was driving along today listening to BBC News when the female anchor read this story. It was obvious she was having trouble holding back a giggle.
I’ll make sure to talk to my Indian friends tomorrow to see what they think. After all, what’s a few centimeters between friends?!

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – 3 more in NYC

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-08T17:49:11-04:00

Reviews of SPICE MARKET, CRU and THE MODERN in NYC.

Ya, we did spend a lot of time eating during our recent stay in NYC but we made sure to walk it off shopping. I won’t bore you with full reviews of the next 3 restaurants but they definitely deserve some ink.
Spice Market, one of Jean Georges Vongerichten’s 17 restaurants (Yes, 17!!) is a must if you’re into Asian fusion. Situated on West 13th St. in the meatpacker district, Spice Market is another of those very informal but oh so very cool places to see and be seen. The restaurant is decorated in a style that could make you believe you’re in Mumbai. Dishes are served family style so that everyone at the table can share the different courses. A sampling of what we had: Shrimp Tod Man Pea in cucumber peanut relish; Mussles steamed with lemon grass, Thai basil, dried chili and coconut juice; Crisp salt and pepper skate, Thai basil and lime; Pork Vindaloo. The tastes are so varied that I recommend wine by the glass.
Overall, well worth a visit. Moderately priced.
Cru on 5th Ave. south is the place for you if your thing is fine wine. Cru has one of the very best wine lists in North America. The maitre d’ has to make 2 trips to your table to deliver the hefty leather-bound tomes, one for reds and the other for whites. The list is by far the most extensive I have ever seen. I recommend you go to the website (above) and browse through the PDF versions to get a better idea of the depth and breadth of this restaurant’s remarkable collection. If you have problems choosing your wine, there are 3 sommeliers at your service. The choice is so extensive that the best thing to do is decide on a price range you’re comfortable with and then just have a chat with the sommelier after you’ve chosen the food. If I had wanted to be nice to Josée, I could have ordered the Romanée-Cont Grand Cru 1957, her birth year, priced at $5,500. Not.
The service is impeccable, the décor staid and the stemware Riedel (of course). The food was very good with minor deficiencies I won’t even mention. Here’s what we had: Sweet potato gnocchi with in a wild boar reduction; Tagliatelle in a white truffle cream sauce ($50. supplement for the fresh white truffle); Duck breast: Venison; Valrhona chocolate tart and pumpkin sorbet. After several glasses of white from their vast choice of wine by then glass, we had a bottle of Guigal ‘Brune & Blonde’ 1985 from Côte Rôtie followed by Taylor Fladgate 1985 vintage port with the desert.
Good place to go when someone else is paying the bill. Total for two with tip: $638.
Finally, my very favorite restaurant in NYC these days is The Modern at MoMA. This restaurant is the brainchild of Danny Meyer of Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Café fame. The chef is Alsatian born Gabriel Kreuther. The décor is, well, me. I’ve been a member of MoMA for nearly 20 years and as many of you know, it’s my very favorite museum in the world. The restaurant incorporates modern design icons from MoMA and has a very Bauhaus feel.
The space is divided into the Bar Room and the Dining Room. The Bar Room is a great place for lunch either at the long marble bar or at one of the small tables. The Dining Room is more suitable for dinner and looks out onto MoMA’s magnificent Sculpture Garden.
We’ve eaten at The Modern quite a few times now and we’ve never been disappointed. Our recent lunch there included: Charred Octopus with chickpea-radish salad, salsa verde and crispy capers; Upside Down Tuna Tarte with fennel, Japanese cucumber and aioli; Herb Crusted Loin of Lamb on a young garlic noodle cake with pea shoots and light herb and saffron sauce; Wild Salmon with horseradish crust, cabbage and Riesling.
Have a look at the restaurant’s website (above) for the complete menus and pricing. Two hours in MoMA followed by a great lunch at The Modern…time well spent!

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – Mesa Grill, NYC

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-12-06T18:51:00-04:00

Restaurant review - Mesa Grill, NYC

Bobby Flay is one of those empire-building American celebrity chefs. He owns 5 restaurants: Mesa Grill, Bolo and Bar Americain in NYC, Mesa Grill Las Vegas and Bobby Flay Steak (Atlantic City). Flay also hosts four Food Network television programs and appears regularly on a fifth. On Thursday night, we had dinner at Mesa Grill in NYC.

The decor is lively and imaginative and the atmosphere is informal. I especially like the restaurant logo with the flattop font so reminiscent of the tabletop land formations after which it is named. This is a busy restaurant and we were lucky to get a table. Service is friendly in an American type of way but the waitress was knowledgeable and pleasant. Simple white linen tablecloth does the trick for me every time. The wine-list is limited but the pricing is fair. We should have delved into the impressive collection of tequilas including assortments of blanco tequilas, reposado tequilas and anejo tequilas but we didn’t thus avoiding a nasty hangover.
The food at Mesa Grill is distinctly southwestern. Have a look at the full dinner menu here to get a better idea. Everything we had was outstanding so we can recommend the following: “rough cut” raw tuna nachos, shrimp and grouper ceviche, red and black crusted filet mignon and New Mexican spice rubbed pork tenderloin(at right).
A couple of glasses of white to start off with followed by a really remarkable bottle of Peter Franus 2003 Brandlin Vinyard Mount Veeder zinfandel and we were happy campers.
I’m not crazy about southwestern food generally but I must admit we ate well and I might go back some day…if there weren’t so many other damn restaurants to try. Total including dessert and tip: $190.44.

Joseph Froncioni

Does God Exist?

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-28T07:22:41-04:00

Food for thought about God.

“It is true that the rules of civil discourse currently demand that Reason wear a veil whenever she is out in public. But the rules of discourse must change.”
Sam Harris, The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason (N. W. Norton & Co., New York, 2004)

This post stems from Richard Dawkins’ excellent new book, The God Delusion, so my apologies to him for starting it off with a quote from Sam Harris. I have a feeling, however, that there must be a sense of mutual admiration between these 2 courageous thinkers as they lock arms on the front lines of the battle against irrational belief. Religion and the existence of God are subjects that have for too long been immune to scrutiny in polite company. These 2 writers make a convincing argument that in this the 21st Century, it is high time that clear-thinking people openly question concepts based on magic, myth and Bronze Age books.
There are very few things we know with absolute certainty but by using rational thought, we can draw reasonable conclusions about the world around us. The earth is not flat but spherical and this I am virtually certain of even if I have never verified this directly by viewing our small blue planet from space. Furthermore, in 2006, most would agree that there is neither the intellectual justification nor the practical need for a debate on the shape of the earth. That case, I think you will agree, is closed. Most would also agree that this is also the case for most of the gods of our distant ancestors. Eros, Zeus, Apollo and Aphrodite have been removed off the shelf of reality and relegated, once and for all, to the cupboard of mythology. Ralph Waldo Emerson put it this way, “The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.”
But, let me get to the point of this post. Dawkins suggests in The God Delusion that the existence of God is a scientific hypothesis like any other, i.e. it is testable. In his own words, “God’s existence or non-existence is a scientific fact about the universe, discoverable in principle if not in practice. If he existed and chose to reveal it, God himself could clinch the argument, noisily and unequivocally, in his favor. And even if God’s existence is never proved or disproved with certainty one way or the other, available evidence and reasoning may yield an estimate of probability far from 50 per cent.”
As a start to discourse on the matter, therefore, I beg your indulgence and hereby request your participation in a poll. The choices are taken right out of Dawkin’s book and require that you situate yourself on the spectrum of probabilities regarding the existence of God. For those of you who have given the matter sufficient thought, the task may be an easy one. I know full well, however, that others among you may have to step out of your comfort zone and struggle to find your answer. So be it. The poll is anonymous. Thank you in advance for your participation.

Joseph Froncioni

Worldview

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-25T12:24:40-04:00

See our world in a different way.

When thinking about this world we live in, it is easy to get our perspective wrong. To get an accurate worldview, most of us need a little help. We need to have the world laid out in front of us as some sort of pictorial representation. Cartographers give us maps and globes. These come in a variety of projections and scales. Geographical and topographical maps show us the layout of the planet we live on. Political maps show us how we have organized socially. Thematic maps help us visualize specific information about the world. What follows are a number of interesting ways to visualize the world that you may not have come across.
First a bit of fun. Luis Felipe of Brazil has come up with this neat application using GOOGLE MAPS to answer the age old query, “Where would I end up if I dug a hole straight down through to the other side of the earth?” When I was a kid, I was always told “China”. Not so. Have a look at Luis’ website and play around with the DIG HERE function. Use the ZOOM function to see precisely where your hole ends up. Hours and hours of fun!
A cartogram is a map that displays numerical data while maintaining some degree of geographical accuracy. An equal area cartogram, otherwise known as a density-equalizing map, re-sizes each territory according to the variable being mapped. I have chosen the 10 cartograms that follow based on the unique way they illustrate data that should be important to each and every one of us. Click on the maps to open larger versions.
As a reference point, lets start off with a map where each territory's size on the map is drawn according to its land area. This looks like and indeed is a standard geographical map of the world.

Next, consider this map where the size of each territory shows the relative proportion of the world's population living there. Now things are getting interesting. Look at what’s happened to India and China. This map illustrates the usefulness of equal area cartograms in helping us visualize large data sets.

Next, lets look at some historical data illustrating human population migration as well as the increase in total world population. This first map shows the distribution of the world population in 1AD. An estimated 231 million humans populated the earth 2000 years ago and while Southern Asia, Northern Africa, China and Southern Europe were relatively heavily populated, the Americas were sparsely populated and exclusively by indigenous peoples. The estimated population of New Zealand was zero.

The next map shows the distribution of the world's population in year 1500. Eight years after Columbus’ “discovery”, the population of Mexico and Peru was already greater than that of all other American countries combined. The world population had doubled since 1AD.

This next map shows the predicted distribution for the estimated world population in 2050. The population is estimated to have grown to 9.07 billion with 62% of the people living in Africa, Southern Asia and Eastern Asia.

Back to the present. In this next map, territory size shows the proportion of all cars in the world that are found there. Of the 590 million cars in the world (2002 statistics), 140 million were in the United States. New Zealand has the most cars per capita (62.3/100 people) whereas Tajikistan has the fewest (0.04/100 people).

Whereas cars are common in developed nations, mopeds are the main form of motorized transportation in developing nations. In this map, territory size shows the proportion of the motorbikes and mopeds in the world found there.

In the next map, territory size shows the proportion of worldwide child work force (aged 10-14) that live there. This is a sad map indeed. Nine of the ten territories with the highest proportions of child laborers are in Africa. India has the highest number of child laborers.

In this map, territory size shows the proportion of the world population living in poverty living there (calculated by multiplying population by one of two poverty indices).

Finally, in this last map, territory size shows the proportion of all people aged 15-49 with HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) worldwide, living there. In 2003, the highest HIV prevalence was
Swaziland, where 38%, or almost 4 in every 10 people aged 15 to 49 years, were HIV positive. All ten territories with the highest prevalence of HIV are in Central and Southeastern Africa. This is a staggering burden on this great continent and one wonders how it will ever be overcome.

I hope you agree with me that these cartograms give us a different and often surprising view of our world. All the maps I have displayed are taken from WORLDMAPPER, a website produced by the Social and Spatial Inequalities research group at the University of Sheffield in collaboration with the Center for the Study of Complex Systems at the University of Michigan. The site has more than 200 cartograms organized into 27 different categories, a veritable treasure trove of fascinating ways to look at the world we live in.

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 6

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-22T07:31:05-04:00

Marc Newson's Wood Chair. Now if you’ve been following the OBJECT series in this blog, you’re probably getting the sneaking suspicion that there’s something about chairs and me. Well, you’re right. I love chairs. I collect chairs. Modern chairs. Concept chairs and sculptural chairs. Not antiques. Designer chairs, iconic chairs and art chairs. Never fake ones or cheap knock-offs, never stuffed ones or one-offs.
In May 2001, I was rummaging through one of my favorite design stores in Montreal, Triede Design in Place d’Youville, when I came across Australian designer Marc Newson’s Wood Chair (also known as Wooden Chair). It was tucked away in a corner all covered in dust. It had a price tag on it that said ~~$3500.~~ , ~~$3200.~~ , ~~$2900.~~ , $2500. Canadian dollars, that is, and the dollar were weak at that time so I pounced. A Newson Wood Chair today can’t be found for less than $4500. US.

Now you have to admit this is a beautiful object. Looking at it from the side, I am reminded of the first letter of the Greek alphabet alpha or the stylized fish symbol Christians use for Jesus. Twenty-four strips of steam-bent natural beech heartwood held together by 5 horizontal elements. The chair is meant to be functional and is rather comfortable as is gives under your weight. However, I consider my Wood Chair to be way too valuable and delicate to use on a regular basis so it remains in my category of show chairs.
Newson designed this chair in 1988 for an international traveling exhibition called 'The House of Fiction' organized by the Crafts Council of New South Wales, Australia. Although not originally intended for series production,Cappellini began manufacturing it in 1992.
You can view all the photos of my Wood Chair as a slideshow here.

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – Café Ferreira, Montreal

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-12T13:11:23-04:00

An outstanding meal at my favorite restaurant in Montreal.

Last night, 7 of us had dinner at what continues to be my very favorite restaurant in Montreal, Café Ferreira. I can’t say I’m hung-over this morning but there is a thin veil of discomfort over my head that is receding all too slowly.
My friend chef Marino Tavares was in splendid form and we knew we were in for a treat when no menus were proffered. “Hope you’re hungry this evening!” is always music to my ears coming from the chef. The restaurant was buzzing and Mario, the maitre d’ was juggling tables at the speed of sound. Elton John was in town and the pre-show diners were just settling their tabs as we were being seated.
Interesting place, Café Ferreira. It’s not often you find a restaurant that maintains such high standards for so long. Now more than a decade old, Café Ferreira is still as HOT as it was when it opened no doubt because of the outstanding dedication of owner Carlos Ferreira and chef/owner Marino Tavares. This dynamic duo has managed to stay ahead of the mediocrity curve that inevitably affects most other eateries sooner or later. Proud of their Portuguese heritage, everything in the restaurant from the salt and the olive oil to the tableware comes from the Iberian Peninsula. The service is friendly but always professional and efficient. The décor is spectacular and includes the restaurant’s trademark wall of colorful broken porcelain.
The food and wine of course never disappoint. Marino’s dishes are solidly based in the rich gastronomic tradition of Portugal with judicious daubs borrowed from the pallets of France, Italy and Asia. The wine list is a cornucopia of Portuguese treasures and may well be the largest collection of its kind in North America.
Here is my recollection of what we ate (salvaged from a crumpled piece of paper I found in my jacket pocket this morning). Unfortunately, no camera last night so no photos. Read on and drool:

• Cappuccino of lobster and butternut squash with crab mousse
• Black cod and scampi’s in an Asian sweet and sour sauce with crispy vegetables
• Seared tuna in pepper crust, fois gras potatoes in red wine and truffle sauce
• Black chouriço and onion in chicken broth with apple/lemon oil
• Slow roasted suckling pig and chouriço with paprika and cumin
• Cheese: Portuguese Monte Vinho, figs, nuts and dried berries
• Almond tart with figs and caramel

Wines:
• Redoma 2004 Douro (white)
• Quinta do Vallado Reserve 2000 magnum (red)
• Quinta do Vale Meão 2000 (port)
• Muscatel

Total eating time: 4 hours. Cost: priceless.

Joseph Froncioni

Eating Out – SUSUR, Toronto

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-10T05:32:00-04:00

A very disappointing evening at a famous Toronto eatery.

We spent last weekend in Toronto where we attended a formal dinner hosted by the Toronto Chapter of the Chaîne des Rôtisseurs. The event ran in conjunction with the Canadian Young Commis Competition and was held at the Fairmont Royal York Hotel. The dinner, held on Saturday evening, was a magnificent affair made even more delightful by the presence of a number of our good friends from Calgary.
The dinner was prepared by Executive Chef David Garcelon who we got to know and admire during the 5 years he held the same position at the Fairmont here in Bermuda. Finally, our good friend Marino Tavares, chef/owner of Café Ferreira in Montreal was inducted into the Chaîne as Maître Rôtisseur. It was as special treat to see Josée, Membre du Conseil d’Administration, on stage with Marino during his induction.
On the Friday evening, we’d arranged to eat at SUSUR, one of the most talked about restaurants in Canada. One of only 2 Canadian eateries ever to have made it onto Restaurant Magazine’s World’s 50 Best Restaurants list (49th in 2002), here was a place we just had to try.

I’m not a food critic but just so we’re straight here, I’ll show my cards right away: 1- Service plays a very important role in my dining experience. 2- I don’t mind paying top dollar as long as the restaurant lives up to its reputation.
We had a reservation at 6:30pm but managed to get it changed to 9:00pm through friends in the restaurant business. Our party of 8 arrived right on time and we were led to our table by our waitress Diane (name changed to protect her identity). The décor can simply be described as, well, white. Very white. Ok, the floors are wood and there are rectangular recesses in the walls that change color all evening. White linen tablecloths, a definite plus, but nothing to dampen reflected sound so very loud and difficult on conversation. Ordinary stainless steel utensils and restaurant grade Riedel crystal. And, no maître d’ as far as I could tell.
After seating us, Diane introduced herself: “Hi. My name is Diane and I’ll be taking care of you this evening. (looking down at her midsection and pointing) Got this little stain on my shirt earlier on…sorry (giggle)…so the chef recommends the 7 course tasting menu tonight.” And get this! She delivers this introduction while chewing gum!! I kid you not!
Tasting menus are always the way to go at high-end restaurants as this permits the chef to show off his best stuff. We took Chef Lee’s suggestion and went with the 7-course option.
You are perfectly right to note the small cloud that already hangs over this dining experience in the form a stain and a wad of chewing gum…an inauspicious beginning indeed. But make no mistake; Susur Lee is a great chef. The food we were to eat was well prepared and innovative. Here is a small sampling of what we had:
• Trilogy of marinated eggplant, parmesan crisps and oven dried tomatoes and pig’s feet in gelatin
• Thai broth with cuttlefish, lobster, clams, garlic crouton / mustard seed saffron aioli
• Filet of bison with sautéed fois gras in smoky BBQ sauce
• Jerusalem artichoke gratin
• Lobster bisque / poached lobster / crème fraiche
• Raspberry sorbet with lichees and green tea

Mr. Lee’s cuisine is most definitely fusion in the best sense of the word. He is an artist with flavors and the plate is his canvas. He is to Toronto what Normand Laprise of TOQUE! is to Montreal…save for one little quirk: he believes in serving his tasting menus in reverse order “so the meal diminishes in both size and weight from the principal course.” Different.
Mr. Lee, however, would be well advised to take a walk around his dining room, as this is where his reputation may take a hit. Let me explain. First of all, there is no sommelier or at least he was not present that evening. In a restaurant that serves courses with such complex combinations of flavors AND in the reverse order, wine choice requires a Ph.D. Laprise at TOQUE! works with a sommelier that knows the chef and his food foibles intimately and advises the clients appropriately. We had the waitress.
I’ve already mentioned the stained and chewing Diane. The fine art of table service is rare enough nowadays but one cannot be faulted for expecting at least a semblance of it at an establishment that has been rated as one of the best in the world. Can you blame me therefore for grinding my teeth when Diane, having been asked what the delay was in getting the first wine we had ordered replied, “Sorry but the guy who has the wine cellar key seems to have left the premises and no one has been able to locate him.” still chewing gum and laying a sympathetic hand on my left shoulder. Made me want to pop another 10mg Vasotec for my blood pressure! Can you believe it?
Later on I was between bites and chatting with the person opposite me, my left forearm resting on the tablecloth when I felt a hand slip gently under my hand to deposit a utensil on the table. Literally. “What exactly are you doing, Diane?” I said. “Just placing the utensils for the next course.” said she. “While I’m eating!?” “Sorry.” She said again laying that sweet hand on my shoulder. I have never in my gastronomic life had a waiter lift my hand to deposit a utensil WHILE I WAS EATING. Have you?
Ironing the tablecloth ON the table is a venerable French tradition I have always admired. In France, they do it BEFORE the guests arrive. At SUSUR’s, they do it IN FRONT of the guests. Just had to get that in.
Now, you might think I’m being a little hard on Mr. Lee but considering the meal cost us nearly $250. per person, including 17% service charge (for our convenience), I beg to differ. Mr. Lee, you need to tighten up your front room. Ban the gum, spend some money on a better laundry service, hire a sommelier and get staff that will do your food proud by serving it like professionals. Oh…and get a second key for that wine cellar.

Joseph Froncioni

A Hundred Mittens

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-07T21:41:27-04:00

Hilarious essay by Steve Martin.

I’ve just read Diane Ackerman’s An Alchemy of the Mind (see recent reads) and although I find her writing style a little tedious, I think it’s a worthwhile read for anyone interested in brain function. In the chapter on happiness and humor, Ackerman relates a couple of jokes she finds funny. Example: This about a politician: If he were any smarter, you’d have to water him.
However, the example that took me completely off guard is this essay ( From The New Yorker, October 11, 1999) by Steve Martin entitled  Disgruntled Former Lexicographer:

The following definition was discovered in the 1999 edition of the Random House dictionary. The crafting of the definition was the final assignment of Mr. Del Delhuey, who had been dismissed after thirty-two years with the company.

mut•ton (mut´n), n. [Middle English, from Old French mouton, moton, from Medieval Latin multo, multon-, of Celtic origin.]
1.The flesh of fully grown sheep. 2.A glove with four fingers. 3.Two discharged muons. 4.Seven English tons. 5.One who mutinies. 6.To wear a dog. 7.A fastening device on a mshirt or a mblouse. 8.Fuzzy underwear for ladies. 9.A bacteria-resistant amoeba with an attractive do. 10.To throw a boomerang weakly. 11.Any kind of lump in the pants. (Slang.) 12.A hundred mittens. 13.An earthling who has been taken over by an alien. 14.The smallest whole particle in the universe, so small you can hardly see it. 15.A big, nasty cut on the hand. 16.The rantings of a flibbertigibbet. 17.My wife never supported me. 18.It was as though I worked my whole life and it wasn’t enough for her. 19.My children think I’m a nerd. 20.In architecture, a bad idea. 21.Define this, you nitwits. 22.To blubber one’s finger over the lips while saying “bluh.” 23.I would like to take a trip to the seaside, where no one knows me. 24.I would like to be walking along the beach when a beautiful woman passes by. 25.She would stop me and ask me what I did for a living. 26.I would tell her I am a lexicographer. 27.She would say, “Oh, you wild boy.” Exactly that, not one word different. 28.Then she would ask me to define our relationship, which at that point would be one minute old. I would demur. But she would say, “Oh, please define this second for me right now.” 29.I would look at her and say, “Mutton.” 30.She would swoon. Because I would say it with a slight Spanish accent, at which I am very good. 31.I would take her hand and she would notice me feeling her wedding ring. I would ask her whom she is married to. She would say, “A big cheese at Random House.” 32.I would take her to my hotel room, and teach her the meaning of love. 33.I would use the American Heritage, out of spite, and read all the definitions. 34.Then I would read from the Random House some of my favorites among those that I worked on: “the” (just try it); “blue” (give it a shot, and don’t use the word “nanometer”). 35.I would make love to her according to the O.E.D., sixth definition. 36.We would call room service and order tagliolini without looking it up. 37.I would return her to the beach, and we would say goodbye. 3.Gibberish in E-mail. 39.A reading lamp with a lousy fifteen-watt bulb, like they have in Europe.

Also: a. muttonchops: slicing sheep meat with the face. b. muttsam: sheep floating in the sea. c. muttonheads: the Random House people.

Joseph Froncioni

The Skinny on Skinny

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-03T05:18:00-04:00

The media's effect on body image and self esteem.

I recently attended a videoconference entitled Body Image in Children and Adolescents in the New Millennium by Dr. Suzanne MacDonald of the Divisions of Adolescent Medicine and Pediatric ER from McGill University, Montreal. Now as an orthopedic surgeon, this is not a topic that would normally grab my attention. Her excellent presentation, however, was as thought provoking as it was disturbing. Her main thrust was as follows: Serious eating disorders, dysfunctional body image and low self-esteem among children and adolescents is an ever increasing problem and at least part of the blame rests squarely with the media industry.

Here are some facts about today’s children and adolescents:
• During the teen years, children will gain 15 – 20% of their adult height, up to 50% of their adult weight and 45% of their maximum skeletal mass.
• The development of the concept of self is initially mostly restricted to body image and peer comparison.
• There exists a tremendous pressure and influence from the media to be thin, beautiful and fit for girls and athletic and handsome for boys.
• 50 – 60% of adolescent girls consider themselves to be overweight and have attempted to diet.
• 1 -2% of girls will develop Anorexia Nervosa
• 3 -5% of girls will develop Bulimia Nervosa
• Increasingly younger girls are being diagnosed with these disorders
• 11% of US children are overweight.
• 14% of US children are at risk of becoming overweight.

Here are some facts about the power of media in our children’s lives:
• The average US child watches more than 4 hours of TV per day
• US children watch between 1023 and 1460 hours of TV per year
• US children spend an average of 110 hours per year reading magazines
• 56% of US children 8 -16 have a TV in their bedroom
• 36% of US children under 6 have a TV in their bedroom
• The average US child sees 40,000 commercials per year
The media are bombarding our children with a false concept of reality especially when it comes to body image. They are convincing our children that skinny is not only normal and beautiful but also necessary for success and acceptance. The skeletal Kate Moss has become someone to be emulated. By today’s standards, Marilyn Munroe would be considered overweight! Currently, the average model weighs 117lbs and measures 5’11” while the average woman weighs 140lbs and is 5’4”.
Valery Rainon McManus on the power of advertising: “Ads sell products but they sell a great deal more; they sell values, images and concepts of love, sexuality, romance success, popularity and perhaps most important, of normalcy…To a very great extent, they tell us who we are and who we should be.”
The following clip, part of the DOVE SELF ESTEEM FUND, is an example of the cosmetic industry’s attempt to convince us they are cognizant of their harmful influence and are actively addressing the problem (a bit like the smoking cessation ads by tobacco companies). It really illustrates just how manipulated and unrealistic the cover girl image is and what an impossible dream it is for the average woman to achieve this look.

There are however some important steps being taken to address the issue. The most significant of these is the recent ban by Spanish authorities of underweight models from fashion catwalks. You can read the whole article here. From the article: “The Sept. 13 decision from the Madrid regional government to enforce a ban on underweight models for Madrid Fashion Week catwalks has sent shock waves through the global fashion industry and set off a chorus of calls to expand the ban and formulate a new industry standard. The government's decision is intended to promote a healthier body image.” The move is likely to be copied by a number of other countries including England, Italy and India. Hopefully, designers like Karl Lagerfeld who have stated they like their models to look like "cloth-hangers" will see the light.
We have a duty as parents to reinforce in our children and in each other appropriate and realistic standards of body image. We need to encourage and reward achievement rather that appearance. I have always told my patients that it is not how much they weigh that is important but rather how healthy they are. Scales are not a good measure of how healthy you are; I want to know how far you can walk or run. The media industry’s emphasis on unrealistic and unachievable body type is doing our young men and women a great disservice at the very least. In far too many cases, it is playing a significant role in the development of serious eating disorders and life changing problems with body image and self-esteem.

Joseph Froncioni

Photo Exhibitionism - Follow-up

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-11-01T05:08:00-04:00

Bermuda Society of Arts Fall Members' Show - Follow-up.

In my October 10th post, told you that Alexandra and I had submitted 3 photos each to the Bermuda Society of Arts Fall Members’ Show (October 13 – October 31). Here’s what happened.
Two of my photos, Rolled Leaf and Fireworks sold on the opening night for $150. each. This is the first time I have ever shown my work and the very first time I have ever sold a work of any description. Don’t know what to say! Alexandra’s photos were not for sale.
A review of the show by Andrew Trimmingham appeared in the October 20th Mid-Ocean News (unfortunately not on their online edition). Here are some excerpts: “The Froncioni family, perhaps with time freed up by Joseph’s retirement as chairman of the Road Safety Council, has burst forth as photographers of notable talent. Burst forth is exactly what Joseph Froncioni does with his first work, Fireworks, a digital print of a fireworks display. If anything could enhance the spectacle of a fireworks display, this photograph does it.” “Joseph Froncioni’s Portrait of Alexandra and two photographs by Alexandra all stand out in the crowd. I was particularly fascinated by Alexandra's photograph Shadows – cast by two walkers on a shingle beach. The texture of the shingle changes perceptibly in the photograph from the light to the shade and produces an unexpectedly interesting contrast that is well composed and in a well balanced colour scheme. Equally well coloured, if somewhat less satisfyingly composed is Blurman.” Mr. Trimmingham can be a really tough critic so Alex and I are quite pleased with the review.
And this from a review by Charles Zuill that appeared in the October 31st edition of The Royal Gazette: "Included in the group of new artists are two who are well known in the community, but for reasons other than their artistic endeavours. One such participant is MP Dale Butler who is exhibiting two photographs that appear to be the result of travels in the Far East.....Dr. Froncioni is also exhibiting photographs. I especially noted the sensitive choice of frame for his Portrait of Alexandra. By sensitive, I mean that the choice of frame and mat tied in beautifully with the photograph itself. They work together in beautiful harmony. The portrait is notable in that the most prominent features are the eyes. Much of the face and head are hidden by a hat and other appendages. Interestingly there are also three photographs by Dr. Froncioni's daughter, Alexandra Froncioni, so we have not only a portrait of her but a selection of works by her."
Finally, The Bermuda Society of Arts has asked me to donate Portrait of Alexandra to its permanent portrait collection. I was blown away…and of course I said yes. I think I’m going to quit my day job! Not.

Joseph Froncioni

The Gondola's Gearbox

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-31T20:45:00-04:00

Essay on the forcola of the gondola.

OK. I admit it. Maybe we were lost…but in a good sort of way, if you know what I mean. We’d come over the Ponte dell’Accademia and meandered along the maze of narrow calle’s, rio terra’s and sotoportegio’s that lead nowhere and everywhere in the sestiere of Dorsoduro in Venice. At one point, we chanced upon a celebratory gathering of graduating medical students who were parading along drinking and eating in a reenactment an age-old tradition of Venice. We came across a small shop that sold fine hand-made paper and right next door a traditional bookbinder. Then, there was the shop that traded in what I can only describe as small “treasures”; there were hand-shaped porcelain glove molds, intricately carved wooden models of people and animals that artists use, precious glass spheres to gaze into the future and brass door-knockers with faces of mythical creatures.

Walking into these shops was like going through the looking glass. The creak of the door, the tinkle of the bell, the not-overly-friendly smile of the minder gazing over his reading glasses from the chiaroscuro of his perch and the feeling that one is intruding, that one does not really belong in this world of ancient secrets. I guess we are creatures of fluorescent light, mass-produced objects and overly friendly but meaningless service. I would move to Venice tomorrow if I could.
We were headed in the general direction of Campo Santa Margherita, the social epicenter of Dorsoduro when we came upon the sign in a shop window: Remi e forcole. Inside was a man wielding a small adze shaping a piece of wood held in a traditional carpenter’s vice.
The piece looked like a work of modern sculpture and so I concluded we were watching an artist at work. Turns out I was not entirely wrong…nor was I exactly right. Mounted on the farthest wall in the shop were a dozen or so oars. Oars? Long and slender these were, with fine sharp blades. The floor was covered in wood shavings and scattered around the shop were pieces nearly identical to the one being worked on. We ventured in.
We’d had a good lunch with wine; good thing since my Italian is always improved dopo pranzo. Friendly greetings and firm handshakes all round. “I’ve got to ask you what it is you are carving.” I said. He smiled, paused and answered, “…una scatola del cambio di gondola.” “Scusi ma non capisco.” I replied. Did he say a gondola’s gearbox? He did. The man just said he’s carving a gondola’s gearbox! “Yes, yes. I make the gearbox for the gondola.,” he said in his broken English. He had my attention.
Turns out we were in the presence of a remèr, a member of the dying breed of Venetian woodworkers who specialize in making the oars (remi) and oarlocks or oar posts (forcole) for traditional Venetian watercraft, the most well known being the gondola. In 1307, the remèri joined forces to form a corporation and by 1773, there were 244 registered members. Today, they are so few that they can be counted on one hand.

So let’s get back to the gondola’s gearbox. This man was sculpting a forcola. To understand the forcola one needs to understand the Venetian method of rowing.
Known as voga alla veneta, this unique rowing style evolved to suit the narrow canals of Venice. The rower stands, faces forward and uses a single oar on the starboard side. Forward propulsion is achieved by dipping the blade and pushing the oar shaft against a fulcrum that is the oar post or forcola. Why, you may wonder does the gondola not veer to the left in circles given that the thrust is exclusively on the right? The main reason is that the gondola is flat bottomed and is constructed with longitudinal asymmetry…think of a banana floating on its side, right side concave. The natural tendency of the gondola making headway is to veer to starboard. This is counteracted by the thrust of the oarsman exclusively on the starboard side as well as his stance on the portside of midline causing a slight port list. In this way, the gondola can move in a straight line in spite of being rowed only on one side. Furthermore, the unilateral oar arrangement is ideally suited to the narrow canals of Venice.

Voga alla veneta is a pleasant rowing technique. Not only does it give the gondolier an excellent vantage point while navigating the narrow canals but it also affords enhanced maneuverability. Recent studies have also demonstrated that the technique is extremely efficient. The energy expended by a gondolier rowing the 400kg gondola with 3 passengers aboard is nearly the same as for walking the same distance.
The forcola has evolved into a highly complex form. Its beginnings, however, were quite humble. We know that in the XVI Century, the forcola was nothing more than a flat board, usually scavenged from scrap wood in shipyards, affixed to the side of the craft and serving as a simple oar post. But, even in this most primitive of forms, we begin to see what our friend the remèr meant by his use of the word “gearbox”. In general terms, a gearbox is a system that transmits mechanical power from a prime mover to some form of useful output device. The oar post acting as a fulcrum for the oar permits the gondolier, the prime mover, to transmit the work of arm extension and walking aft, to the dipped oar blade resulting in forward movement of the gondola. This is the simple oar post serving as a “forward” gear. By pulling the oar against the front edge of the oar post, we have a “reverse” gear.
One can imagine wear marks forming on the oar post on the most frequently used surfaces. Eventually, oarsmen came to rely on these wear marks as the ideal leverage points on the forcola. These wear marks were known as morsi or “bites” and remèri began to design them into the oar post.
In the XVIII Century, we find the development of the sanca or “elbow” of the forcola. This elbow or bend in the forcola allows for some of the leverage points or morsi to be at various distances from the side of the gondola. This resulted in the equivalent of “high” and “low” gears for the gondolier giving his craft even more versatility of movement. The need for extreme maneuverability eventually led to the refinement in the number and placement of morsi on the forcola resulting in a “gearbox” that not only permitted forward and reverse high and low gears but also stern thrusting and rudder functions. The modern gondola stern forcola has no fewer than 8 functional leverage points i.e. 8 gears!
Usually made from walnut, the modern forcola has taken on a truly sculptural form. Much of its present-day shape has no doubt resulted from natural design modifications based on functional wear patterns as well as intentional and well thought out mechanical innovation. However, most experts agree that as for many beautiful objects, some of the forcola’s present shape results from modifications that were purely aesthetic. Indeed, the authentic forcola is sought after by art collectors all over the world. Examples can be found in a number of important museums including the Museum of Modern Art and the Metropolitan Museum in New York City.

I do not own a forcola. This may surprise you. It’s not that I have not had opportunities to purchase one over the years. I want one really badly. What I’m trying to say is that it would not be enough for me to just “buy” a forcola. I want to spend some time in Venice with the express goal of visiting as many remèri and squeri (small shipyards where gondolas are built) as I can. I want a forcola with a story. I have a feeling the journey will end up being as important as the destination.

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 5

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-25T23:00:12-03:00

The Butterfly Stool

Simplicity of design and elegance of form typifies the work of Japanese born Sori Yanagi. Borrowing plywood molding techniques developed by Charles and Ray Eames, Yanagi has given us the iconic Butterfly Stool. Constructed of 2 identical maple plywood elements held together with a brass stretcher and 2 screws under the seat, this low stool has been manufactured by the Tendo Co. Ltd. In Japan since 1956.

The Butterfly Stool is a fusion of Eastern aesthetic and Western interior design. Personally, I have always been uncomfortable with the name of this object. Certainly, I see the obvious similarity with that most beautiful of fluttering insects. However, when I look upon my Yanagi stool, I am transported to a Shinto shrine with its imposing torii (portals) and I see the Kanji symbols of Japanese calligraphy.
See more photos of my Butterfly Stool here.

ARTFUL INSULTS

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-18T19:22:20-03:00

A very long list of artful insults.

The insult hurled in anger can strike like a slap across the face. More satisfying, however, is the insult that while delivered in a subtle and subdued manner affects the recipient like a slow acting poison. Spanning the gamut of human expression from quip to diatribe, good insults aim for the heart. Demeaning and hurtful as it may be, the clever insult, well phrased and artfully delivered can be a thing of beauty.
Assembled here from numerous sites on the net is my collection of insults. Some may be apocryphal and for this I apologize. Some are not so funny through no fault of mine.
The list is long…very long. Pace yourself as this is a buffet of insults, a smorgasbord of slight. There are one-liners and there are dialogues. I’ve even included a 2,800 word epic of an insult (FLAMINGEST POST EVER at the very end) which is a must read. Enjoy!

LOOKS

• "A blank, helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before you drench it with DDT."           John Carey
• "A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster."           Earl Long
• "At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date."           Edith Massey in "Polyester"
• "He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating."           Ayn Rand
• "He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser."           George C. Scott
• "He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously."           Oliver Goldsmith
• "He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own."           Margaret Halsey
• "He strains his conversation through a cigar."           Hamilton Mabie
• "He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble."           P. G. Wodehouse
• "He's a trellis for varicose veins."           Wilson Mizner
• "He's so fat, he can be his own running mate."           Johnny Carson
• "He's so small, he's a waste of skin."           Fred Allen
• "He'd make a lovely corpse."           Charles Dickens
• "Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak."           Woody Allen
• "Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style. It will look ridiculous year after year."           Fred Allen
• "Her only flair is in her nostrils."           Pauline Kael
• "Her skin was white as leprosy."           S. T. Coleridge
• "His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison."           John Quincy Adams
• "His face was filled with broken commandments."           John Masefield
• "His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin."           John Philpot Curran
• "His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with."           Charles Lamb
• "I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere."           Noël Coward
• "Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?"           Dr. Gonzo
• "It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey."           Jeff Foxworthy
• "Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache."           Alan Bennett
• "She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache."           Noel Coward
• "She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else."           Elsa Lanchester
• "She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it."           Bob Fosse
• "She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin."           Heinrich Heine
• "She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig."           Margot Asquith
• "She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered."           James Matthew Barrie
• "She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin."           Will Rogers
• "She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand."           Saul Bellow
• "She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork."           Jonathan Swift
• "The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes."           William Shakespeare
• "When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes."           Josh Billings
• "Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum."           P. G. Wodehouse
• "Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight."           from "The Greatest American Hero"
• "You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation."           Irvin S. Cobb
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WOMEN

• "She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees."           Joan Rivers
• "She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers."           Alexander Woollcott
• "She's been on more laps than a napkin."           Walter Winchell
• "She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together."           John Cantu
• "She's the sort of woman who lives for others -- you can tell the others by their hunted expression."           C. S. Lewis
• "So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name."           Alan Bennett
• "She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation."           Jean Webster
• "She never was really charming till she died."           Terence
• "She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens."           Michael Arlen
• "She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious."           W. Somerset Maugham
• "She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all her friends."           Harold Nicholson
• "She should get a divorce and settle down."           Jack Paar
• "She was kind of girl who'd eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but peanuts and filberts."           Raymond Chandler
• "That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them."           Dorothy Parker
• She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.           Ada Leverson
• "She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people."           Robertson Davies
• "She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again."           Charles Talleyrand
• "She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake."           Margot Asquith
• "A woman is just a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."           Rudyard Kipling
• "A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice."           Phillip Marlowe
• "A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all."           James Boswell
• "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often."           Oliver Herford
• "Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body."           John Vanbrugh
• "The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is."           Helen Rowland
• "Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one."           W. C. Fields
• "Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking."           Rupert Hughes
• "Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman."           Maryon Pearson
• "Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in."           Katharine Whitehorn
• "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."           Elizabeth Taylor
• "Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible."           Margaret Mead
_______________________________________________________________

DRAMA
• You have obviously spent so much time with your head wedged between your buttocks that your vision has been obscured by the reflection of your own putrid entrails.       Anonymous letter to John Simon (NY drama critic).
• The conscientious Canadian critic is one who subscribes to the New York Times so that he knows first hand what his opinion should be.    Eric Nicol, 1968.
• On the production "The Cupboard": Bare.    Clive Barnes
• lt seems to be that giving Clive Barnes his CBE for services to the theatre is a bit like giving Goering the DFC for services to the RAF.    Alan Bennett on the drama critic for the New York Times.
• Everybody who was anybody was there --- that is they were there till the end of the second act.    Noel Coward on the first night in New York of the play "This was a man"
• Her own one-woman play about fatness... coming soon, no doubt, will be "Prepare To Meet Thy Dome", a searing drama about receding hairlines.    Nick Curtis on Susan Gott's "Watching and Waiting".
• Where Shakespeare had written the word `O' she favoured us with an extended imitation of a hurrying ambulance.
• Kempinski's problems deserve understanding and pity -- but not a paying audience.    Nick Curtis
• It is said that the quickest way to empty a theatre is to yell "Fire!" Another method slightly slowed, is to put on the current National Theatre production of "The force of habit".
• It is the kind of play that one might enjoy more at a second hearing, if only the first time through hadn't left such a strong feeling that once is enough.       W.A.Darlington
• If I was Sir Peter Hall and had instigated such a production, I would take myself out to dinner and very tactfully but firmly sack myself over dessert.    James Fenton
• During the overture you hoped it would be good. During the first number you hoped it would be good. After that you just hoped it would be over.    Walter Kerr
• The Red I believe stood for communism. The Rainbow stood for the light in the heavens after communism took over. The audience stood for more than could be imagined.    Walter Kerr on "The Red Rainbow"
• It had two strikes against it. One was that you couldn't hear half of it. The other was the half you could hear.    Walter Kerr
• It has the depth of a cracker motto, the drama of a dial-a-recipe service and the eloquence of a conversation between a speak-your-weight maching and a whoopee cushion.    Bernard Levin
• Prompter steals the show in UCLA Macbeth.    L.A.Times
• [It has] dialogues that writers of cat food commercials might well spurn.    Sheridan Morley on "No Sex Please --We're British"
• The hills are alive with the sound of cliches...    Sheridan Morley
• A production of such mind-bending awfulness that only the laws of libel prevent me from dwelling on it at even greater length.    Sheridan Morley
• Could it be time to change the brand of cheese?    Barrie Stacey on the long running production The Mousetrap.
• I saw it at a disadvantage - the curtain was up.       Arthur Wimperis
• Most ballet would be quite delightful were it not for the dancing.
• [Sir Laurence] Olivier brandished his technique like a kind of stylistic alibi. In catching the eye he frequently disengaged the brain.    Russell Davies
• His perfomance is such that he is taking some kind of personal revenge on the play.       Robert Cushman
• They make a remarkable ventrlioquist act. Together they amount to a prat with a perm holding a green duck with a squeaky voice dressed in a nappy. The only intriguing thing about their act is trying to work out which one is which       Stafford Hildred on Keith Harris and Orville.
• No-one walked out of the perfomance, but several ran out.

• "Your manuscript is both good and original. But the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good." Attributed to Samuel Johnson

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GROUCHO MARX

• "Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" 
• "You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?" 
• "She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon." 
• "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." 
• "Don't point that beard at me, it might go off." 
• "Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?" 
• "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped." 
• "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." 
• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." 
• "I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along." 
• "Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did." 
• "Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you." 
• "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." 
• "Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!" 
• "Time wounds all heels." 
• "Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know." 
• "Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?" 
• "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." 
• "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." 

• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

• Go, and never darken my towels again.

• I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

• "You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it." -

_____________________________________________________________________

WINSTON CHURCHILL

• "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." 
• "Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." 
• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." 

_____________________________________________________________________

REPARTEE

• Lady Nancy Astor: If I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee. Winston Churchill: If I were your husband I’d drink it.

• Lady Astor reproaching Churchill, “Winston, you are drunk,” to which he replied, “Indeed, Madam, and you are ugly—but tomorrow I’ll be sober.”

• "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
• "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

• "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
• "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." Winston Churchill in response
_______________________________________________________________

OSCAR WILDE

• "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." 
• "She is a peacock in everything but beauty." 
• "I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot." 
• "He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone." 
• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." 
• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." -

• "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." 

_______________________________________________________________________

MARK TWAIN

• "I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight." 
• "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" 
• "Had double chins all the way down to his stomach." 
• "Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." 
• "You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear." 
• "Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint." 
• "He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity." 
• "His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere." 
• "Reader, suppose you were an idiot; and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." 
• "God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board." 
________________________________________________________________

MAE WEST

• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -

• "The finest woman that ever walked the streets." 
• "She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong." 
________________________________________________________________

INTELLIGENCE

• "A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead."           Alexander Pope
• "A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post."           Tom Waits
• "A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits."           Alexander Pope
• "Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?"           from "Heathers"
• "Differently clued."           Dave Clark
• "Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair."           Josh Billing
• "End of season sale at the cerebral department."           Gareth Blackstock
• "Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale."           David Letterman
• "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."           Abraham Lincoln
• "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."           Robert Redford
• "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."           Billy Wilder
• "He is brilliant - to the top of his boots."           David Lloyd George
• "He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea."           John Steinbeck
• "He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages."           Mark Twain
• "He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it."           Joseph Heller
• "He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."           George Bernard Shaw
• "He knows so little and knows it so fluently."           Ellen Glasgow
• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."           Forrest Tucker
• "He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style."           Leo Tolstoy
• "He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one."           Earl of Rochester
• "He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop."           Sydney Smith
• "He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold."           John Ruskin
• "He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."           Andrew Lang
• "He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright."           Samuel Butler
• "He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong."           Benjamin Disraeli
• "His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons."           Robin Williams
• "His ignorance is encyclopedic."           Abba Eban
• "His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it."           F. H. Bradley
• "His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it."           Heywood Braun
• "I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?"           Ashleigh Brilliant
• "I wish I'd known you when you were alive."           Leonard Louis Levinson
• "I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland."           Eugene McCarthy
• "If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck."           William Lashner "Veritas"
• "Little things affect little minds."           Benjamin Disraeli
• "Next-day delivery in a nanosecond world."           Van Jacobson
• "No more sense of direction than a bunch of firecrackers."           Rob Wagner
• "Please try not to be such a wiener-head."           Dave Barry
• "Sharp as a sack full of wet mice."           Foghorn Leghorn
• "She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit."           W. Somerset Maugham
• "She is a water bug on the surface of life."           Gloria Steinem
• "She's descended from a long line her mother listened to."           Gypsy Rose Lee
• "Stay with me; I want to be alone."           Joey Adams
• "Teflon brain (nothing sticks.)"           Lily Tomlin
• "That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."           Douglas Adams
• "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."           Thomas Brackett Reed
• "Useless as a pulled tooth."           Mary Roberts Rinehart
• "What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!"           from "Murphy Brown"
• "What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement."           Fred Allen
• "When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?"           David Letterman
• "While he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter either."           James Thurber
• "You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving."           David Letterman
• "A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits."        Edith Sitwel

_________________________________________________________________________________

MISCELLANEUS

• "Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?"           Milton Berle
• "We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault."           Ashleigh Brilliant
• "Well, I think we ought to let him hang there. Let him twist slowly, slowly in the wind."           John Ehrlichman
• "What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank."           Liberace
• "You're a parasite for sore eyes."           Gregory Ratoff
• "Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week."           William Dean Howells
• "Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence."           Ashleigh Brilliant
• "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind."           Joseph Stilwell
• "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."           Jack E. Leonard
• "They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway."           Hunter S. Thompson
• "I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork."           Irving Brecher
• "You're a good example of why some animals eat their young."           Jim Samuels
• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."           Irvin S. Cobb
• "If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?"           Charles Pierce
• "In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority."           Ellen Glascow
• "I've had them both, and I don't think much of either."           Beatrix Lehmann (watching a wedding.)
• "Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life."           Ivy Compton-Burnett
• "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."           Stephen Bishop
• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."           Clarence Darrow
• "I never liked him and I always will."           Dave Clark
• "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."           Fred Allen
• "I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion."           Robert Louis Stevenson
• "I thought men like that shot themselves."           King George V
• "He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him."           Eddie Cantor
• "He looked as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food."           Raymond Chandler
• "He's completely unspoiled by failure."           Noel Coward
• "He's liked, but he's not well liked."           Arthur Miller
• "I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest."           Steven Pearl
• "Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."           Oscar Levant
• "Fine words! I wonder where you stole them."           Jonathan Swift
• "Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other."           Neil Simon
• "You had to stand in line to hate him."           Hedda Hopper
• "You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn't match the rest of you."           Norm Papernick
• "You're a mouse studying to be a rat."           Wilson Mizner
• "You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin."           Joe Orton
• "Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time."           Frederic Raphael
• "The perfection of rottenness."           William James
• "The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech."           George Bernard Shaw
• "There goes the famous good time that was had by all."           Bette Davis
• "Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles."           Jack London
• Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.""           Tobias George Smolett
• "Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others."           Kin Hubbard
• "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity" thrust upon them.”           Joseph Heller "Catch-22"
• "The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread."           William Keegan
• "No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast."           W. S. Gilbert
• "Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid."           Heinrich Heine
• "He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code."           Earl Wilson
• "He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces."           Mae West
• "He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup."           Wilson Mizner
• "He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head."           Margot Asquith
• "I will always love the false image I had of you."           Ashleigh Brilliant
• "I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse."           Woody Allen
• "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."           Charles, Count Talleyrand
• "He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met."           William Faulkner
• "He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.”           Charles Kingsley
• "He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin."           Dorothy L. Sayers
• "He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes."           Molly Ivins
• "He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes."           Fred Allen
• "He was trying to save both his faces."           John Gunther
• "A dork is a dork is a dork."           Judy Markey
• "Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep."           Dennis Healy
• "Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog."           Harold Wilson
• "Failure has gone to his head."           Wilson Mizner
• "God was bored by him."           Victor Hugo
• "Greater love hath no man than this, to lay down his friends for his life."           Jeremy Thorpe
• "He could never see a belt without hitting below it."           Margot Asquith
• "He had delusions of adequacy."           Walter Kerr
• "He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul."           David Lloyd George
• "He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front."           Leonard Louis Levinson
• "He is a man of splendid abilities but utterly corrupt. He shines and stinks like rotten mackerel by moonlight."           John Randolph
• "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."           John Bright
• "He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him."           Herbert Beerbohm Tree
• "He is as good as his word - and his word is no good."           Seamus MacManus
• "He is mad, bad and dangerous to know."           Lady Caroline Lamb
• "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."           Samuel Johnson
• "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."           H. H. Munro
• "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."           Paul Keating
• "He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time."           Eugene Field
• "He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease."           Henry James
• "He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds."           Percival Wilde
• "He makes a July's day short as December."           William Shakespeare
• "He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money."           Moliere
• "He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged."           Simone Signoret
• "He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp."           Kate Cruise O'Brien
• "He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep."           Dorothy Eden
• "He was as great as a man can be without morality."           Alexis de Tocqueville
• "He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."           Victor Borg
• "A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity."           Benjamin Disraeli
• "Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."           Al Capp
• "An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to."           Gene Fowler
• "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."           Fred Allen
• "I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all of the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake."           John D. Rockefeller
• "If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."           Dorothy Parker
• "If there's anything disgusting about the movie business, it's the whoredom of my peers."           Sean Penn
• "In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history."           Spiro T. Agnew (about the press, 1970)
• "Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles."           Henry VanDyke
• "Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls."           Jackie Gleason
• "Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write."           A. E. Housman
• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."           Moses Hadas
• "The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character."           Lyndon Johnson
• "This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force."           Dorothy Parker
• "This is one of those big, fat paperbacks, intended to while away a monsoon or two, which, if thrown with a good over arm action, will bring a water buffalo to its knees."           Nancy Banks-Smith (review of M. M. Kaye's "The Far Pavilions")
• "Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty."           Lillian Hellman
• "You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner."           Aristophanes
• "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
• "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."       Abraham Lincoln
• "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop
• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." Irvin S. Cobb
• "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." Samuel Johnson
• "He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr
• "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." Thomas Brackett Reed
• "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
• "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." Charles, Count Talleyrand
• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker
• "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination." Andrew Laing

• "Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coprolalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning zoophyte." Translation: "Sir, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunch-backed, thick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life." (no attribution)

• "His ignorance is encyclopedic" Abba Eban

• "Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour." Gioacchino Rossini

• "This isn't right, this isn't even wrong." Wolfgang Pauli, upon reading a young physicist's paper

• "He would make a lovely corpse." Charles Dickens

• "I worship the quicksand he walks in." Art Buchwald

• "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

______________________________________________________________________________

FLAMINGEST POST EVER

From: [email protected] (Takeako Itsushira)
Subject: Jef Sewell: the joke of Usenet
Date: 1997/04/02
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
X-Deja-AN: 230313431
Organization: Hate
Newsgroups: rec.video.desktop

CAVEAT LECTOR
Expatiation into apothegm.
Mordant philippic #1.
Ara.

Jef Sewell <[email protected]> wrote:

>It is [partially] to your credit that you found that phrase particularly
>amusing, as it was intended to be a joke. Before you go patting
>yourself on the back for all your supposed wit, I'd like to point out I
>beat you to the punch, to spare a small pun. What do you think I was
>referring to when I put that line in there? Where you state "of course
>I'm making reference to the beating [that Alex took]..." demonstrates
>that in your mind the correlation just occured to you. I was referring
>to that rumour IN MY FIRST POST.

Well, Jef, frankly, NO ONE in Austin, Texas (not even on Usenet) wishes to
be subjected to your dullardry. That's why I am writing you. Quite
simply, I wish to gleefully pick apart your insipid ramblings just so
everyone here can have a little glimpse of what it's like to have the
fiercest succession of abjectly hurting charientisms thrust upon them at a
scientifically yet-inestimable velocity to the power of itself -- and not
be able to so much as quiver and choke back tears of regret for ever having
vocalized his/her irrelevant consciousness (that is; speaking his/her mind,
if, in fact, it could be considered as such -- a "possibility" which the
author soberly refutes and intends to completely invalidate by the end of
this post).

First things first, chum: drawing a comparison between Alex Jones and Fox
Moulder retains about as much intellectual validity as witnessing your own
mother naked. As I'm sure you know, since it's glaringly obvious that
you've experienced both, neither situation is particularly insightful or,
in any other manner, sagacious. For this alone, you are a glib,
retch-brained oligophreniac at best. It would, indeed, be the apex of
modern existence to strike you repeatedly in a back alley as you beg for
your ineffectual nothing-of-a-life, but upright organisms such as myself
have better things to do, like making you and your excerebrose would-be
pontifications rebarbative, irrefutable proof of just how mind-numbingly
simple it is to operate a computer. Your pitiable attempts at sardonic
wordplay are transparent, coprolalial shards of sophomoric faux-elocution
which, incidentally, resemble some of the lesser-evolved of Alex Jones'
xylocephalous utterances.

I don't know, personally or even remotely, the gentleman who wrote you the
scathing harangue, Jef, and I'm not thoroughly convinced that he finished
the job. All I profess to know in regards to these somewhat-dated messages
is that you need some remedial English lessons.
From what I have gathered, Michael Hall bit the child on the ankles, as
they say. There is no perspicaciously apparent ratiocination to surmise
that he didn't "get" your in-joke ... I'm relatively sold on the concept
that he, like me, just thought the joke sucked shit. Gasp, you pompous
idiot!
In fact, it sounded to me as if you and Alex Jones share more than just a
.sig file, if you get my drift. Are you, like, sleeping with him?

Anyway ...

It is for the maximized pleasure of all reading this post (except, of
course, Jef him/herself) that I bring immediate attention to the fact that
this inarticulate loser can't even spell "occurred."
Come on, Jeffy ... third-grade conjugations. Now, I know what alot of you
will declare in response to this: why place such massive importance upon an
insignificant fragment of an understood, albeit hardly-understandable and
utterly incomplete, "whole"?

It happens that I, unlike some of my well-wishing peers, find it completely
irresistible to do anything but impugn and denounce when I catch wind of
someone "flubbing their lines," as it were. If our little man Jef hadn't
been so smug in his retaliatory position, presumably because he couldn't
take being called-out as meager internet-fodder, perhaps nothing more than
a casual mention -- in place of this grandiloquent public mockery --
would've occurred.

If we cannot rely on the rudiments of language (e.g., those pesky RULES of
spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.) to communicate our opinions, ideals,
and cultural expectations, what, then, is to be the alternative? A system
wherein all participants are encouraged to make random substitutions for
commonplace words based on similarities in appearance, as is unquestionably
the case here? This is no different than, say, a careless interchanging of
the words "their," "there," and "they're" -- a prevalent error and, yet,
one that is irrefutably unforgivable when the antagonizing party is
willingly immersed in an ardent debate that, whichever the case, SHOULD be
eagerly intended by any deliberating parties to be both remembered --
preferably favorably -- and, likewise, contemplated by future scholars of
communication and media/infrastructure ontology.

So, by way of an easily recognizable, admittedly somewhat moot description
of an analogous situation, I extend: if you're not going to play by the
rules, Jef, don't bother playing at all, because SOMEONE will ALWAYS have
you pegged, and you'll invariably find yourself sidelined well before the
commencement of the second quarter. The phrasal device I just utilized is
known as a "metaphor," Jef.

It's clear to anyone with even HALF a corpus callosum that you are the
egregious sort of wanker who finds it appealing to substitute the British
spellings of CERTAIN English words, while others are inadvertently,
inexplicably left in their Americanised forms, respectively. I refer,
unmistakably, to your spelling of the word "rumor." Offer proof that you
were taught in the UK and I'll not only overlook this apparent blunder;
I'll apologize on this very forum and, perchance, even eat my own hands.

The assumption that you may have, at some point in your past, read a
British novel is not sufficient. Besides, you can't fool me. Your
rambling non-sequiturs and unintelligible obiter dictum are no match for my
tirelessly observant, undaunted apprehension of transformational syntax and
linguistics.

I refuse to believe for one-thousandth of a nanosecond that Jef is familiar
with the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis.
It is the author's suspicion that Jef has never read a word in his life
regarding morphophonemics, lexicology, semantics, deep structure, harmony
in discourse, and the like.
Connotative inferences aside, the author aspires to interpolate the
heretofore-unsuggested conundrumic riposte; one of such alarming breadth
and dysphemistic sovereignty ... a work of unadulterated paradoxical
significance, breaking little Jeffy's heart all the while and,
simultaneously, repudiating other pompous know-nothings, thus discouraging
them from making asses of themselves, as Jef undoubtedly has.

>Though I'm relatively certain there
>are probably only ten or fifteen people out there following this
>particular thread, I'm confident that the higher minds would be inclined
>to side with me on this issue as I took no political stance to begin
>with. A small, modest attempt at social commentary was all I was making.

Your so-called "modest" attempt has been duly noted and subsequently
discarded as incognizant. I feel inclined to put faith into the assumption
that, because of the manner in which you address these "higher minds," you
are either soliciting their aid in this personal grievance or you somehow,
truly give credence to yourself as being a thinker of such distinction.
While the former is somewhat more likely, the author acknowledges Jef's
abecedarian leanings and respects that he, as a survival instinct of sorts,
may have employed a tactical characteristic exclusive to most fustian
weaker-minds: that of insinuating, instead of stating outright, one's
alleged intellectual status.

In other words, by merely interposing a suggestion that he is of the
upper-echelon intelligentsia, Jef has endeavored to create an obstacle,
though tragically not insurmountable, so as to dissuade further potential
criticism. After all, if he had offered, "I am a genius," would
authentication of this claim not be sought after by more than just a
handful of the net's more isomorphically-vindictive and, thus, attentively
more cruel, REAL heads?!
At least, I'm sure I wouldn't pass up such a golden opportunity.

Let me rephrase it for Jef.
You shouldn't be allowed the satisfaction of drawing breath, you nescient,
debilitated, floundering, elliptical, imbecilic, confounded, impercipient
heap of mental flatulence. Mindless ne'er-do-well simpletons like you
should be shot point-blank in the face with illegal sawed-off shotguns and
disposed of accordingly. I pity your family more than your
non-epigrammatic mind could conjecture.

>Apparently you just really have it in for some of ACTV's personalities
>and wait for any and every opportunity to scream and shout about it...
>It is cable access, dude. Might I recommend, with all of this raging
>passion you possess, that you consider popping on over there and getting
>a producer's license? I'm being quite serious, this time. Seems a
>waste of a lot of energy to sit on the dirt roadside of Usenet and throw
>rocks at unsuspecting passerbys when you could be driving a monster
>truck right over folks on the freeway of Access Television.

What, exactly (if you don't mind telling me, Captain Dipshit), are "passerbys"?
The term is "passers-by," you retarded prick. It's not that hard to
remember, dumbass. Those who are "passing by" would be the "passers" going
"by," right?

Author's note: I recognize that the term "passer by's" is accepted, as in:
"that passer by's name is Jef Sewell ... kill him!"
However, Jef, surely, did not intend this contemptible malapropism.
As a matter of fact, either way you look at it, Jef didn't punctuate it
correctly -- but who's keeping score?

Aside from me, that is.

The real shame here, Jef, is that you have to rely on reflections and
maximizers to strengthen your ersatz particulars and atone for your being
devoid of a brain stem. You, sir/madam, are an erroneous, blithering,
myopic, undiscerning dunderpate; a wlatsome, mephitic, yirning,
woodenheaded, braggadocio-spewing rodomontade; an incompetent, oblivious,
subliterate, menial, one-dimensional, perfunctory, expressionless,
derivative, banal, fifth-rate, uninteresting, incalculably subordinate,
garrulous, quixotic, superfluous wanna-be bitch; a drooling, hackneyed,
stereotypically unprepared, diarrhea-mouthed clone; a diseased, repellent,
lackluster, automated, flabbergasted, half-cocked, anthropocentric,
capricious, pedantic, sectarian, injudicious, laughable, piddling,
trifling, farcical, callow, indecent, buffoonish, puerile, negligible,
repetitive, unassuming, trite, inefficient, garden-variety,
unprepossessing, ambiguous, fallible, unlearned, perplexed, vacant,
oblivious, dense, preoccupied, sallow, unimportant, opaque, vacuous,
benign, smarmy, asinine, fat-witted, uneducated, misinformation-absorbing
anti-intellectual; a medulla oblongata-deprived, irrational, juvenile,
sempiternally-spurious tatterdemalion; an inerudite, unenlightened,
nonconceiving, tentative, gauche, vague ignoramus; an uninspired,
puddingheaded dunce; a tenderfoot; a neophyte; a dabbler; a middlebrow ...
nay, King of the Lowbrows; a huckster; a shyster; a sham; a dupe; a drone;
a greenhorn, novice dilettante; a goddamned fucking shit-sucking FOOL.

>I can say that to your credit AT LEAST you have the courage to be an
>equal opportunity discriminator. If at first you don't succeed, ad more
>hominum (Before you respond and say 'He can't even spell ADD!, know that
>I'm bending the phrase 'ad hominum', to suit my purposes. )

You dimwit jackass. You make me physically ill. Get the fuck off my
planet, you facinorous, napiform, labrose, quisquilian, papuliferous,
highfalutin, shit-eating dolt. You worthless nincompoop. You artless,
insensate, self-indulgent, diminutive, pimply, sordid, offensive,
stenching, empty-shelled, loathsome, yearning adherent. Your
polysyndetonic, weakly-embellished excursus has been laid open for all to
patronize and condescend; intent disregarded, conveying nothing.

Numbskulls like Jef don't deserve their own recrement.
I'd love to burn out his eyes with a soldering iron, run a catheter into
his ocular chasms, and fill his hollow cranium to capacity with boiling
urine, scorching out BOTH of his synapses ... but that circumstance would
be too inexorable and uncompromising, even for Jef Sewell, the dilapidated,
backward maroon.
On second thought, scratch that. Jef deserves SO much worse for all his
ill-established assertions. If not for the intimidation of
prison-sentencing, the man would already be defunct.

Don't sweat it, Jef ... no one's gonna say anything about the way you
spelled "ad." Not when there's a perfectly incorrect "hominem" to be
pounced upon.
TWICE, to be precise.

Ah, Latin.

Ad hominem - literally translated: to the man. Usually incorporated into
arguments dealing with a person's character. In this case, I can only
assume you were taking another "modest" jab at your attacker, in hopes of
defaming. Does it really hurt that much, you unlearned coddler? Why
couldn't you leave well enough alone, for God's sake?!

Michael Hall, to the best of my recollections, didn't make ONE faux paus in
his spelling. The only mistake made was in letting you get away with being
such a snot-nosed hack. Oh, by the way, just so you know, I didn't
misspell "ADD!"
More realistically, you couldn't even spell "misspell," could you?
Wah, wah, wah.

For your entertainment, I have intentionally misspelled ONE word in this
document, which I bet you can't find without the assistance of your
spell-checker. If you post the only acceptable rejoinder in under
twenty-four hours, I will mail you a fifty-dollar bill. No kidding,
shit-for-brains. I procure a bountiful sum of delectation for all of us,
in solemn observation of the incontrovertible certitude that the
unessential lump of subservient ineptitude that is Jef Sewer has neither
the capacity nor the motivational temperament to make the necessary
transition from maundering bureausis to the ostensibly distinct interests
of the split-brained, opposable-thumbed Homo-erectus anytime soon. He'll
be cowering in the corner of a shower stall, wishing he could get his rocks
off, if only into the expansive duodenum of some crack-addled transsexual
prostitute.

Face it, you bedwetting girl-man, you are unqualified.

You infantile amateur. Ante bellum, you may well have escaped this sort of
public ridicule. Unfortunately for you, something inside just wouldn't let
go until the final distressing chord.
Regrettably, Jef, you had to shoot off your fat mouth. Your marred
undertaking to feign concinnity and enhanced verbification proficiency have
not gone unnoticed by the society of elevated thinkers to which I belong.
We share trenchant fits of laughter everyday at your expense. You are a
product of and, as an undeviating consequence, a reticent contrivance for
the prevailing de facto modus vivendi; that is to say, you are nothing more
than the rounded-down mean-average and that, tragically, is all you shall
ever be. Idiocy-spilling cretin.

Coincidentally, the aforementioned "rounded-down mean-average" is
inestimably minor, a trivial pittance of the overall human potential. What
is so excruciating is that almost everyone is like you, Jef.
What's it like to be considered an unavailing clown by an entity of
indubitable substance? What must it feel like to have the pliant marrow of
your existence anatomized, cross-referenced, and scrutinized?
I know it hurts, crybaby.

And now everyone ELSE knows it, too, you detestable parasite.
Everyone knows that you are nothing more than a stammering, boorish,
apple-polishing, obstreperously boastful alcatote with a big, stupid chip
on his/her shoulder.
You prattling, squeamish, defiled, jabbering, stumbling, inelegant,
coaybtete-leranous, unlovable, twaddling, red-faced blatherskite.
You docile, obstropulous, ludicrous stinkard.
You skulking, sluggish, foppish lackwit.
You vexatious, fidgety, cumbersome, precarious, mutable, tremulous,
vitriolic, faltering, vacillating, inconstant, insecure, crisis-fearing,
shivering, haughty, defected agglomeration of shit-encrusted pig
intestines.
You fraudulent, heinous, meaningless, incapable, enervated,
disproportionate, unintriguing, anomalous, inbred, fetid, herpid, putrid,
pointless, useless, infirm, unacceptable, squandered, aimless, decaying,
inauspicious, naive, unpleasant, unskillful, inept, reasonless,
embarrassing, inopportune, cowardly, ignorant, bile-sucking filthmonger.

Ut supra, feeb, a priori, ex nihilo nihil fit, et alia, ad infinitum.
in re, res ipsa loquitur, persona non grata.
Ecce signum, ecce homo, ecce lapsus linguae, ad nauseam.

Compos mentis, cogito ergo sum.
De profundis.
Deus ex machina.

Jef Sewell -- eo nomine, infra dignitatem, lusus naturae, memento mori.
Horribile dictu, ars longa, vita brevis, ad extremum.
Et sequens ...

Jacta alea est. Quo vadis.
Sic transit gloria mundi.
Pro bono publico, ad libitum mori.

Caveat ignoramus.
Ad astra per non aspera.
Ad extremum.
Lex taliones.

Ecce erratum.
Et cetera.
Veni, vidi, vici.
Summa cum laude.
Verbum sap.

Adsum.
Ad hominum (sic).

Just for the record, I haven't touched a dictionary, thesaurus, or any
other word book today. Have you?
I wouldn't waste the time on a piece of tedious dogshit like you, you
sniveling, congenital, adenoidal, cocksmoking faggot.
And, no, I'm not a homophobe, but for lack of a MORE appropriate insult ...

Fucking imbecile.

I hope Michael Hall and that other Michael you so espouse to abhor tear
into you. I'm sure both of them will believe that your continual
misspellings of the same word are all part of some secret, underlying,
sarcastic pleasantry.

Why don't you spend a little less time on Usenet, pal? The two Michaels
don't even seem to care. Guess that about fucks any theory you may have
had about him (Michael Hall) "wasting energy" here.

And to Mr. David Brian Scott, in the other Michael's defense, I'll inform
you without any further procrastination -- I've heard the Burroughs quote
BOTH ways, depending on which piece of cut-up you choose to reference.
Evidently, it is YOU who should stop pretending, chump. If I ever see you
in Metro (not that I frequent the establishment), I'll probably beat the
holy fuck out of you. As for Jeffy, you wouldn't know a logical statement
if it bit your shriveled prick off, so I don't consider your analysis of
Burroughs' proclamation (either incarnation) to be particularly intuitive.

What a winner you are.
A prize cluck.

Get a goddamned vocabulary before picking any future arguments, boy.
Go join your astral brothers beyond the comet.
And, as a final note that I'm satisfied even Jef will be able to
understand: go suck your whore mother's diseased schmendrick, you impotent
cunt.

No one could ever REALLY love you.

The Inner Life of a Cell

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-16T17:45:13-03:00

A beautiful teaching animation on the workings of a cell.

We explore the deep oceans and venture into outer space in order to satisfy our curiosity about the universe. Few of us, however, realize that there is another universe within, a world every bit as amazing as that without: the inner life of the cell.
XVIVO, an animation company in Connecticut, has produced an 8-minute piece for the Cell and Molecular Biology Department at Harvard University that is spectacular. The animation depicts the inner workings of a lymphocyte as it senses and responds to an external stimulus. Watch it below or better still in its high-resolution version here.

There’s a lot going on in this clip and those of you who are biology oriented may have noted the following (collated from a number of sites that featured the animation) events:
A lymphocyte is rolling along inside a blood vessel. We see the exterior of the cell and then zoom in to see the proteins in the membrane that are mediating the rolling by contacting other proteins on the surface of the substrate. We then go inside the cell and first have a tour of the various cellular components - mostly the elements of the cytoskeleton and proteins being moved around in the membrane on lipid rafts. We then, in just a beautiful sequence, see the assembly and disassembly of actin and then microtubules before watching a motor protein, most probably kinesin (From Wikipedia: Kinesin is a class of motor protein dimer found in biological cells. A kinesin attaches to microtubules, and moves along the tubule in order to transport cellular cargo, such as vesicles. Kinesins typically consist of two large globular heads that allow attachment to microtubules, a central coiled region, and a region termed light-chain, which connects the kinesin to the intracellular component to be moved. Most kinesin-related proteins move toward the plus end of the microtubule, as does kinesin itself, but some move toward the minus end.) lumbering along a microtubule bearing its enormous cargo (a vesicle) in what is surely one of the most awesome processes shown. In a further extended sequence we watch mRNA being processed into protein. It is ejected from the nucleus, processed and translated by ribosomes into the endoplasmic reticulum, the protein is transported to the Golgi apparatus, where it is further processed and then finally ejected into the cytosol where it carried to the membrane where its function will be to mediate the rolling of the lymphocyte.
Congratulations to lead animator John Liebler and his team for giving us a beautiful glimpse at the inner workings of a cell. I only wish I had access to something like that when I did my cell and molecular biology in medical school. Hope they produce more of these animations.

Joseph Froncioni

Famous Last Words

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-14T17:03:48-03:00

A collection of famous last words.

Dying is no laughing matter I suppose but it sure is a life changing experience. At least that’s what they tell me. The ones that haven’t died, that is.
Came across this web site and picked out my favorite Famous Last Words:

• I'm losing.  Frank Sinatra
• They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.  General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying it
• I'm bored with it all.  Winston Churchill, before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later.
• LSD, 100 kilograms I.M.  Aldous Huxley To his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
• I really need a therapist'  Christopher Grace, an actor who killed himself during a matinee performance of Greece
• No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.  Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.
• Don't worry, relax!  Rajiv Gandhi, Indian Prime Minister, to his security staff minutes before being killed by a suicide bomber attack.
• Dammit... Don't you dare ask God to help me.  Joan Crawford. This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
• Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!  Groucho Marx
• Is someone hurt?  Robert F. Kennedy, to his wife directly after he was shot and seconds before he fell into a coma.
• Don't worry...it's not loaded...  Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger.
• Get these fucking nuns away from me.  Norman Douglas
• Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.  Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 4

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-13T18:31:28-03:00

The Zig Zag chair.

Best known for his 1918 RED AND BLUE CHAIR and the Schroeder House in Utrecht (1924), Gerrit T. Rietveld was at once a meticulous cabinetmaker and an avant-garde architect. The ZIG ZAG CHAIR which he designed in 1934 (pictured above) was most likely Rietveld’s response to Theo van Doesburg’s call for a resolution to the tension between vertical and horizontal lines.

At first glance, ZIG ZAG appears to be fragile and one could not be faulted for expecting this chair to collapse when sat upon. Fear not. The chair can hold its own by means of dovetail joints and corner wedges (The original design also had screws and bolts but these are no longer used.). Rietveld actually described this chair as a “designer joke”. Not a comfortable chair by any means, ZIG ZAG is visually striking on account of the very acute intersection of the four planes that make it up.
In 1972, Cassina was granted exclusive worldwide rights to produce and market furniture and other objects designed by G.T.Rietveld. The modern version is now made of cherry wood with a natural polished finish. Always a subject of conversation and included in the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art, ZIG ZAG continues to rank among the design icons of the last century.
I’ve had my ZIG ZAG for over 15 years and although for the most part it has brought me a great deal of joy, it did, for a short period manage to become a source of considerable angst. Shortly after moving into QUICKSWOOD, some 15 years ago, we got Pasta, a mixed breed German Shepherd. One evening, we came back from a dinner party to find that the dog had taken a liking to the ZIG ZAG and eaten the whole front corner where the seat intersects the diagonal upright. I was beside myself! “Off with her head!!” was my first reaction. By the next day, I had calmed down sufficiently to attempt to find a solution to the disaster. I brought the chair to Andre Hubbard, cabinetmaker and fine furniture restorer the on Burnt House Hill. He and his assistants were shocked at the extent of the damage but agreed to attempt a repair. Two weeks later, the chair was returned to me with nary a trace of the canine attack. Hubbard and his crew had managed to perform their equivalent of plastic surgery so that none but the most discerning eye would pick-up the scar. That night, I returned the ZIG ZAG to its place of honor on the landing thinking that both the dog and I had recovered sufficiently from our respective posttraumatic stress. The next few days served to fade the memory of the defaced objet d’art.
Oh but how life can be unfair. Not being an animal behaviorist, I’m am still at a loss to explain this but…yes…you guessed it, the bloody beast had another go at it! Damnation and all the curses of hell on you, dog!@#! Josée did a good job of restraining me lest I get in trouble with the RSPCA. Same corner but this time with a bit more gusto! This dog must have taken a liking to cherry wood. So back to Mr. Hubbard I went and I kid you not that the lady who had done most of the restorative work on it the first time started crying. Fix it again they did (Needless to say, this was getting to be a pretty expensive chair.), and to the same level of perfection as the first time, I might add. This time however, I took no chances: “Twice burnt, third time very shy.” You may think this is crazy but I resorted to “invisibly” fencing off the chair. The dog was already conditioned to invisible fencing around the property so it took no time at all to have her understand that an electric awaited her if she got within 4 feet of the ZIG ZAG. Even though we removed the invisible fencing a year later, the dog never went close to that chair again. I guess she had lost the taste for cherry wood.
You can see more photos of my ZIG ZAG here
….and try to spot the restored bit.

Joseph Froncioni

The World’s 50 Best Restaurants!

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-12T22:31:57-03:00

The World’s 50 Best Restaurants according to Restaurant Magazine.

“Food has it over sex for variety. Hedonistically, gustatory possibilities are much broader than copulatory ones. Literarily, reading about food is more interesting than reading about sex. The authors of The Physiology of Taste and of Histoire d’O, for example, are writers equally obsessed, but how charming is Brillat-Savarin’s obsession, how sickening Reage’s! Similarly, how delightful it is to hear someone describe a magnificent meal, or comical to hear a botched one described, whereas listening to the same person describe a seduction is almost invariably boring, if not repulsive. Perhaps the reason for this is that eating is the more social function, sex the more personal, and as such eating shows people in a greater multiplicity of poses, moods, and characters than does sex. Modern psychologists to the contrary, there is more going on at the table than in bed.”
(Joseph Epstein (b. 1937), U.S. author, editor. “Foodstuff and Nonsense,” Familiar Territory: Observations on American Life, Oxford University Press 1979.)

In 2002, Restaurant Magazine published its first list of the world’s 50 best restaurants. Since then, the list has become one of the most respected arbiters of the planet’s top food temples. It has gained this renown primarily on account of its selection process which although it has changed somewhat over the years, remains, at least in my mind, fair and inclusive.

The process in 2002 was simple: Restaurant Magazine asked a number of well traveled chefs, restaurateurs and food critics to name their 5 favorite restaurants in the world. They then compiled a list of the top 50 based on the selections. Much has changed since then. This year’s list involved a much more elaborate process. The world was divided into 20 voting regions. For each region, an expert familiar with that region’s restaurant scene was appointed chairperson. The chairperson then selected a voting panel for their region. Each voter was allowed to vote for 5 restaurants, only 2 of which could be within their own region. Worldwide, 560 voters cast 2,800 votes from which the top 50 restaurants were chosen.
And so we have Restaurant Magazine’s The World’s 50 Best Restaurants 2006. These establishments are the Meccas of my food dreams, the shrines of gastronomy and the bellwethers of change in fine dinning. Looking down the list, however, one must keep in mind that this is a mere snapshot of a very rapidly changing scene. Indeed, restaurants come and go and superstar chefs rise and fall. The truly great restaurants though have staying power. They are able to turn out fare at the very highest levels of quality and refinement and do this over and over again. Here are some of my personal observations, mumblings from a gourmand if you wish, on the list.

• I am sad that TAILLEVENT is not on the list. My feeling is that it’s just too crowded at the top. This venerable Trois Etoilles Michelin, I thought, deserved a mention. If you decide to eat there, you must first read A Meal Observed by Andrew Todhunter.
• I am overjoyed that PIERRE GAGNAIRE, another Trois Etoilles Michelin, has risen to number 3 on this year’s list, up from number 6 last year. We had one of our most memorable meals there in 2005. I don’t remember each and every one of the 37 courses presented to us but I can tell you that the experience was sublime. Cirque du Soleil for the senses, nirvana for the gastronomic soul.
• Fighting it out for top spot in the last few years are EL BULLI and THE FAT DUCK, both with 3 Michelin stars. What is most amazing is that these establishments are more laboratories than kitchens! Both Ferran Adria (elBulli) and Heston Blumenthal (The Fat Duck) are as much food chemists as they are chefs. Their craft is more molecular gastronomy than cooking. Both run food research and development facilities that could easily be mistaken for pharmacology labs. I have never eaten at either of the restaurants (Reservations at elBulli are taken years in advance.) but their reputations are unparalleled. To get an idea of what the food world is so excited about, leaf through a copy of elBulli 1998 - 2002 or elBulli 2005. I think you’ll be impressed. Ferran Adria also has a line of stainless steel tableware called FACES that’s pretty special.
• FRENCH LAUNDRY, Thomas Keller’s restaurant in California has been at or near the top of the list since 2002. Mr. Keller also scores an 8th place on this year’s list for his Manhattan eatery PER SE on 60th street.
• Only 2 Canadian restaurants have ever made the The World’s 50 Best Restaurants list: EIGENSINN FARM near Collingwood, Ontario and SUSUR in Toronto. We’ll be eating at SUSUR Friday November 3.

All this writing has made me hungry…and thirsty. Good thing we’re on our way to a tasting at Gosling’s new facilities this evening.

Joseph Froncioni

Photo Exhibitionism

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-10T19:01:06-03:00

Bermuda Society of Arts Fall Members' Show - Froncioni submissions.

A first for me and probably for Alexandra as well. Alex and I both belong to the Bermuda Society of Arts
and we will be showing three photos each at the upcoming Fall Members’ Show. Exciting! This is a judged show so it will be great to get feedback from other photographers.
Here are the photos I have submitted:

FIREWORKS

ROLLED LEAF

ALEX IN STRAW HAT AND SCARF

Here is one of the 3 photos Alex has submitted. (Alex is in Halifax and I have been unable to locate the original digital images for 2 of the photos.):

GONDOLIER

Tell me what you think about them and I’ll tell you what the judges thought.

Joseph Froncioni

Cell Phone Chatter

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-08T06:09:23-03:00

Essay on cell phone use while driving.

There are rumblings circulating Bermuda calling for the banning of cell phone use while driving. The topic comes up every so often and everyone likes to have a say. The poor cell phone, for some, is to blame for all of our road safety woes. Anyone using a cell phone while driving automatically becomes an “idiot”. Well, here’s one idiot’s take on the matter:

1- There is no question whatsoever that cell phone use while driving is a distraction that can lead to inattention. However, there seems to be a general misunderstanding as to the nature and relative importance of this distraction. There are many other factors both inside and outside the vehicle that can distract the driver from the task at hand. A number of studies have ranked the following distractors ahead of cell phone use: eating or drinking, events happening outside the vehicle, adjusting climate control or radio settings, consulting on-board GPS navigation screens, and conversations with passengers (Most would now agree that a conversation with someone on a cell phone is more dangerous than a conversation with someone in the vehicle because the passenger is aware of the current driving circumstance and will tend to cease conversation if he perceives danger whereas the person at the other end of the cell phone is oblivious to the driver’s environment.).

2- It has been shown over and over again that it is the cognitive aspects of cell phone use and not the mechanical ones that contribute most to the distraction. Sure, text messaging at the wheel requires both your dominant hand and your eyes and that’s obviously not too smart. However, the issue at hand is talking on a cell phone and the main consideration here is what percentage of your attention is dedicated to the conversation rather than to driving. “Hi honey, I’m on my way home.” takes up much less of your attention (I know not all husbands will agree ☺) than having an argument with your business partner. Furthermore, the longer the cell phone conversation, the more distracted the driver becomes.
3- It is also well proven that there is virtually no difference in cognitive distraction between a conversation using a hand-held phone and one using a hands-free unit. Remember, what takes your attention away from driving is the amount of brain power dedicated to the conversation and not the act of holding something in your hand. Yes, dialing a cell phone is a factor but nowhere as important than the intensity and length of the conversation.
4- Cell phones have become ubiquitous and are now viewed as a necessity rather than a luxury and this is becoming true even in developing countries. In this context, individuals place a great importance on being able to communicate anytime, anywhere with anyone they choose. There is a real or perceived benefit to using cell phones even while driving. The Harvard Center for Risk Analysis addressed this question in a series of studies. The studies conducted focus groups to examine the perceived benefits of cellular telephone use while driving. The studies found the following:

Individual/Family Benefits

• Peace of mind
• Reducing the number and duration of trips
• Expanding productive time
• Contacting emergency services
• Strengthening social networking

Community Benefits

• Decreased accident response times
• Improved knowledge about emergencies for emergency response teams (e.g. how to get to the scene, what equipment to bring)
• Improved life-saving outcomes
• More effective apprehension of criminals (such as drunk drivers)

Furthermore, economic studies by the same group suggest that the monetary value of using a cellular telephone while driving exceeds the cost, even when those costs include safety risks expressed in dollar units. Furthermore, compared to several other ways (lap/shoulder belts or daytime running lights) of improving traffic safety, restrictions on the use of cellular telephones while driving appear to be inefficient, i.e. they cost much more than other safety measures to produce similar safety outcomes.
5- Jurisdictions that have introduced cell phone bans have had little success in decreasing the prevalence of cell phone use by drivers. New York State was the first prohibit the use hand-held cell phones while driving. The implementation of the law was preceded by an extensive public awareness campaign. Prior to the law, 2.7% of drivers admitted to using a cell phone while driving. One year after the ban, cell phone use had dropped to 1.3%. However, one year later and in spite of heavy ticketing for the offense, the number of cell phone users had returned the pre-ban level of 2.7%

The current outcry to ban cell phone use while driving is, in my opinion, not completely justified. Instead of new legislation, government would do better spending money on increasing public awareness of these issues. The cell phone in use is the only really visible distractor to the outside observer so that’s the one we bitch about. Furthermore, to ban hand-held phone and not hands-free units accomplishes nothing more than hiding the problem of cognitive distraction. Driving without due care and attention is well covered in the present law and there is no need to single out one particular distractor. It would make much more sense for the powers that be to enforce the speed limit and the seatbelt/child restraint law rather than waste time, money and resources on yet another law, which is unlikely to be enforced.

Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 3

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-06T07:36:25-03:00

The Mezzadro Stool.

The first version of the Mezzadro (sharecropper) stool was shown at the X. Milan Triennial in 1954. Designed by Achille and Pier Giacomo Castiglioni and presented under the theme “Art and Production”, the Mezzadro stool did not undergo its final design iteration until 1957 when, in its present-day form, it was presented at the exhibition entitled “Colori e forme nella casa d’oggi” at Villa Olmo in Como.

Description: lacquered sheet steel tractor seat affixed to a chromed steel bow by means of a wing nut and stabilized by a solid beech wood footrest. The stool first went into production in 1970 (Zanotta s.p.a) at which time it formally acquired the name Mezzadro.

Strikingly radical and at once spare and utilitarian, the Mezzadro stool is a joy to sit on. Heavy construction materials give it a feel of rock-solid stability. The flexible steel bow gives it dynamism. The bright colored seat makes it stand out. The quintessential “found object” and now considered an icon, Mezzadro is in the permanent design collection of the Museum of Modern Art.

I purchased my Mezzadro many years ago from Moss on Green Street in NYC. In May this year, Moss celebrated the 50th anniversary of Zanotta with a special tribute to Achille and Pier Giacomo Castiglioni. They commissioned 50 Mezzadro stools, each in a different spectacular color, each signed and numbered. The photo below shows the stools as they were exhibited.

Joseph Froncioni

That's One Small Step...

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-03T18:31:11-03:00

Neil Armstrong’s famous words.

Have a look at this video of Neil Armstrong’s first step on the moon and listen carefully to what he says. The video was shot on July 21st 1969 at 0256 GMT. Since then, people have been perplexed at Armstrong’s exact words. He seems to be saying, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” What he had planned to say was this: , “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” The a makes all the difference. Without it, the statement makes no sense as it means “That’s one small step for mankind, one giant leap for mankind.” It’s repetitive. The a brings out the contrast between the individual and the whole human race. The a gives the statement its grandeur and universal significance. Armstrong says he came up with the phrase sometime between the lunar landing and his historic first EVA from the LEM. Since he uttered the phrase, he has been accused of having botched it by omitting the a . Armstrong himself has never been sure whether he got it right or not.

Thirty-seven years later, we finally have the truth. An Australian computer programmer, Peter Shann Ford, has analyzed the original audiotapes from NASA and proven that the missing a is indeed there. He used audio editing software called GoldWave to show the a was spoken but that because of static was never recorded by Armstrong’s microphone. Always nice to have the record set straight.

(This story was first reported in the Houston Chronicle and can be found here.)

Joseph Froncioni

Torture by any other Name

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-02T17:07:48-03:00

Commentary on the Military Commissions Act.

The recent bill approved by the American Congress is bad news indeed. While American men and women are dieing presumably to defend the principles of democracy, free speech, human rights and civil liberties, the White House has weaseled through the Military Commissions Act which all but officially sanctions torture at the President pleasure and among other things, gives the President the right to ignore the traditional right of habeas corpus, a principle that has been in existence since the Magna Carta in 1215.

This article from the LA Times by Niall Ferguson supports what every bone in my body is telling me: Things are not looking good for the late great US of A and this is one turn of events that is unlikely to have a happy ending.
Joseph Froncioni

Say That Again!?

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-02T12:31:24-03:00

Story on progressive hearing loss with age.

Getting older is a bitch. Maturation is entropic, believe me. And one of the most frustration things about getting older is progressive hearing loss. Hearing loss happens to all of us. All those rock concerts and more recently, the iPod have contributed to a gradual decline in your ability to hear. Ladies, you’ll be happy to know that men suffer more rapid hearing loss than women.

Furthermore, the greatest loss happens in the high frequencies. Normal range of hearing for a young person is around 20 – 20,000 Hz. Human speech is normally falls within the 100 – 5,000 Hz range.

Here’s a web site where you can test your hearing threshold. I have to tell you that when I first tried it, my kids were in the room. I activated the 18,000Hz signal and couldn’t hear a thing, so I hit the button again…and again. Phil, who’s 18, pleaded for me to stop. He said the sound was killing him. I couldn’t believe him at first but it soon became evident that he wasn’t kidding. I discovered to my great disappointment that the upper end of my hearing is now about 13,000Hz. Josée’s is the same. I’m 53. Josée’s not 50 yet.

The whole thing stinks. I remember when I was much younger and my parents would take me to one of the large jewelers in downtown Montreal, I just could not enter because the high frequency alarm tone would hurt my ears while my parents couldn’t hear a thing. Alas, I no longer have that problem, something for which my wife is very thankful.
Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 2

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-10-01T16:55:52-03:00

The stainless steel soap.

No longer the novelty it once was but still in the permanent design collection of the Museum of Modern Art, the stainless-steel soap feels as good as it looks. Given its eerie likeness to a river stone, you might be excused for believing that it was formed naturally by the action of flowing water on a chunk of metal.

Invented by Guy Degrenne for MASTRAD, a French kitchen appliance manufacturer and first introduced to the market as DEOS, the stainless-steel soap has won numerous design awards including medals at the Concours Lépine in 1994 and at the Salon des Inventions de Geneve in 1999. (My example pictured above is made by the German firm Blomus.) MASTRAD has sold nearly two million stainless-steel soaps since its introduction.
Here is the claim: under cold running water, gently rub the stainless-steel soap over your hands and unpleasant odors disappear like magic. No soap needed, works on all odors including fish, onion, garlic and bleach. We’ve had a stainless-steel soap for years and I must say that it seems to work. I’m hedging a bit because the scientist in me is not quite convinced. I suspect that a double blind randomized study comparing the stainless-steel soap to say, washing with ordinary soap and water, might not show a significant difference.

A web search yields very little on the actual mechanism of action of the stainless-steel soap. An old urban legend says that you can remove odors from your hands by rubbing them across the blade (dull side!) of a stainless-steel knife or any other stainless-steel utensil. Chrome or stainless-steel faucets have the same effect. So, it appears that the shape of the DEOS is not a significant factor. The exact mechanism of action, if it works at all, is a matter of speculation at best but may be as follows (according to Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D from About.com): “It makes sense to me that the sulfur from the onion/garlic/fish would be attracted to and bind with one or more of the metals in stainless steel. Formation of such compounds is what makes stainless steel stainless, after all. Onions and garlic contain amino acid sulfoxides, which form sulfenic acids, which then form a volatile gas (propanethiol S-oxide), which forms sulfuric acid upon exposure to water. These compounds are responsible for burning your eyes while cutting onions and also for their characteristic scent. If the sulfur compounds bind to the steel, then the odor is removed from your fingers.”
Be that as it may, the stainless-steel soap is a beautiful object. If you haven’t already done so, try one and tell me what you think. If you find it doesn’t work, you can always use it as a paperweight.
Joseph Froncioni

Death of the Necktie?

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-29T07:26:33-03:00

Essay on the necktie.

I broke the shackles 18 months ago. I wasn’t easy. Old habits die hard and this was indeed an old one. As a resident, it was bow ties. Then as a consultant, I alternated between Brooks Brothers and McGill school ties….”the orthopedic school of dressing”, my wife would call it. In the end, my taste had evolved to expensive Canali or Boss numbers. But wear them I did, day in and day out and this in spite of the fact that they were a pain in the ass to put on and added precious time to my morning ritual. Ties are uncomfortable, they need to match the outfit and they’re stain magnets. And ever get a tie dry-cleaned? It ruins the tie every time.

And so it was that I decided it was time to kick the habit. I stopped wearing a tie to work. In fact, I did my best to stop wearing ties altogether. Indeed, over the last 18 months, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve worn a tie. Oh, and by the way, that hand I’m doing the counting on is the very same one my wife twisted up behind my back to get me to wear a tie on those few occasions. Excluding black tie events and my in-laws’ 50th wedding anniversary, going tieless is becoming much more acceptable.
So why, you may be wondering, have I chosen to write about neckties now? Well, the reason is that I have come to a confluence of ideas, a synergy of memes. It just so happens that in the past couple of months, I’ve come across a few articles that give me the (maybe false) impression that I was ahead of the curve on this one. Here are a couple of examples. Earlier this month, a piece by Kathryn Hughes in the Guardian titled Uncool Under the Collar speaks about dramatic declines in tie purchases especially among professionals. You may want to read the whole article via the link above but I couldn’t help but include Ms. Hughes’ final two paragraphs:

“There is, finally, another very good reason for men to reject the symbolic freight of a tie. For while the necktie started off as a dandified bit of kit (as near as dammit to tucking a lace hanky into the top of your shirt), from Victorian times onwards it became austerely and dominatingly male. As a result, any woman wearing a tie in the 20th century was either very obviously in drag for her own pleasure or was being forced to send a slightly humiliating signal to the world that she wished to be viewed as a neuter (it's for that reason, surely, that disturbingly luscious adolescent girls are still obliged to wear a tie to school).
In these metrosexual days, however, for a man to insist on wearing a tie does not speak of a casual and unforced masculinity, but suggests instead a nagging worry about where the proper markers lie. For, viewed against a crisp white shirt, the classic dark tie forms an urgent pointing finger, dragging the viewer's eye straight towards the wearer's genitals. "Look," the tie seems to shout, like an embarrassing drunk in the pub, "there's no doubt about it, he's definitely all man."”

And consider this from the Telegraph that begins:
“Until today, it was fairly safe to assume that a grubby tie was the sign of a slob, not an assassin.
How wrong we were. A liberally stained tie is not only the epitome of sloth, it is a lethal weapon, too, a germ warfare laboratory of terrifying capabilities.
Wear a dirty tie and you become a killer, was the suggestion yesterday from the British Medical Association, which is urging doctors to abandon neckwear.”
Now, I’ll admit this is a bit of an exaggeration. However, the writer is correct that the British Medical Association has recommended that doctors abandon the tie. The tie is one of the only pieces of cloth that in the health care setting does not get cleaned regularly. When’s the last time you sent a tie out for dry cleaning? See? When you consider that doctors, especially surgeons, come into contact with patients, some with open wounds, on a daily basis, you realize that you might be getting a culture swab from each of them….WITH YOUR TIE. I had a chat about this with our infection control people who tell me that ties AND white lab coats are currently under careful scrutiny by infection control committees around the world. Makes sense to me.

Call me a bellwether of fashion. Call me metrosexual. Or don’t call me at all! But, I suspect the tie may be on its way out and I for one will not mourn its loss.
Joseph Froncioni

That (slightly less) Enigmatic Smile

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-27T19:04:46-03:00

New finding about the Mona Lisa.

"Mona lisa, mona lisa, men have named you
You're so like the lady with the mystic smile
Is it only cause you're lonely they have blamed you?
For that mona lisa strangeness in your smile?"
Nat King Cole, Mona Lisa' (lyrics by Jay Livingstone and Ray Evans, 1949)
You may have read this article in today's Toronto Globe and Mail (Exerpt: 'Mona Lisa had recently given birth to a baby, a team of Canadian and French scientists announced Tuesday, so her mysterious smile may have expressed the weary joy of a mother with a newborn. Using infrared technology that allowed them to see beneath a layer of varnish, the researchers found that Leonardo da Vinci's model had a gauzy layer over her dress they say was typically worn by pregnant women of the time, or mothers who had recently given birth."). You may also have seen the following infrared photo from the NYT giving the world its first glimpse at Mona Lisa's guarnello.

I'm not sure I wanted the enigma to be removed from that smile. But while La Gioconda may just have lost some of her mystery, she has, in my humble opinion, gained that radiance, that glow and that aura seen in happy mums. This photo of Josée two days before giving birth to Alex has that glow...and quite remarkably that Mona Lisa smile!
My very own Gioconda!
Joseph Froncioni

OBJECT 1

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-27T07:06:47-03:00

The Eames Leg Splint.

Some objects are designed to serve a specific function but then unexpectedly take on characteristics that that transport them to greater heights. This is one such object and it is one of my favorites. As on orthopedic surgeon who collects modern chairs, this object is for me a veritable treasure. A sandwich of Douglas fir and birch veneers, this leg splint designed by Charles and Ray Eames for the US Navy in 1942 has become an icon of functional design.
`

Charles Eames had begun experimenting with the process of molding plywood into compound-curved shapes in 1940. By 1941, the Eames had fabricated a primitive plywood molding apparatus in their apartment and had begun working on compound-curved chair seats. In December 1941, it came to their attention that the Navy was having difficulties with metal fracture splints used in the field. The Eames’ immediately began work on a light molded plywood splint. Using Charles’ leg as an initial mold, they eventually developed a symmetrical leg splint incorporating appropriate contours to accommodate the upper thigh, the calf and the heel. This was a significant advance as the metal splints in current use were sufficiently non-conforming as to cause severe pressure sores especially under the heel with prolonged transport of patients.

The Eames leg splint was light, sturdy and washable and it nested well for storage and transport. Patients were comfortable in the splint primarily because of the anatomical contouring and enhanced immobilization of the fractures. Traction was applied by means of a makeshift cloth turnbuckle.
In November 1942, the US Navy placed an order for 5,000 leg splints and the Eames’ and some colleagues formed the Plyformed Wood Company in Venice, California. In October 1943, the rights to produce and distribute Plyformed Wood Products’ leg splints were sold to the Evans Products Company, a Detroit-based manufacturer of industrial equipment and lumber products. Eames’ company subsequently changed its name to the Molded Plywood Division, a West Coast subsidiary of Evans Products Company. By the end of the war, 150,000 leg splints had been manufactured and shipped to the Navy.
I acquired my Eames leg splint from the VITRA museum, a German institution that is a major caretaker of the Eames estate. Mounted on a plinth, the splint is often and understandably mistaken for a sculpture. More photos of my Eames leg splint can be found here.
Joseph Froncioni

Too Funny

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-24T10:33:22-03:00

Great Dear Ruth letter.

Found this on Slibe.com . Poor woman...
Joseph Froncioni

HELL

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-20T22:21:30-03:00

Essay on my reading of Dante's Inferno.

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita.

It is something I had been putting off for many years. Indeed, Dante Alighieri's epic poem, La Divina Commedia is a work that had existed furtively on my list of books-to-read but it had heretofore never made it to the top. It was only after reading Matthew Pearl’s The Dante Club, a novel centered around Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's translation (the first English translation by an American) of La Divina Commedia that I girded my loins and decided to take on the beast. It was something long overdue and deep down, I regretted not having read Dante while my father was still alive (more on this later).
First, let me tell you that although my conversational Italian is weak it does nevertheless hold a tiny fire that is easily kindled by a glass or two of wine. My literary Italian, however, cannot be resuscitated even by copious amounts of the finest Brunello. I will not disagree with you, therefore, if you conclude that my intention to read Dante in its original Italian was naïve at best.
Do you know how many editions of La Divina Commedia are in print? I can’t give you an exact figure but I will tell you that if you search for “The Divine Comedy” in the book section of Amazon, you get 7,697 hits and those are presumably only the titles in English. I had a lot to choose from. Furthermore, while visiting my mother in Montreal one day, it occurred to me that I should have quick look through my dad’s library for anything by Dante. My dad, after all, had been a voracious reader and I was sure that, educated in the classical tradition as he was, he would have read Dante at some point in his 69 years. I hadn’t gone through his library in many years and I was struck at the richness of his collection. Many of the literary classics were there, some in old leather bound editions. And, to my astonishment, I found not one but six editions of Dante! I was dumbstruck. Where had I been not to have know of the existence of these volumes. I guess that as a young man, I’d had no interest in such lofty tomes. But more importantly, I felt a pang of sorrow realizing that I would never be able to share my newfound interest in Dante with my dad. What an opportunity I had missed. I was touched when my mother said, “Take them, they’re yours.”
The volumes I found in my dad’s library were the following:

• The Divine Comedy. The Carlyle-Wicksteed Translation (1932) Pasted on the inside front cover was the following – Loyola College, Commencement 1947. Prize for Spanish awarded to Michael Froncioni
• Oeuvres Completes de Dante. Traduction et Commentaires par André Pezard. Biblioteque de la Pléade (1968)
• The Divine Comedy – PURGATORIO. Translated by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1867)
• Dante Alighieri – THE DIVINE COMEDY. Translated by Lawrence Grant White (1948)
• La Divina Commedia di Dante Alighieri – Vol. I: INFERNO. Con il commento di Tommaso Casini (1920) On the inside front cover, I found the following inscription: A mio carissimo Michele Froncioni. Michele Tortolani (I recognized this name to be that of the loved and esteemed Professore Tortolani, a personage that I remembered was dear to my grandparents.) Another inscription just below the first read: La Data? Quando Cristina era a Atina sposata in luna di miele (The date? When Cristina (my dad’s sister) was in Atina (The Froncioni ancestral town.) on her honeymoon. This was probably in the early ‘50s.
• La Divina Commedia di Dante Alighieri – Vol.II: PURGATORIO. Con il commento di Tommaso Casini (1920) Concealed in this volume, I found a letter from Professore Tortolani addressed to my dad and dated September 9 1952. The letter in written in a hand that is rarely seen today, calligraphy from an era of letter writing that has long since been replaced by the keyboard.

Happy as I was with my discovery in dad’s library, my search for an appropriate edition continued. I was looking for one that had the original Italian on one page and the English translation on the facing page. Oh yes…of course…I still intended to read Dante in the original Italian but I conceded that I would need to make frequent (read constant) reference to the English translation. Furthermore, I took the decision, like many readers before me, to only read (for now) Inferno, the first and by far most popular on the three canticas that make up the poem.
After a lengthy search, I settled on a very recent edition: Dante: Inferno. A Translation by Anthony Esolen (2003). It had good reviews and I liked the cover jacket (see my previous post “Form and Function”). Furthermore, I had leafed through dozens of translations and decided that I would make my choice based on the English translation of the first verse in Canto 1, probably the most oft quoted of all the verses. The original Italian is found at the start of this post. Esolen’s translation is as follows:

Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself in a dark wilderness,
For I had wondered from the straight and true.

Compare this to Longfellow’s 19th century translation:

Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.

…or this tedious version by A.Mandelbaum (1980):

When I had journeyed half of our life's way,
I found myself within a shadowed forest,
for I had lost the path that does not stray.

Look, I wasn’t doing a Ph.D. on the work so don’t be too hard on my criteria for choosing one edition over the others. Esolen seemed quite readable so I settled for it.

La Divina Commedia was an enormous undertaking for Dante. Born in Florence in 1265, it took Dante 13 years to write his poem (1308 – 1321). He died in Ravenna in 1321. The allegory he has left us takes us on an imaginary three-day journey during which Dante the Pilgrim is lead, firstly by VIRGIL through Hell and Purgatory and finally by BEATRICE, the woman he secretly loved and admired most, through to Heaven. On his journey, Dante meets many historical figures and observes the just deserts they have earned. It is in Inferno that Dante treats us to his most graphic descriptions hell’s torments as VIRGIL takes him down though the nine circles of hell.
I think a simple overview of the structure of the poem is called for at this point just to give you an idea of its complexity. In point form:
• La Divina Commedia is composed of three canticas, Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso.
• Each cantica is composed of 33 canti except for Inferno which has 34, the first one serving as an introduction to the whole work.
• Each canto is composed of verses in the terza rima form first used by Dante and illustrated by the following pattern of tercets: a-b-a, b-c-b, c-d-c,…
• Each line of each tercet is in hendecasyllable verse.
• The last word in each of the three canticas is “stelle” (stars).
• The entire poem is comprised of over 14,000 lines

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate’.
(Abandon all hope you who enter here.)
Inscription on Gates of Hell, Inferno, Canto3 line 9

And so, I started on Dante’s Inferno. I was excited to be reading a work that was written seven centuries ago. The going was rough at first but as I got used to Dante’s style, I began to appreciate the brilliance of this work still considered one of the greatest epic poems ever written. The English translation was essential, however, and I’m certain I could not have completed the read without it. The Italian of Dante is no longer in use and the poetic license he uses to keep his verses in terza rima make for even more difficult reading.
Half way through, I was overwhelmed by emotion. It occurred to me that had my dad still been alive, I would surely have proposed to him that he read Inferno to me in Italian. And he would have done it and with love. My father was the kind of man who would have prepared before every reading. He would have brushed up on the various characters and been ready to answer my every question. As I continued reading, I could not shake the heavy cloak of sadness that had descended on me, a cloak soaked in regret for missed opportunities. You may have read one of my previous posts on this blog entitled “100 Things About Myself” where I state “I have very few significant regrets in my life.” Well, this is one…and a very big one. In a sense, I missed the boat with my dad. I never fully sounded the depths of his intellect especially in the latter part of his life when he had much more free time for his intellectual pursuits. Some of the distance between us was geographical. Josée and I moved to Australia, then Bermuda, and never lived in Canada again except for very short periods. It was also a period when I was starting my career and my family and I had very little time for intellectual indulgences outside work. Be that as it may, a sense of melancholy remained with me for the rest of the poem. Never since my father’s death had I thought of him so much, never had I missed him so.
Looking back, taking on Dante’s Inferno was a trying but worthwhile experience for me. I am now satisfied that I understand why Dante is held in such high esteem in the world of literature. Take heed though: this is not light reading. For all but the literature scholars among us, this is hard work indeed. A little voice is telling that I should read the remaining two canticas, Purgatorio and Paradiso. We’ll see.
More important to me than getting to know Dante was getting to know my father better. Reacquainting myself with his library and discovering his treasure-trove of Dante ignited powerful feelings of admiration and fondness. And sadness. And regret. I also realize that in many ways, I’m very much like my dad both in genes and in memes.

Joseph Froncioni

HELENE - Keeping its Distance

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-19T05:49:24-03:00

Hurricane Helen update.

Still a cat 3, Helene looks like it will spare us; the tracking prediction below shows Helene waving at us from the east. Funny, I just put my 4100 Watt generator up for sale and intended (still do) to purchase a larger one to accommodate Helene.

Joseph Froncioni

HELENE - Already Cat 3

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-18T07:13:41-03:00

Hurricane Helene approaching.

Not funny! A monster called Helene is roaring toward us. We hope this very powerful storm will start veering north and pass us to our east. However, it's way too early to tell so all we can do is watch. We're beginning to feel like pins on a bowling alley!

Joseph Froncioni

Our Long Walk

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-15T17:24:25-03:00

Essay on my family's genetic journey.

I want to tell you about my family’s very long walk. I think this an important story for you to know about because it is very likely that your family walked side by side with my family for at least part of this long journey. We may not live on the same continent and our skin color may be different but it is a near certainty that our families started this long walk from the very same place and that we are related through common ancestry. After I tell you this story, I hope you will agree with me that what we have in common is so much more important than what it is that makes us different. We are one family, and this truth, oft distorted by religion and politics, is etched on our chromosomes for all to see. No longer need we rely on ancient books of magic and lore to tell us who we are and where we come from. For the first time in history, we have the opportunity to read a document that neither pope nor president can distort, and that document is our very own DNA.
The climate is changing from cold and arid to warm and humid; an Ice Age is on the retreat. We are in the Rift Valley of Africa somewhere in the region of present day Kenya, Tanzania and Ethiopia. It is some 50,000 years before the present and in front of us stands a short man with brown skin. He speaks with clicks and other unusual sounds. He could be mistaken for one of today’s San Bushmen. He is my earliest ancestor and we are at the beginning of my family’s long walk.
The man before you is a direct descendent of the genetic “Adam”, the man who, about 60,000 years ago, became the ancestor of all living humans on earth. This is not to say that our Adam was the only human alive at that time but rather that his Y-chromosome was the very one to be passed on to every man alive today. He is the earliest branch point of all genetic diversity found in the world’s human population. All people today, therefore, probably spring from one small band of hunter-gatherers who eked out an existence on the savannahs of Eastern Africa. We are all, in a very real sense, African.
Changing climatic conditions and herd migration may have been two of the factors that helped launch my earliest ancestor on his long walk out of Africa. However, coincident with the start of the journey was what anthropologists call “the great leap forward”. This refers to the rapid changes in cerebral function seen in humans around 50,000 years ago. These changes are manifest in the appearance of much more sophisticated tools, weapons and other artifacts in the archeological record of this period. More importantly, it is felt that during the great leap forward, humans rapidly developed more efficient methods of communication eventually resulting in language. The development of language was the single most important ingredient for success of the species. Language became the catalyst that spurred-on the development of sophisticated ideas and concepts. Language gave man the ability to act with foresight and planning and to expand his knowledge of the world around him.
By 30,000 – 40,000 years ago, the East African descendents of my earliest ancestor had started walking north along what is today the Sudanese and Egyptian coasts of the Red Sea. Their travels would take them out of Africa via the strip of land north of the Red Sea. Unbeknownst to this clan, their descendents would eventually make up 90 – 95 percent of the world’s non-African population (The other 5 -10 percent are the descendents of a smaller and earlier migration that left Africa south of the Red Sea and traveled a coastal route along the southern margin of Asia and reaching such faraway lands as Australia and the Americas.). With the onset of yet another Ice Age, the savannahs reverted to arid desert. Following the herds of woolly mammoths, my family gradually made their way into what is now the Middle East.
Our story has now reached 20,000 years ago. We are in an Ice Age still and the population of the Earth now numbers in the hundreds of thousands. My family is now making the slow transition from hunting and gathering to agriculture. It is probably in the Fertile Crescent, that area of the Middle East that stretches from the Nile Valley to the Persian Gulf, that around 10,000 years ago, the Neolithic Revolution really took hold. With the recession of this last Ice Age, the climate became more suitable to farming. Increasing control over food production meant that social groups could grow and prosper and with these changes came the early trappings of civilization.
My family’s long walk did not however stop in the Middle East. Instead, my ancestors continued along the Levant traversing what are now Israel, Lebanon, Syria and Turkey following the Eastern Mediterranean coast gradually spreading the seeds of the Neolithic Revolution and early civilization. Traveling mostly by foot and presumably also by sea, my ancestors gradually made their way to what is today the Italian Peninsula.
So there you have it. A 7,000 kilometer journey in approximately 50,000 years. When you think about it, that’s only about 140 meters per year! Two thousand generations migrating an average of 3.5 kilometers per generation. But listen: This was not a race!
Now I know you’re wondering how I got to know the story of my family’s long walk out of Africa. You may also be wondering how you can trace the migration story of your own family. The best way to answer these questions is to direct you to the The Genographic Project and to encourage you to participate in this extraordinary venture. Here, you will find out exactly how the Human Family tree is being reconstructed using tools never before available to us.
The world today is burdened with conflict and strife and I worry that we will pass it on to our children in a very sorry state indeed. There is no panacea for our woes but I am hopeful that education and knowledge will make up an important part of the solution. We must stop thinking of ourselves as different and we must eradicate the meaningless and outdated concept of race. Despite superficial differences, all human beings are genetically similar. How similar? Pick any two individuals on the planet and 99.9% of their DNA will be identical! We all come from Africa and many of our families traveled thousands of kilometers side by side. The sooner we all realize that we are all related, the sooner we can start mending our Small Blue Planet.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 7 ( last one)

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-13T12:28:16-03:00

QUICKSWOOD, Bermuda Wednesday, September 13 2006 12:30

HURRAH and praise the Big Bang!!! We have power! All systems are go. All pumps and cooling units up and running. Love those electrons!!

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 6

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-13T09:52:44-03:00

QUICKSWOOD, Bermuda Wednesday, September 13 2006 09:30

Still no power. We've resorted to thinking of our situation as luxury camping. Why with a 50,000 gallon bathtub, internet and DVDs, who could ask for more? The nights are a little cooler now so we actually got a good night's sleep. The pool is still clean so we bath twice a day. Bucket flushing is a pain though.
I'm getting a bit bored as I don't have anything scheduled for the week...I was supposed to be off the Island. I'll try to put together an office this afternoon.
Hurricane Gordon seems to be veering away from Bermuda.

Just read in the Bermuda Royal Gazette that there was some looting the day of the hurricane. That's not good news. I've never heard of this happening in Bermuda and I fear that along with thr rise of the gang phenomenon, this represents as symptom of serous societal pathology. There is talk of instituting a curfew for future hurricanes.
On a different note, I nearly fell of my chair when I read this article on BBC News online. I've always found the "six degrees of separation" idea fascinating. I even participated in on online research project trying to verify the hypotheses, The SMALL WORLD Project but no results are out yet. (Anyone know different?) The concept was so appealing AND so unifying. Wishfull thinking I guess.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 5

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-12T15:50:53-03:00

QUICKSWOOD, Bermuda Tuesday, September 12 15:45

Just found out we may be without power till the weekend. SHIT!!..What a pain in the ass. I am sooo happy I bought my little Makita 4.1kw generator! Being able to get on the net makes all the difference. We have also charged our cell phones, used the vacuum cleaner and watched a movie on DVD. It does make a hell of a racket though. We turn it off at about 22:00 to give the neighbors a break.
Guess what we're making for dinner tonight? RESERVATIONS.
You can view pictures (not mine) of Florence here.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 4

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-12T13:07:09-03:00

QUICKSWOOD, Bermuda Tuesday, September 12 2006. 13:00

Well, it's over and it easn't that bad. However, we still do not have power. I have connected our small generator to the refrigerator and I have also powered the Airport base satation which is why I can get on the Internet.
I've spent all morning on the pool again and it's not looking too bad. If we get power in the next day or so, I can probably stop it from turning into a swamp. This is a priority for me as I want to keep up my swimming!
We've started taking the stuff back outside but we do so with our fingets crossed because there is another tropical depression to the south of us.

Then to make matters worse, there is yet another depression following Gordon!

I was meant to fly to Montreal today to attend an orthopedic meeting. However, I've decided to stay here as I did not want to leave Josée in this mess and without power. With the new storms lurking in the neighborhood, I'm sure that's the right choice.
Well, better get back to work. Still have to get all of the pot plants back outside. Talk to you soon.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 3

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-11T21:58:40-03:00

QUICKSWOOD, Bermuda Monday, September 11 2006 21:45

Quick update: On generator power. Florence nowhere as bad as Fabien. Damage to house: none. Damage to property: moderate. Mostly, we have a big mess. Spent over 2 hours cleaning out pool. Wind now down to 30 knots.
More when power restored.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 2

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-10T23:42:06-03:00

Bermuda, Sunday September 10 2006. 23:45.

Just turning in. Had a nice meal with our friends...paella. Wind picking up. Rain beating on the windows. Forcast according to local weather service:
Tonight -
Cloudy, rain, showers, thunder, tornadoes possible... Winds east-southeasterly gale force to storm force, increasing storm force to hurricance force... Low near 26°C/80°F.
Monday -
Cloudy with rain, showers, thunder, and possible tornadoes... Winds south-southeasterly storm force to hurricance force gusting hurricance force, veering southwesterly gale force to storm force by afternoon, westerly strong overnight... High near 28°C/84°F.

Try to post again in the morning.

Good night.

Joseph Froncioni

Florence Update 1

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-10T12:24:41-03:00

Bermuda, Sunday, September 10 2006. 11:45AM

Florence has become a hurricane and is already affecting us. Wind is from the E at 23knots with gusts to 29knots. Rain showers starting with rumblings of thunder. All preparations complete. Now, we just hope the power doesn't go out and that we don't get hit by a tornado.

Here are some before photos:

Stores boarded up, Front Street, Hamilton.
The SMART on Front Street.

Between the Walls as seen from QUICKSWOOD.

QUICKSWOOD nice and tidy before the storm.

Front balcony readied for the storm.

Pool area with everything stored away.

Elbow Beach at 10:15 AM.

For those of you who have been to Bermuda, you may recognise Mickey's Restaurant on Elbow beach. It has been destroyed two or three times previously by hurricanes so this time, they've turned it into Fort Knox! These are metal plates bolted on and sealed with rubber joints. We'll see if it holds up.

This is Lido Restaurant also on Elbow Beach. During the last hurricane, the wave action eroded the sand from under the foundations and caused the whole building to crack right down the center. It has been completely rebuilt. The Windows have been covered with a rigid corrugated plastic bolted to the frames. Again, we'll see if it holds up.

I'll try to post further updates if the power stays on.

Cheers!

Joseph Froncioni

Florence

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-08T19:23:09-03:00

Ok. So I wrote a couple of bad things about G-o-d. And OK, I admit I could have been a bit nicer to the Christians. But jeez, do I deserve to get a hurricane thrown at me!? The bloody thing is barreling right at little old Bermuda. We’re such a small dot in the big Atlantic that you would think that NOTHING could ever hit us. Just look at today’s 5 PM tracking map and computer models. I don’t think the G-o-d-s are happy with me!

This is a big storm. The only saving grace (pardon the religious cliché) is that Florence is not as well organized as it could be. But, it still may be a category 2 by the time it gets here.

So, we have our activities for tomorrow all planned out. First, batten down all the shutters. Then, take in all the outdoor furniture. Josée has way too many pot plants out there that all need storing away. We already have batteries, paraffin lamp oil and plenty of water and canned food. We’ll make sure the cell phones are charged up and I’ll start up the old generator. Got to get some gas for it...and spare oil. The pool needs shocking and the garbage bins need to be secured. The new mega-BBQ that Josée bought at a charity auction needs to go into the guesthouse but I’m not sure it will fit. In any case, it may be too heavy to lift. Where are my kids when I need them? Will my SMART CAR blow away? It only weighs 800kg. And what about the soft-top? How will that resist 90knot winds?

The only thing I look forward to tomorrow is dinner at Waterloo House with Josée…it’s her birthday Sunday but everything is likely to be shut then because of Florence. After dinner, we’ll walk home and admire the power of nature…and I may regret ever having posted that piece about you know who.

The God Meme

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-08T06:47:14-03:00

Essay on the origin of the God concept.

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.” Lenny Bruce

Richard Dawkins first coined the word “meme” in his award winning book, The Selfish Gene (1976). Meme is a shortened version of the Greek word mimema, “that which is imitated”. A meme is a unit of culture that is passed on from one individual to another by non-genetic means such as imitation. Similar to genes, those biological units of heredity that are made up of nucleotides on a chromosome, memes require three qualities to be successful: 1- Fidelity: The more accurate the copy, the more a meme will resemble the original after several rounds of copying. Take Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9. Now here’s a meme that has existed in the form of musical notation since 1824. Since then, it has been passed on with little or no alteration in the arrangement of the musical notes that make it up, i.e. it has been copied or imitated with a high degree of fidelity. 2-Fecundity: The faster a meme can be replicated, the faster it will spread. The 9th did not spread by word of mouth but rather by means of the printing press thus allowing more and more musicians to play the piece, and more and more listeners to know and love it. 3-Longevity: Compare Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 to, say, "Blame It On The Rain” by Milli Vanilli (late ‘80s). The former has longevity and is thriving whereas the latter has nearly disappeared. Think of memes as the cultural equivalents of genes except that we pass them on to future generations by the process of imitation, not heredity. Meme…sounds like gene.
Our lives as creatures with big brains are inextricably linked to memes….millions and millions of them, every day. Some go in one ear and out the other. Others, however, are so powerful that they change our lives. They affect what and how we do things. Some memes are so successful that they become memory engrams in our brains…actual neuro-chemical patterns that we have acquired that have become permanent fixtures of our brains. For example, start singing Happy Birthday to You. You can sing this tune without thinking, hitting all the right notes and crooning all the lyrics without hesitation. Yet, it was first transmitted to you as a meme and now it is part of your brain! Furthermore, it is likely that you have already transmitted this meme to your children, not by the process of heredity but rather by imitation. Adoptive parents, unable as they are to pass on their genetic traits to their children find joy in the fact that the can and do pass on their memes. Our brains are meme machines (The Meme Machine by Susan Blackmore)!

Just as genes can change by random mutation, memes can change over time. A simple example: The cliché “I could care less” is entrenched in American vernacular. It is used to mean, “I don’t care at all”. Literally, however, it expresses the following: “I do care somewhat (since it would be possible for me to care a little less)”. The original and correct expression is “I couldn’t care less”. However, the prevalence of the incorrect version proves that even ugly memes can have longevity. A particularly ugly meme resides in George W. Bush’s little brain and it appears it’s there to stay. Dubya says “nucular” instead of “nuclear”. Then again, never attribute malice to that which can simply be explained by stupidity.

So what do memes have to do with God? Well, I (and many others) happen to believe that the concept we know as God, an omnipotent and omniscient being, is simply a very successful meme. It is probably a meme that has arisen in one form or another thousands of times in the history of mankind. Certain versions of the God meme have survived and thrived. Most, however, have likely fallen by the wayside. The most successful God memes have coalesced with other memes to form “memeplexes” known as religions. Some of these memeplexes have become human culture’s poster-boys of fidelity, fecundity and longevity: think Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism.

Why did a God meme come about in the first place and why has it been so successful? Well, first of all, although the human brain is not the only meme machine to have arisen on this planet (Many other mammalian and non-mammalian creatures transmit memes to other members of their species, e.g. bird songs are memes that are transmitted from one bird to the other by means of imitation.), it is certainly and by far the most powerful. Humans developed huge brains; the human brain contains 100 billion neurons! That’s a lot of computing power. So, even early on in the evolution of our species, survival depended a lot on using our big brains. And, a big brain gets you thinking…quite literally. Until very recently in our history, we have lived largely in fear and nearly complete ignorance about the world around us. Where did we come from? Why did my children die? Why did my crops fail? These and many more were questions that would not be fully answered until we developed the scientific method. And, we’ve always struggled with the most important and scary of life’s certainties: death.

Like the wheel and fire, the God meme came about because it served a very important survival function for humankind. Despair, fear and anxiety were not conducive to success for a species. With no other way to answer the deep and disturbing puzzles of life, the God meme went a long way towards calming these harrowing fears. The God meme provided emotional comfort, a safety net, a reassurance that someone was watching and that in the end there lay waiting not darkness but something kinder and more welcoming that would counterbalance the painful travails of worldly existence. Indeed, we find a God meme in all human cultures on the globe.

I’m not so sure, however, that a God meme in isolation would have been so successful. Rather, the key to its success was the formation of memeplexes. Indeed, the God meme existing as it does in close cooperation with carrot-and-stick memes such as prayer, sin, heaven, hell, 70 virgins after martyrdom etc. becomes very powerful indeed. Religion in one form or another holds sway over the vast majority of the world’s population, and this in spite of the fact that many of our most pressing questions about the world around us have been adequately answered by science. Ah…but then again there’s the death thing that still hangs over us. Moreover, no memeplex has ever arisen that is better suited to mass behavior manipulation than religion. Indeed, the vast majority of the unwashed masses as well as a good proportion of the penny loafer crowd live their lives according to the dictates of one religion or another. Christianity, arguably the most successful of them all, is so powerful that it continues to hold its own against such scientific certainties such as evolution and the geological age of the earth. Sadly, most of the world’s wars throughout history have been prosecuted under the banner of one God meme or another. One memeplex, to pick on Christianity again, is today condemning millions of its followers to exposure to HIV/AIDS and its devastating socio-economic consequences by forbidding the use of condoms.

How much life does the God meme have left in it? Probably quite a bit. In fact it surprises me very much (and it shouldn’t I know) how viable the God meme is in this, the 21st century. Carl Sagan put it this way: “I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudoscience and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive. Where have we heard it before? Whenever our ethnic or national prejudices are aroused, in times of scarcity, during challenges to national self-esteem or nerve, when we agonize about our diminished cosmic place and purpose, or when fanaticism is bubbling up around us-then, habits of thought familiar from ages past reach for the controls. The candle flame gutters. Its little pool of light trembles. Darkness gathers. The demons begin to stir.” [Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark]

Joseph Froncioni

100 Things About Myself

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-03T18:32:11-03:00

VERY personal information about me.

It is often hard to be completely honest with your self and it is even harder to be really honest with others. We are in a sense constructed of layers. The superficial one is exposed for all to see and for most is not anxiety provoking. There is a deeper layer, however, that we only allow our closest friends to see and an even deeper one that is reserved for a spouse or close relative. Deeper still is the murky layer that hides secrets. This layer only sees the light of day when we mistakenly let down our guard. Even the most confident among us will suffer if this layer is revealed. Finally, way down deep is the layer that is the repository of what can be referred to as our “skeletons”. Under normal circumstances, this layer will never be revealed.
I present for your reading pleasure “100 Things About Myself”. I do this as an exercise in openness. Here is one of my layers that probably resides somewhere between the close friend and the spouse. I compiled this list during a vacation in the South of France in 2005 and I found the exercise cathartic in the most refreshing sense of the word. Strangely enough, the only people who have seen this list are my close friends and my wife! Producing such a list is certainly not for everyone. If you are tempted though, go right ahead and start writing. Even if you never show the list to anyone, I am certain you will gain something positive from the exercise. Some day when enough water has gone under the bridge, I may just publish a deeper layer if I can find the courage.

1. I’m a father and husband first, then an orthopedic surgeon.
2. I would retire tomorrow if I could afford it.
3. I don’t think I’m easy to get along with.
4. I have a strong sense of social responsibility.
5. I’m very opinionated and I enjoy yanking people’s chains.
6. I love to discuss (some would say argue) controversial topics.
7. I would do anything for my kids.
8. The person I admire most is my wife.
9. I’m a skinflint for small things (i.e. toilet paper) but will spend a fortune on art (especially chairs) without batting an eye.
10. I place more importance on form than in function.
11. I can’t stand a mess.
12. I don’t lend books.
13. I don’t borrow books.
14. I never dog-ear pages but use bookmarks.
15. I read an equal mix of fiction and non-fiction.
16. I’m an atheist but love to talk about religion.
17. I abhor circumcision and consider it male genital mutilation.
18. I love dogs.
19. I hate cats.
20. My favorite culture is Italian.
21. My favorite food is Italian.
22. As a generalization, I dislike American cultural values.
23. I do not enjoy ballet.
24. I place no importance on wealth as an end in itself. Fortunately, I earn enough so I can spend lavishly on stuff that makes my family and me happy.
25. There are many things I disliked about my father, and there are many things I admired in him. I’ve tried to rid myself of the former and imitate the latter.
26. I’m a morning person.
27. I love driving.
28. I am possessed by technolust.
29. I believe in “Out with the old, in with the new.”
30. I enjoy reading on the can.
31. I generally sleep on the right side of the bed.
32. I am a bad businessman.
33. I am a 100% loyal husband.
34. I don’t think I could live without my wife.
35. I can’t sing.
36. I think I can dance. My wife doesn’t agree.
37. I can’t play any musical instruments…and that bugs me.
38. I have seen 2001:A Space Odyssey 11 times, the first time being at Montreal’s Imperial Cinerama with my dad when I was 15.
39. My favorite cheese in Parmigianno Reggiano.
40. I hate restaurants without white linen tablecloths.
41. Sometimes, I think I come from a dysfunctional family.
42. I like to be naked.
43. I love black and white photography.
44. I hope I have passed on my intellectual values to my children but that they have inherited my wife’s emotional and social qualities.
45. I love to fly.
46. I have trouble with death and dying both professionally and personally.
47. I never remember people’s names.
48. I never ever enjoyed water-skiing.
49. I wish I could be barefoot all the time.
50. I have athlete’s foot.
51. If I could choose another profession, I’d be an industrial designer or a photographer.
52. I want to retire in Tuscany.
53. I have a very good sense of smell which is sometimes an inconvenience.
54. I like to write.
55. I snore …badly.
56. I have trouble with very aggressive people but I know some people would say I’m aggressive.
57. I have very few significant regrets in my life.
58. I have changed quite a bit over the years in large part because of my wife.
59. I’ve never been seasick.
60. The best wine I ever drank was Chateau D’Yquem 1962
61. I like to teach (like my dad).
62. I’m only just starting to feel grown-up.
63. I consider myself a decent amateur photographer (and I want to photograph my wife nude but has not agreed…yet).
64. I prefer carbonated to still water.
65. I’d rather rock the boat than row.
66. I have very few really good friends.
67. I’ve developed a sweet tooth.
68. I don’t like television and particularly hate sitcoms.
69. I always have a book on the go…but never two.
70. I’m not a romantic but I think I’m a good lover (ask my wife).
71. I truly believe that you have to leave honesty at the door to become a politician.
72. Two books I couldn’t finish: James Joyce’s Ulysses and Umberto Ecco’s Baudolino. I struggled to finish the Bible.
73. I believe religious fanaticism (including Mr. Bush’s supporters) is the greatest threat in the world. In this respect, my views mirror those of Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris.
74. If I have the choice between two similar items, I’ll buy the more expensive one.
75. I could never own a fake anything.
76. I get hives if someone serves me wine in Waterford crystal.
77. Ageing doesn’t bother me too much but it’s the dying at the end bit that kills me.
78. My living hero: Nelson Mandela.
79. I wish I could speak perfect Italian.
80. Biggest gastronomic about face in my life: switching from fork and spoon to fork alone to eat pasta (1984).
81. Biggest fashion about face in my life: switching all my shoes from Brooks Brothers to Prada.
82. Current favorite chair in my collection: La Chaise by Charles and Ray Eames.
83. I could eat pasta nearly every day.
84. I am now certain I will never break three hours in a marathon.
85. I don’t do slippers or pajamas.
86. I hate baseball caps.
87. I take my coffee black.
88. I find it difficult to understand how a well-educated person can believe in God.
89. Chiropractics to me is synonymous with health fraud.
90. I hate guns and especially America’s love affair with them.
91. I’m not very patriotic.
92. I believe women should keep their own names when they get married.
93. I make liberal use of exaggeration when I tell a story.
94. I believe the Internet is the most important technological development in my lifetime.
95. I can’t stand Chinese food.
96. I can’t stand people who use nail clippers in public.
97. The last time I used a comb was when I was 13.
98. The only time I take my wedding band off is when I operate.
99. I have never worn undershirts.
100. I make lists.

Joseph Froncioni

Berrocal is Dead

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-09-03T12:24:51-03:00

Essay about a sculptor whose work I collect.

Miguel Ortiz Berrocal is dead. Born in Málaga, Spain on September 28 1933, Berrocal died of prostate cancer on May 31 2006 in Antequera, a small town in the Andalucia region of Southern Spain. For much of his creative life, Berrocal lived with his second wife, Princess Cristina, granddaughter of the last King of Portugal, in their palatial Villa in Negrar on the outskirts of Verona. Combining mathematics, architecture and sculpture in his art, Berrocal joins the ranks of Picasso and Dali, from whom he sought inspiration, as one of the great artistic sons of Spain. Immodesty aside, Berrocal will forever be remembered for his attempt to democratize (interpreted by some of his contemporaries as “turning commercial”) sculpture through his concept of “multiples”.
I remember it clearly. It was 1978 and I was in my second year of medical school. I was leafing through the January issue of SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN when I came upon one of my favorite sections, Martin Gardner’s Mathematical Games. Gardner had written his piece on a little known Spanish sculptor who was gaining some renown for his puzzle sculptures. The photo on the first page of the article was of Berrocal’s Goliath, an 80-piece work of genius. I read the whole thing and lingered on the 4 or 5 other sculptures pictured. That’s when I decided that some day I would own a Berrocal sculpture. And for the time being, that was it. I certainly couldn’t afford one as a medical student and in any case, I wouldn’t even have known where to start looking for his works (Remember, this was pre-Internet.). So, I think I just stored Mr. Berrocal in a little space in my head and went on with life.
Twenty-two years later, in 2000, I stumbled upon a second article about Berrocal. By this time, my financial situation was much improved and we had the Internet. The challenge was on! The very first thing I did was to call my brother Andy whom I knew had a friend who owned a complete collection of SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN. In no time at all, I had in my hands the article that had marked me so very much. I then began scouring the net for anything I could find on the man. I quickly located several sources for his work. The most interesting, however, was a retired New York dentist, Dr. Robert Weinstein (name altered) who was selling his entire collection of modern art. In the mid-seventies, he had purchased a lot of nearly one hundred works from Dr Robert Atkins (of The Atkins Diet fame) including 2 sculptures by Berrocal: Torero (1972) and Romeo e Giulietta (1966). The good dentist, it seems, was not aware of the current market value of these sculptures as his asking price for them was, to say the least, on the low side. He admitted to me that because he had acquired them as part of the Atkins lot (which included a number of Warhols and Lichtensteins), he was not sure exactly what he had paid for them. So I pounced! Philippe was 12 and I’m sure he still remembers accompanying an excited daddy to the freight terminal at Dorval (now Pierre Elliott Trudeau) Airport to take possession of a very heavy crate. The thrill…like being reunited with a woman you’re in love with after 22 years of separation!

My acquisition of the two works however, only served to whet my appetite. That same year, I placed successful bids on two other Berrocals in an online Sotheby’s auction. As luck would have it, the auction for these pieces was scheduled to close right smack in the middle of a black-tie wine tasting dinner I was attending. To make matters worse, the host had only dial-up Internet service so that it would take an eternity to register my bids. Well sauced as I was, another aggressive online buyer was giving me stiff competition and this required that I excuse myself from the table at least five times, a discourtesy for which my wife has still not forgiven me. But all’s well that ends well and that evening I became the happy owner of Mini David and Portrait de Michele.

Berrocal puzzle sculptures usually come with a handsome book about the piece complete with drawings of each individual element by the artist and detailed instructions about disassembling and reassembling the sculpture. The good dentist had, however, misplaced the books that came with Torero and Romeo e Giulietta; he speculated they had departed with his ex-wife. Furthermore, the sculptures had not been disassembled in a very long time and brass polish had served to fuse the individual elements together. Torero in particular resisted all of our (my engineer brothers gave me a hand) initial efforts at disassembly. We first had to discover the “secret” opening sequence of moves, all of which are interdependent, i.e. element n + 1 cannot be removed until element n is removed; other elements require one or more other pieces to be slightly adjusted before they can be removed. Romeo e Giulietta yielded its solution with less resistance. The Sotheby’s pieces came with books (although I did not use them for initial disassembly).

All these sculptures are solid when assembled i.e. there are no empty spaces within the sculptures. Romeo e Giulietta (12x21x9cm) is composed of 16 elements (see left) and weighs 9.7 kg. Torero (28.5x22x20 cm) has 18 elements and weights in at a massive 13.2 kg. Mini David (14x5.5x3.7 cm) is composed of 23 elements and Portrait de Michele (10.3x7.1x5.3 cm) 18 elements. These sculptures are not only beautiful visually but also stimulating intellectually. Assembled, Berrocal’s works combine both the tradition of Classicism and the audacity of Modernism. Most of his sculptures possess elements of humor, soupçons of sexuality and the occasional surprise. For example, at one stage of disassembly of Romeo e Giulietta, one must interrupt the lovers in flagrant delis and remove Romeo’s member from within Giulietta in order to progress further. In Mini David, one of the elements is a wearable gold ring made up of David’s genitals and a sapphire. Disassembled, the individual elements yield a tactile pleasure that only serves to amplify the visual and cognitive indulgence.

Alas, Berrocal is no more. I suspect, however, that I have not quite finished my relationship with this man. Someday, I may once again yield to the temptation and experience the joy of holding yet another Berrocal sculpture.

Joseph Froncioni

Technomix

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-08-25T17:55:10-03:00

Story about an interesting incident that happened when I was a mountaineering instructor.

“I know I have had an unusual life, being born in a skin tent and living to hear on the radio that two men have landed on the moon.” Pitseolak Ashoona, Cape Dorset, 1971

Thirty years ago, I found myself on the Wapta Icefield in Canada’s Banff National Park. In those days, I had found summer employment as a mountaineering instructor for the Canadian Army, an enviable job for any climber.(That's me in the photo on the right.) Every week, we led groups of Master Cadets onto the glaciers for what was probably the most thrilling experience of their summer. After an arduous hike from the Banff/Jasper Highway, we would end up at Bow Hut for a first night of luxury. At that time, Bow Hut was a single-room structure at the very toe of the glacier; today, it is a rather luxurious multi-room shelter at some distance from the glacier as the latter has receded considerably in the last 30 years. Thereafter, the trip would take us on a three-day traverse of the Icefields where accommodation would consist of eiderdown sleeping bags and nylon tents. The students tended to be ill equipped with thin moldy army-issue sleeping bags. The mountaineering instructors, in contrast, used all the latest gear and so while the students had consistently miserable nights, we slept like babies!
On one particular trip, one of my students was a 17-year-old boy from the Canadian Arctic. This lad was tough and snow was his element. One afternoon, he informed us that he had brought along his snow knife and offered to build us an igloo if we would agree to spend the night in it. He needed no help, he said, and he reckoned it would take him no more that three hours to build an igloo big enough to accommodate all 4 instructors. Since none of us had ever experienced a night in an igloo or even seen a real igloo, we agreed.

Wearing only a t-shirt and shorts, our lad first drew a circle in the snow. He then stepped into the circle and proceeded to use his snow knife to harvest the snow blocks he would need to build the igloo. The structure started as an inclined plane following the line of the circle with each successive row inclined slightly toward the center point and each block gaining support from the previous, loose snow serving as mortar. As the floor of the igloo was lowered progressively by the block harvesting, the white hemisphere gradually closed over the builder until he had completely sealed himself in. At completion, the floor of the igloo was 3 -4 feet below ground (snow) level. Our builder then proceeded to dig his way out in a fashion that left the igloo with a wind-proof tunneled entrance. The interior consisted of the floor and a surrounding ledge that would serve as a sleeping platform. Near a glacier stream, he even found a sheet of ice that he proceeded to install at the apex of the igloo as a skylight! We stared in admiration at the completed structure, this temporary abode constructed in front of our very eyes using building methods that were probably thousands of years old. Truly impressive!

Before turning in, we took part in a celebratory dinner to which our builder had contributed freshly made Arctic flatbread, the preparation of which we all regretted seeing since it required frequent adjustments of the dough’s consistency by the addition of gobs of spittle by the builder now turned baker. Thinking back on this and remembering as well that no hand washing facilities were available, it is a small wonder we survived the night with nary a gastrointestinal incident. Thankfully, bacteria are heat labile!

Stomachs full and muscles aching (botulism?!!#@) we four retired to our digs, ready for a fascinating if primitive respite from our tents. With moonlight streaming though our frosted skylight, we proceeded to lay ourselves out on the sleeping platform. Dressed as we were in mesh undies, polyester and wool knickers and cotton tees, we slipped into our expensive rip-stop nylon and eider-down mummy bags ready for a well-deserved slumber.

Midnight: Woke up in a natural fug and the sound of drips. The inside air temperature had certainly increased since our initial entrance and I unzipped the mummy a tad.

Two AM: Christ, I’m uncomfortable! Body heat, exhaled water vapor and melting snow had combined to increase the humidity to tropical levels. Toss and turn a few times and think Z’s.

Four AM: I’m cold…and wet! I realize the only thing separating me from the outside world is a soggy pancake of matted down and nylon. Christ! How do those people survive in these things?

Five AM: Watching the sunrise with a hot cuppa in hand and porridge on the boil, I was happy to find out that my three flat-mates had spent an equally unpleasant night. So, what had gone wrong? The igloo was supposed to have kept us warm and comfy. We had top-notch gear to boot.

This is what we concluded: You can’t mix old and new technologies and always expect them to jive. The gear we had was meant to be used in a rip-stop nylon tent complete with fly and ventilation holes. To live comfortably in an igloo, you need to do the following: 1- Don’t wash. You need those normal body oils that we in so-called “developed” societies remove everyday and flush down the shower drain. 2- Clothes and bedding need to be of animal products i.e. oily animal skins with plenty of fur. These materials are the only ones that are compatible with the cold high humidity of the igloo interior.

Final words of advice: When in Rome, do as the Romans…and when in an igloo, do as the Inuit. And do try that flatbread!

Joseph Froncioni

Form and Function

Joseph Froncioni — 2006-08-23T20:58:28-03:00

Essay on the place of form and function in design.

“All it takes to fly is to hurl yourself at the ground... and miss.” Douglas Adams

Form and function are attributes that all objects possess in varying proportions. An oil painting for example is nearly all form…except when it serves to hide the wall safe. Barbed wire, on the other hand is mostly all function except when used symbolically by Amnesty International (see left). This is not to imply that a given object possesses only one of these attributes to the complete exclusion of the other. I know of beautiful barbed wire (see Mr. Smish & Madame Buttly™ razor wire at right).
Form and function therefore define a spectrum. Maybe that spectrum can be thought of simply as a range that goes from beautiful but useless to ugly but useful.
Does form always follow function as the 19th century American architect Louis Henri Sullivan proposed? Consider also then if necessity is always the mother of invention or might it sometimes be the other way around as proposed by Thorstein Veblen? (After all, it was not for many years after its invention that a good use was found for the telephone.) Sullivan and his followers felt that in the design process, the resulting form was determined by the function for which it was being designed. It is my opinion that if this were truly so, all objects serving the same function would eventually be reduced to a single form after numerous design iterations. This is clearly not the case in real life.
Think of any object, say the cell phone, to appreciate the myriad forms developed by thousands of design firms all to serve the same function (see PENCK phone at right). Clearly, form is more important to us than simply performing the task for which it was designed.
(Please…don’t be shy…stop reading if you feel I’m rambling. I do tend to do that ☺.) I guess this brings us to aesthetics and its importance in daily life. I know many individuals who exist at the function end of the spectrum. They go out to buy, say, a chair (…you know I’ll be submitting a full post on this little beauty of a topic at a later date!) and what they want is simply an object to sit on. Period. For them, a chair is a chair is a chair and apart from some very basic decorative requirements, nearly any chair will do the job (I don’t intent to be demeaning to anyone…just making a point. Chacun son gout!). Others, myself included, have a desire, no, a need to live on the form end of the spectrum. It can be a bit of an obsession. I, for one, can’t even buy a book without considering the design aesthetics of the cover…no way to judge a book, you say. Well I agree…but I just can’t help it! Everything I own has to please my aesthetically. If is doesn’t, I suffer the damned thing but never fall in love with it. On the other hand, when I find an object whose form enchants me, the love affair is seemingly endless.
Take my dinning room table for instance (…well, no…you can’t have it!).
Purchased around 1980 from van Leeuwen Boomkamp in Ottawa, my La Barca table (designed by Piero De Martini and manufactured by Cassina, Italy.), since discontinued, has provided me with no end of joy and pleasure. I kid you not that even today, some 26 years later, I still run my hand along it and get a rise from the little hairs in the back of my neck. Sitting at that table, I often get a déjà vu that transports me right back to the moment way back then when I uncrated what was to be my first important design acquisition. The déjà vu even includes the smells of new wood and cardboard and the sounds of George Benson’s “Give Me The Night” blasting from the speakers. Oh if that table could speak…it would tell of drunken evenings, fine food with friends and animated discussions about politics, religion and sex.
For me, it is the form of an object that gives it a soul (figuratively of course). Good function and bad form equals no soul. But great form and NO function…that’s art!

Joseph Froncioni

What kind of individual do you think will have the least chance of getting elected President of the United States in 2008?
	An avowed gay man
	An avowed atheist man
	A black man
	A woman

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	I am absolutely certain there is a God.
	Can't be sure, but strongly believe in God and live my life on the assumption that he exists.
	I am very uncertain, but I am inclined to believe in God.
	God's existence and non-existence are exactly equiprobable.
	I don't know whether God exists but I'm inclined to be sceptical.
	Can't know for sure, but think God is very improbable, and live life assuming that he doesn't exist
	I am absolutely certain there is no God.

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